Explaining the reason for existence to a 6 year old - how?

November 8, 2010 2:00 PM

Explaining evolution/the ontological argument/Catholicism's stance on the book of Genesis to a 6 year old in an age-appropriate way today: FAIL.

Today the 6 year old child I babysit asked me who were the first people to have ever existed. And that she knows everyone has a mummy and daddy, but how come the first ever people existed even though they can't have had a mummy and daddy?

The child is catholic, so I (briefly, lightly, and in no real detail) mentioned Adam and Eve, also evolution - that we weren't always humans, but evolved from other creatures over a very long time. (I know this is still not really answering her question).

I wasn't expecting it, and felt panicked and stuttery, not knowing how to respond (or if whatever I'd say might contradict the parents beliefs and cause trouble). But mainly I think my answer went over her head, she looked at me blankly for a moment and went to watch cartoons. I'd like to do better for her. How would you have dealt with this? And how do you generally deal with questions about existence/god/death with this age group?

Thanks in advance!

posted by everydayanewday to Education (20 answers total)

I probably would've told her to ask her parents. Depending on how religious they are, they might not appreciate you mixing evolution in with your explanation. Then again, I was raised Catholic, and my parents always took care after church school to explain that not everything I learned there was 100% fact. As a general rule, I'd say it's probably best to avoid "teaching" someone else's child anything regarding religion or the opposite of it if you don't know how they would react.
posted by coupdefoudre at 2:10 PM on November 8, 2010

To me, the key phrase here is "the 6 year old child I babysit." I would handle this by saying something along the lines of, "You know, people have many different ideas about that. Let's find out what your mom and dad think," and then ask them what they want their daughter to know at this stage.
posted by ocherdraco at 2:10 PM on November 8, 2010

Coup's answer is rock solid.
posted by DWRoelands at 2:11 PM on November 8, 2010

I would do it like this: "According to scientists..." And I would stay out of the theological end of it if I didn't share the parents' beliefs.
posted by Wordwoman at 2:14 PM on November 8, 2010

Just so you know, Catholicism is not exactly against the teaching of evolution. Recent popes sort of dodge the bullet here. In Humani Generis, Pius XII says that God created the human soul and maybe humans evolved. John Paul II wrote more about this in Truth Cannot Contradict Truth. Basically, Catholic doctrine says that evolution may be valid but, regardless, it is God's work.
posted by wayland at 2:17 PM on November 8, 2010

Yeah, I'm glad our exchange was mercifully short, and I'll defer to her parents from now on every time something like this comes up. Thanks everyone!
posted by everydayanewday at 2:20 PM on November 8, 2010

I would have said that some people believe in (insert strict Catholic/Christian explanation here) and other people believe in (insert very basic evolution explanation here). That's how I explained it to my own kids, anyway. That then led to questions about what I believe, which I could answer honestly coz I'm their mum.

"Ask your parents" would have been the best response, I think. It's the response I would want my babysitter to give my kids, had they asked her that question.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:20 PM on November 8, 2010

If the parents are so helicopter-ish that they can't bear the thought of their child coming across the idea of evolution, insulating their child from the real world should be their responsibility, not yours.

Not saying you should sit the kid down with The Origin of Species or anything, but there is nothing wrong with referring to the notion in sketchy terms in the way you did. If it gets back to the parents and they freak, they are welcome to find a new babysitter that fits their extremist beliefs (the Catholic church officially embraced evolution decades ago).

We're not talking about sex or politics or anything controversial. The kid asked, and you answered in what I think was a very reasoned way.

Back to the real issue at hand. I think there's a strong possibility that, even if it seemed like your answer went over her head or she stared blankly and changed the subject, that doesn't mean your answer wasn't helpful. Frankly, it's a big question, one I still ponder as an adult with a degree in anthropology, who took entire college courses on human evolution.
posted by Sara C. at 2:23 PM on November 8, 2010

Also: I did phrase it as 'catholics beleive...' and 'scientists have found that....' so I was hedging like a mofo.
posted by everydayanewday at 2:23 PM on November 8, 2010

For one thing, most Catholics are not evolution-deniers. However, even if they were, you'd have no obligation to bite your tongue on matters of scientific fact just because the parents may be anti-science.
posted by moorooka at 2:44 PM on November 8, 2010

Yeah, I don't think you needed to say "Catholics believe" and "scientists have found that" and give different explanations for each. Basically the Catholic church is just fine with evolution as the explanation to the "everyone has a mommy and a daddy" problem.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 3:00 PM on November 8, 2010

FWIW, in Catholic school I was taught evolution and that Adam and Eve (and much of the OT) was just a collection of myths to explain the world until science progressed. My children in Catholic school now, including my six year old, have been taught the same thing. I would find a non-Catholic babysitter pontificating about what Catholics believe offensive (especially as so many non-catholics believe weird stereotypes and confuse Catholics with Fundamentalist Christians), especially if they were wrong.
posted by saucysault at 3:24 PM on November 8, 2010

If the kid pushes you for more, and the parents are open to it, you could cast it as "stories."

"Sine no one was there, there are lots of good stories about how the first people came about. Some people believe that God made Adam and Eve, other people believe that living things change over time, and people came from monkeys. What do you think? Do you want to make some stories about how people came here?"

Of course, if parents are firm believers in the Biblical Truth, it's trouble, so ask them first.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:24 PM on November 8, 2010

If parents are firm believers in biblical truth it's all the more reason to tell the kid about science! Of course it may cause issues, but facts being facts you wouldn't be in the wrong.
posted by moorooka at 5:22 PM on November 8, 2010

If you're going to talk about what Catholics believe or what the Church teachers (which isn't necessarily the same thing) you should probably know what those things are first. The book of Genesis is considered metaphorical by the Church and evolution is essentially accepted as fact. It is taught in science class in Catholic schools.
posted by Justinian at 5:22 PM on November 8, 2010

Count me as another Catholic school graduate who was taught evolution in school.
posted by mmascolino at 7:25 PM on November 8, 2010

St. Augustine became a Christian because of another religion's crappy explanations of how the world works. I comment on this here and here. Augustine's influence on Catholicism was huge.

His opinion of trying to retool reality to match dogma and scripture can be summed up as, "Shut up shut up SHUT UP!!! You're Not Helping!!!!"
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:17 PM on November 8, 2010

As someone who got asked this exact same question in a 7-year-old ambush, I would like to add that, regardless of what you actually said, you did a good job. Because you answered intelligently and fairly and didn't dismiss the kid's question. You didn't cower in fear but tackled it head on in good faith (no pun intended). The teaching moment wasn't in the words but in how you presented them.

Would that every adult who is on the receiving end of a hard question from a child handled it with grace. If she remembers nothing else, she'll remember that.
posted by pineapple at 9:17 PM on November 8, 2010

I'm not great with kids, so I can't answer the "age-appropriate" bit. But I disagree with those who say you shouldn't answer the question this child asked.

Evolution is a fact—as much so as gravity. The kid asked a factual question; there's no reason you shouldn't give her a straight and honest factual answer—just like if she'd asked what the moon is made of, or why leaves change colors in the fall.

If the parents choose to delude the poor kid about this particular fact, they are doing her a disservice, and you have no obligation to be their accomplice. In fact, that makes it even more important for you to answer the question honestly, so the child hears about it from someone.
posted by ixohoxi at 6:08 AM on November 9, 2010

I worked in a science museum for many years and answered these kinds of questions regularly, and I almost never got told off for telling anyone about evolution (although of course this was a self-selected group, coming to a science museum - in Massachusetts, no less). Also, I suspect this kid has already heard some story somewhere (or maybe has already heard two conflicting stories) and is testing you out to see what you think).

I think that you can teach evolution to preschoolers, or basically anyone who can talk; however, "who was the first" is one of the hardest things to teach because people have a lot of trouble with the fact that there are no hard lines between species.

But here's how I teach evolution to small children:

Did you ever notice that you are a lot like your mom and dad and your brothers and sisters? And maybe your cousins and grandparents too? That's because you're related, and when people are related a lot of the time they look alike! Actually, everybody in the world is related to you - think about it, all the people in the world are a lot alike. I have hair, and you have hair - maybe your hair is curlier than mine or maybe mine is a different color from yours, but we both have hair on our heads. And I have ten fingers and ten toes - how many fingers and toes do you have? So actually, we're cousins - maybe we would have to go back to our great-great-great-great[etc.]-grandparents but they're back there somewhere.

There are a lot of ways people and animals are alike, too, aren't there? Like, I have legs, and so does this lizard [if for some reaons you happen to be holding a lizard]. What else does the lizard have that you and I have? Yeah, eyes! And teeth [I think lizards have teeth... it's easier when you're holding the lizard]. Do you have a tail like a lizard? No! But I bet you have bones in your back like this lizard does. Put your hand on your back - can you feel those bones?

Animals and people are alike because we're all related. This lizard is your cousin! Isn't that funny? But if you could go way way way back in time, to back before there weren't any people, or any lizards, there would be an animal there that was kind of like a lizard, and kind of like a person, and that would be *all of our* great-great-great-great[etc.]-grandmother or father - all the lizards and people and dogs and monkeys and birds and dinosaurs! But some of that animal's babies were a little more like lizards and a little less like people, and some of that animal's babies were a little more like people and a little less like lizards. Then those babies grew up and had their own babies, etc. etc. etc.

Anyway, variations on that have worked out really well for me.
posted by mskyle at 6:37 AM on November 9, 2010