Help me find the motivation to do creative and interesting things with my free time!
posted by greenfelttip to human relations (23 answers total) 61 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a 25 year old woman, currently working full-time (40 hours per week) at a job I mostly enjoy, living with my long-term boyfriend.
My problem is that I find it really difficult to be motivated to do things in my free time. When I get home from work in the evenings, I always feel tired, and all I want to do is cook, eat, chat for a while, watch some TV, maybe read a book, and sleep. At weekends, it's similar - I feel the need for 'downtime' and 'quiet time' by myself quite often.
It's not like I don't do anything, though. The bf and I usually meet up with friends once or twice a week. He's involved in the art scene in our city, so there's often an opening or some kind of event to go to. At weekends we go shopping, to the library or to a museum occasionally, or just out for a walk. We like sitting in bars and cafes, and going out dancing sometimes.
My problem is that I would like to develop and spend more time on my own creative interests, but when an opportunity presents itself to do something creative, I just don't feel like it. My boyfriend is an artist, and he spends a lot of time when not at his day job working on his various art projects. That's great for him, and I'm totally happy for him to do that. While he's doing these things, I think to myself, "well, perhaps this is a good time to work on those felt brooches I wanted to try making", or "maybe I could write in my journal right now"... but then I usually decide, "nah, I'm too tired, maybe I'll just watch Gossip Girl instead." But I feel guilty about what seems like wasted time, and I'm confused as to why I no longer feel enthusiastic about things which, a few days ago, seemed super exciting.
Always when I'm looking into the future the thought of spending time on craft projects or writing or baking or swimming or cycling or taking photos sounds fun and exciting. But when the time to do it comes around, I'm just not motivated. Maybe I'm just plain lazy. Whenever I do get around to doing these things, I always enjoy it. Actually, now that I come to think of it, my attitude towards socialising is similar - I often kinda dread it or see it as a necessary evil, but then I enjoy it when I'm out. When I have time off work and my schedule is wide open, I often do find time to do these things, and enjoy it immensely - but having time off work just to hang out at home doesn't happen very often.
I feel like if I'm not pursuing these creative interests, then I'm not as interesting a person as I could be. My friends are all artists of one kind or another - I'm the rare bird with a full-time job in our circle, they're usually working here and there to fund their art. Not one of them ever says or does anything to make me feel inferior, but I guess I have a little complex about it.
Anyone have any thoughts or insights, ideas, tips or angry yelling which you think might help me figure out why I'm like this and what I can do about it? Your input would be much appreciated. I've browsed other threads on the subject, but, you know, I can't help feeling like a special snowflake even if I'm merely an ordinary snowflake.
Oh, I should add that I am already in therapy, and this is something I will also broach with my therapist, so if you were going to suggest that, thanks, I'm on it ;).