I'm trying to recover, but no one believes it happened in the first place.
January 31, 2011 10:45 PM Subscribe
I grew up in a difficult home situation involving one of my parents, who recently informed that whenever I reached out to a therapist/counselor about what was going on, they would go to her with what I said and even forward e-mails I sent talking about my situation at home.
posted by Pericardium to human relations (45 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
She said they ultimately sided with her, and concluded that I was just a person harboring unfounded anger. I believe her because I've had people I went to for help tell me that she seemed really nice and I must be lying or exaggerating... but i never thought they told her everything.
I feel betrayed and violated. The most recent people to forward things I thought I'd said in confidence over to my mother were college counselors that I'd gone to to try to get help with all the problems my childhood has caused in my adult life. I'm over 18 and I thought there was confidentiality, but I guess not.
I feel hurt and angry. The first person I told about what was going on was a school counselor in my early teens, and although she didn't believe me (She suggested it was a "one time thing"), it still felt good to finally tell somebody.
Now it's like that sense of security was false... I never thought people I went to specifically for help would, or even could, go to my Mom with everything I said. I've talked to at least six people since I was 14 or so, and I'm 20 now, so I have no idea which ones said something other than the college counselor she specifically mentioned.
I'm posting now because I've recently decided to seek professional help in once again trying to deal with the problems that stemmed from my childhood. But now I'm terrified they'll go straight to my Mom again, or they'll think I'm just an angry person but never tell me. Has anyone had any similar experiences? I want to regain my trust because I think therapy is an important step for me in getting better.