Need An Impressive Class Name
November 9, 2010 7:45 PM Subscribe
Help me come up with a VERY IMPRESSIVE-SOUNDING fake class title! It's for a gag proposal. It has to be something very obscure, and very intellectual sounding, for a college class. Thanks!
Bullshit welcome.
Bullshit welcome.
How about an actual class that I took:
Russian-American Reelism: Chekhov, Stanislavsky, and the Rise of the Method in Modern American Film Acting
posted by ocherdraco at 7:51 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Russian-American Reelism: Chekhov, Stanislavsky, and the Rise of the Method in Modern American Film Acting
posted by ocherdraco at 7:51 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Sociokinetics of Neo-Sartreanism in Post-Industrial France.
posted by ORthey at 7:52 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by ORthey at 7:52 PM on November 9, 2010
Whatever you do, it has to include the phrase "Framing the Other."
posted by Madamina at 7:52 PM on November 9, 2010 [11 favorites]
posted by Madamina at 7:52 PM on November 9, 2010 [11 favorites]
The Hermeneutics of Post-Structuralism: A Nuanced Approach. (Part 1)
posted by raztaj at 7:53 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by raztaj at 7:53 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity would be good for these purposes, methinks.
posted by scody at 7:57 PM on November 9, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by scody at 7:57 PM on November 9, 2010 [6 favorites]
Disambiguating the Hermeneutics of Pre-Postmodernism: Re-imagining Humanism from Kant to Husserl, with a Special Emphasis on The Role of Cheese
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:57 PM on November 9, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:57 PM on November 9, 2010 [8 favorites]
You need this: The Amazing and Incredible, Only-Slightly-Laughable, Politically Unassailable, PoMo English Paper Title Generator.
Modify as needed to make it appropriate for a class title.
posted by apricot at 8:03 PM on November 9, 2010 [9 favorites]
Modify as needed to make it appropriate for a class title.
posted by apricot at 8:03 PM on November 9, 2010 [9 favorites]
Algebraic Affinities: Quantum Isomonodromy and Post-Marxian Economics
posted by phrontist at 8:08 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by phrontist at 8:08 PM on November 9, 2010
If you use the word "Hermeneutics", don't spell it "Hermaneutics", as the latter can only be a Herman Munster exercise video, and that's not classy at all.
posted by smcameron at 8:09 PM on November 9, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by smcameron at 8:09 PM on November 9, 2010 [8 favorites]
Symplectic differential geometry and non-abelian homeomorphisms. Those words make sense, but not together.
posted by bessel functions seem unnecessarily complicated at 8:11 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by bessel functions seem unnecessarily complicated at 8:11 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
If you want a title related to physics, look to snarXiv.org for inspiration. (Its a parody of arXiv.org).
Their quiz, where you attempt to differentiate between real (arXiv) and fake (snarXiv) physics paper titles, demonstrates its efficacy.
posted by Hither at 8:12 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Their quiz, where you attempt to differentiate between real (arXiv) and fake (snarXiv) physics paper titles, demonstrates its efficacy.
posted by Hither at 8:12 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Molecular Biochemistry 311: Extracellular Matrix Remodelling, With Particular Emphasis on Metalloendopeptidase Kinetics
Applied Pharmacology 321: Cytochrome P450 Enzymes in Psychopharmacology
Chemistry 412: Mass Spectometry and Liquid Chromatography Techniques for Studying Glycoproteins
Chemical Engineering 411: Fourier Transform Ion Cyclotron Resonance Mass Spectrometry Methods
posted by gingerest at 8:12 PM on November 9, 2010
Applied Pharmacology 321: Cytochrome P450 Enzymes in Psychopharmacology
Chemistry 412: Mass Spectometry and Liquid Chromatography Techniques for Studying Glycoproteins
Chemical Engineering 411: Fourier Transform Ion Cyclotron Resonance Mass Spectrometry Methods
posted by gingerest at 8:12 PM on November 9, 2010
I think the long form has more potential-
TI504 - Intro to World Domination
The Pope? How many divisions has he got?
-Joseph Stalin
The bulk of the lectures will be devoted to a fast-moving survey of despots past and present, while lab sessions will focus on solitary contemplation during which the student is encouraged to develop a methodological framework for subjugation of the entire human species.
This class satisfies the general 'Scheme/Plot/Vendetta' requirement. It may be taken by graduate students and upper-level undergraduates who have received a letter of commendation from an instructor. Student evaluation will be based upon a single question asked at gunpoint during a moment of weakness.
chatfilter
posted by kickback at 8:13 PM on November 9, 2010 [5 favorites]
TI504 - Intro to World Domination
The Pope? How many divisions has he got?
-Joseph Stalin
The bulk of the lectures will be devoted to a fast-moving survey of despots past and present, while lab sessions will focus on solitary contemplation during which the student is encouraged to develop a methodological framework for subjugation of the entire human species.
This class satisfies the general 'Scheme/Plot/Vendetta' requirement. It may be taken by graduate students and upper-level undergraduates who have received a letter of commendation from an instructor. Student evaluation will be based upon a single question asked at gunpoint during a moment of weakness.
chatfilter
posted by kickback at 8:13 PM on November 9, 2010 [5 favorites]
For Madamina: Framing the Other though the Self: Post-colonial Narrative Abstracts in Multimodal Autobiographical Quasi-Histories
posted by oflinkey at 8:20 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by oflinkey at 8:20 PM on November 9, 2010
Actually, I once had to go to a lecture on "The Hermeneutics of Hexatonic Poles" [in Wagner's Tristan und Isolde.] That was nearly enough to set me off to transferring... again.
posted by Madamina at 8:21 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by Madamina at 8:21 PM on November 9, 2010
Pathophysiology 214: Characteristic Hepatic and Renal Clearance Pharmacokinetics in Non-Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus
Comparative Physiology 344: Eutopic Endometrial Characteristics in Higher Primates, A Phase-Based Approach
Comparative Physiology 215: Induced Excitatory Neurotoxicity of the Hippocampus and Cingular Cortex in Rodentia and Lagomorpha
I could do this all fucking day.
posted by gingerest at 8:22 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Comparative Physiology 344: Eutopic Endometrial Characteristics in Higher Primates, A Phase-Based Approach
Comparative Physiology 215: Induced Excitatory Neurotoxicity of the Hippocampus and Cingular Cortex in Rodentia and Lagomorpha
I could do this all fucking day.
posted by gingerest at 8:22 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Location Analysis Sociology: The social construction of spatial optimization in the realm of business site selection
posted by schyler523 at 8:23 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by schyler523 at 8:23 PM on November 9, 2010
Quantum cohomological methods in the analytic combinatorics of several variables.
posted by madcaptenor at 8:26 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by madcaptenor at 8:26 PM on November 9, 2010
Chomsky in context: American hegemony and the radical redefinition of 21st century bad hair.
posted by alpinist at 8:28 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by alpinist at 8:28 PM on November 9, 2010
The Transgressive Hermeneutic Circle and Embodied Subjectivity: A Lacanian Reframing of Lady Gaga's Early Works
posted by space_cookie at 8:28 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by space_cookie at 8:28 PM on November 9, 2010
The real postmodern paper generator.
I suspect that I could have done better in some of my college humanities courses if I just printed essays off of that generator. Its randomly-generated academic bullshit is frighteningly perceptive.
If you want a science-y title, the CS Paper Generator is also pretty great, but seems to be down at the moment.
posted by schmod at 8:31 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
I suspect that I could have done better in some of my college humanities courses if I just printed essays off of that generator. Its randomly-generated academic bullshit is frighteningly perceptive.
If you want a science-y title, the CS Paper Generator is also pretty great, but seems to be down at the moment.
posted by schmod at 8:31 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Homosexuality vs. Family Life Gender-Neutral Norms in the Greco-Roman World.
posted by Ideefixe at 8:38 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by Ideefixe at 8:38 PM on November 9, 2010
Applications of Stochastic Process Analysis and Optimization for Computational Fluid Dynamics Post-Processing Algorithms
posted by Diplodocus at 8:43 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by Diplodocus at 8:43 PM on November 9, 2010
"An Integration of the Visual Media Via 'Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids' Into the Elementary School Curriculum as a Teaching Aid and Vehicle to Achieve Increased Learning"
posted by holterbarbour at 9:25 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by holterbarbour at 9:25 PM on November 9, 2010
Look at the titles of pretty much any episode of Community.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:35 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:35 PM on November 9, 2010
Hold on, but most of the biology ones actually make sense. I mean, "Characteristic Hepatic and Renal Clearance Pharmacokinetics in Non-Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus" is an oddly specific course and I rather doubt there's enough work on the topic to fill a semester, but I wouldn't immediately call shenanigans if I saw it on a transcript.
I was thinking the title should be obviously absurd: self-contradictory, or flying in the face of basic science. Like, "The probabilistic method in infinite Ramsey theory: a constructivist approach" or "Mating behaviors in the Bdelloid rotifers", the catch being that Bdelloid rotifers are famous for not mating and constructivism (the idea that you haven't proved something exists until you can construct it) is incompatible with the probabilistic method (where you show that the probability of something existing is nonzero).
posted by d. z. wang at 9:38 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
I was thinking the title should be obviously absurd: self-contradictory, or flying in the face of basic science. Like, "The probabilistic method in infinite Ramsey theory: a constructivist approach" or "Mating behaviors in the Bdelloid rotifers", the catch being that Bdelloid rotifers are famous for not mating and constructivism (the idea that you haven't proved something exists until you can construct it) is incompatible with the probabilistic method (where you show that the probability of something existing is nonzero).
posted by d. z. wang at 9:38 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Gastronomical Anthropology 421: Longitudinal studies of preservation methods of Clupea harengus
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 10:25 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 10:25 PM on November 9, 2010
De Se Ambiguity: Framing the Other as Self
posted by iamkimiam at 10:45 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by iamkimiam at 10:45 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Synecdoche: Part 1
posted by iamkimiam at 10:51 PM on November 9, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by iamkimiam at 10:51 PM on November 9, 2010 [6 favorites]
Why? OP said "Bullshit welcome", not "Bullshit required." Sadly, I take pride in the fact I can stitch together really terrifying words into a sensible but mysterious whole.
Oh, fine. Step on my fun. Here are inherently contradictory/in-joke titles from select life sciences.
Comparative Physiology 384: Coelom Phylogenetics and Bauplans in Prokaryotes, Gastrotrichs, and Platyhelminthes
Molecular Microbiology 333: Gonadotropin-dependent Steroidogenesis in Economically Significant Bacterial Pathogens
Epidemiology 210: Barrier Functions of the Dermis
Epidemiology 367, cross-listed as Biostatistics 294: Survival and Hazard Analysis in Cross-sectional and Case-Control Studies
posted by gingerest at 10:57 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Oh, fine. Step on my fun. Here are inherently contradictory/in-joke titles from select life sciences.
Comparative Physiology 384: Coelom Phylogenetics and Bauplans in Prokaryotes, Gastrotrichs, and Platyhelminthes
Molecular Microbiology 333: Gonadotropin-dependent Steroidogenesis in Economically Significant Bacterial Pathogens
Epidemiology 210: Barrier Functions of the Dermis
Epidemiology 367, cross-listed as Biostatistics 294: Survival and Hazard Analysis in Cross-sectional and Case-Control Studies
posted by gingerest at 10:57 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Bitching the porpoise and sexing the gibbon: gender politics in the animal kingdom.
posted by greycap at 11:21 PM on November 9, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by greycap at 11:21 PM on November 9, 2010 [5 favorites]
Bitching the porpoise and sexing the gibbon,
Isokinetics all tangled in ribbon,
Cohomological Other-framing,
These are a few of my favorite things!
posted by gingerest at 2:50 AM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]
Isokinetics all tangled in ribbon,
Cohomological Other-framing,
These are a few of my favorite things!
posted by gingerest at 2:50 AM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]
Comparative Literature 411
Limning the Subaltern: Schizoanalysis of the Unauthor, Writing the Illisible Simulacrum
posted by Joseph Gurl at 2:52 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Limning the Subaltern: Schizoanalysis of the Unauthor, Writing the Illisible Simulacrum
posted by Joseph Gurl at 2:52 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Umberto Eco's take: The Department of Tetrapyloctomy (the art of splitting hairs four ways), classes include such wonders as Mechanical Avunculogratulation (how to build machines for greeting uncles.
In Eco's Department of Adynata or Impossiblia are such classes as Urban Planning for Gypsies, Morse Syntax, the History of Antarctic Agriculture, the History of Easter Island Painting, Contemporary Sumerian Literature, Assyrio-Babylonian Philately, the Phonetics of Silent Film.
Of course most tantalizing is the Department of Oxymoronics, classes include Tradition in Revolution, Democratic Oligarchy, Parmenidean Dynamics, and Heraclitean Statics.
posted by IvoShandor at 3:45 AM on November 10, 2010 [4 favorites]
In Eco's Department of Adynata or Impossiblia are such classes as Urban Planning for Gypsies, Morse Syntax, the History of Antarctic Agriculture, the History of Easter Island Painting, Contemporary Sumerian Literature, Assyrio-Babylonian Philately, the Phonetics of Silent Film.
Of course most tantalizing is the Department of Oxymoronics, classes include Tradition in Revolution, Democratic Oligarchy, Parmenidean Dynamics, and Heraclitean Statics.
posted by IvoShandor at 3:45 AM on November 10, 2010 [4 favorites]
Check out the History of Consciousness major at UC Santa Cruz
Here were a couple back in the day when I was there:
The History of Histories
An Introduction to God
posted by effluvia at 6:00 AM on November 10, 2010
Here were a couple back in the day when I was there:
The History of Histories
An Introduction to God
posted by effluvia at 6:00 AM on November 10, 2010
Luckily, the Internet may be able to help! See: Top Five Utterly Incomprehensible Mathematics Titles at arxiv.org
Just prepend "An Exploration of" to these titles and you're off to the races.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:44 AM on November 10, 2010
Just prepend "An Exploration of" to these titles and you're off to the races.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:44 AM on November 10, 2010
Advanced Metafilter Analysis and Heuristics
That's a great course, but unfortunately to pass it you need to pass the tough prerequisite:
Wendellian Conclusions in Modern Discourse
posted by mcstayinskool at 5:04 PM on November 10, 2010
That's a great course, but unfortunately to pass it you need to pass the tough prerequisite:
Wendellian Conclusions in Modern Discourse
posted by mcstayinskool at 5:04 PM on November 10, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 7:49 PM on November 9, 2010