December 20, 2010 8:50 PM Subscribe
Guy has fling; now guy wants to rekindle things because it works for him. How do I handle this?
posted by anonymous to human relations (22 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I had brief fling with a guy who worked at my company. We are in the same department, although he is higher than me in terms of pay. After a short while, he started a relationship with another woman he met online, and moved in with her. As a result, he went from being very kind and sweet to cold and business like, which made me feel like a whore.
So now the company is going through re-structuring, and many employees are leaving. I am currently fishing around for jobs, though it is difficult in this economy, especially in my line of work. I heard from him recently that he was doing the same, and started dropping hints that he wanted to rekindle things., and leave his girlfriend behind. It would work out great for him--as a British citizen, it would be impossible to stay in the States unless he married someone or found another job that would sponsor him, and it would be hard to find the same kind of work at the same pay rate alone. Two for the price of one, right?
This makes me very angry. Although it's just a suggestion and I can walk away from it, I can't seem to do it without wanting to release two years' worth of resentment towards the guy. I feel like all I am in that situation is a pawn, that he doesn't really like me, that I am just notch in his belt. How can I walk away with this without losing my temper on him?