"Huh, I don't remember writing that."
November 2, 2010 11:23 PM Subscribe
Creative Writing Filter: I'm looking for examples of first-person narrative texts in which an important plot-point is revealed through a change in the narrative itself.
I have a story idea I've been working on for some time. I always got hung up on the narrative because third-person just never felt right. So now I'm going to tackle it as a first-person narrative, but I think I want to do it in the format of actual journal entries (with dates and everything). A Handmaid's Tale is an influence to be sure.
One of the things I want to convey is that not only is someone within the story itself actually reading the journal entries, but they're also tampering with those entries too. I have some ideas about how to make this work, but I'm wondering if this or something very similar has been done before, because I'd like to see how other writers made it work (or not work).
The main question I guess is whether it's even possible to let the audience in on something that isn't apparent to the narrator, when the narrator is the only lens through which the audience experiences the world of the story, and the narrator is only writing for himself (he doesn't think he has an audience, like in a lot of stories, dear reader).
The easy answer is to eventually have the narrator come out and say "whoa, someone's been messing with my journal! this is my secret journal now" but that feels a bit forced. I'd like to be more subtle than that, it it's even possible.
Also, if you don't have any examples, feel free to speculate on how you might write something like this.
I have a story idea I've been working on for some time. I always got hung up on the narrative because third-person just never felt right. So now I'm going to tackle it as a first-person narrative, but I think I want to do it in the format of actual journal entries (with dates and everything). A Handmaid's Tale is an influence to be sure.
One of the things I want to convey is that not only is someone within the story itself actually reading the journal entries, but they're also tampering with those entries too. I have some ideas about how to make this work, but I'm wondering if this or something very similar has been done before, because I'd like to see how other writers made it work (or not work).
The main question I guess is whether it's even possible to let the audience in on something that isn't apparent to the narrator, when the narrator is the only lens through which the audience experiences the world of the story, and the narrator is only writing for himself (he doesn't think he has an audience, like in a lot of stories, dear reader).
The easy answer is to eventually have the narrator come out and say "whoa, someone's been messing with my journal! this is my secret journal now" but that feels a bit forced. I'd like to be more subtle than that, it it's even possible.
Also, if you don't have any examples, feel free to speculate on how you might write something like this.
There's also "Flowers for Algernon". The story is a diary kept by the protagonist, who at the beginning is a retarded man who is the subject of a scientific experiment to try to see if they can make him smarter.
Over the course of the experiment, he maintains the diary, and as his intelligence increases, the writing style changes quite dramatically.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:41 PM on November 2, 2010
Over the course of the experiment, he maintains the diary, and as his intelligence increases, the writing style changes quite dramatically.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:41 PM on November 2, 2010
Best answer: I have two short story suggestions: Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" and Amy Bloom's "The Story."
And at the beginning of Douglas Coupland's novel The Gum Thief something interesting happens with a journal entry.
(I don't want to spoil any of these in case you would like to read them for yourself, but MeMail me if you want the spoilers.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:47 PM on November 2, 2010
And at the beginning of Douglas Coupland's novel The Gum Thief something interesting happens with a journal entry.
(I don't want to spoil any of these in case you would like to read them for yourself, but MeMail me if you want the spoilers.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:47 PM on November 2, 2010
Response by poster: Oh yes, I've read "The Yellow Wallpaper" before. That's an excellent example. Thanks for reminding me about that.
Looks like I have a reading list to compile. Great suggestions so far, keep 'em coming!
posted by jnrussell at 11:51 PM on November 2, 2010
Looks like I have a reading list to compile. Great suggestions so far, keep 'em coming!
posted by jnrussell at 11:51 PM on November 2, 2010
The children's book The Music of Dolphins, by Karen Hesse, takes a similar tactic as "Flowers for Algernon".
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 12:33 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 12:33 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: You might want to check out the Buru Quartet by Pramoedya, particularly because of the twist in the last volume.
I wrote my M.A. thesis on a novel in Hindi called Banbhatta ki Atmakatha by Hazariprasad Dwivedi. It was presented as the autobiography of Bana, the 7th century Sanskrit writer, as found and translated by an Austrian woman, and presented to the reader by a pseudonym of the actual writer (i.e., Dwivedi). Basically, over the course of the novel, and through footnotes and an epilogue, the authority of the autobiography is undermined to reveal that it was (probably) written by the Austrian woman herself.
That's actually kind of right up your alley, but it's not translated (and until I find the time and/or faith that it's possible, it probably won't be).
posted by goodglovin77 at 12:54 AM on November 3, 2010
I wrote my M.A. thesis on a novel in Hindi called Banbhatta ki Atmakatha by Hazariprasad Dwivedi. It was presented as the autobiography of Bana, the 7th century Sanskrit writer, as found and translated by an Austrian woman, and presented to the reader by a pseudonym of the actual writer (i.e., Dwivedi). Basically, over the course of the novel, and through footnotes and an epilogue, the authority of the autobiography is undermined to reveal that it was (probably) written by the Austrian woman herself.
That's actually kind of right up your alley, but it's not translated (and until I find the time and/or faith that it's possible, it probably won't be).
posted by goodglovin77 at 12:54 AM on November 3, 2010
Stephen King's "The End of the Whole Mess" from the "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" collection does something similar to "Flowers for Algernon," and the stylistic changes hint at the story's secret, along the lines of what you want.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:54 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:54 AM on November 3, 2010
The order in which you present the journal entries to the reader (or repeat lines, phrases, adjectives) could be a way to reveal. If your character is the type of journal writer that doesn't often go back and re-read what they wrote, but suddenly has a compelling need to, then they could revisit a particularly relevant entry only to find that the words contained there were not what they were expecting. Oh the horror! Look into gaslighting. This could potentially be that.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:11 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by iamkimiam at 1:11 AM on November 3, 2010
The movie Memento works like this, btw. Note the interleaving of the black and white scenes (moving forward thru time) with the color ones (moving backward thru time). This gives the audience and non-brain damaged characters an edge that the protagonist doesn't have.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:12 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by iamkimiam at 1:12 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: Pale Fire by Nabokov plays in similar ways. The novel consists of an epic poem and a commentary on the poem, where the reader slowly realizes that the commentator is biased, has his own agenda to advance, and is often spouting subtle madness and lies.
posted by yoz420 at 2:21 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by yoz420 at 2:21 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Not a diary, but check out The Voyeur by Robbe Grillet. It has an interesting narrative set up that you realize has been manipulated later in the book.
posted by milarepa at 2:43 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by milarepa at 2:43 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: You might want to take a look at Surfacing by Margaret Atwood. Without giving too much away, it's a first-person narrative which changes dramatically in tone, style and content in relation to the main character's mental state.
It's also a really good novel.
posted by Ted Maul at 2:59 AM on November 3, 2010
It's also a really good novel.
posted by Ted Maul at 2:59 AM on November 3, 2010
I remember Stephen King's "Christine" has three parts - The first and last are first-person while the middle is omnipotent. Or it could be the other way around. It has been years since I read it but change in narration stuck with me.
posted by Brodiggitty at 3:59 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by Brodiggitty at 3:59 AM on November 3, 2010
It's almost an AskMe cliché to recommend Gene Wolfe, but his Book of the Short Sun, a trilogy which is itself a sequel to his Book of the Long Sun, may well be relevant here. The character Horn, whose role as the primary narrator is taken up for part of the story by his son Hoof, essentially merges with another major character in the books, and it's often unclear whether he is one of the two characters under a delusion that he is the other, or whether he is genuinely an amalgam of the two. Wolfe does nothing to make things easy for the reader; much of his writing is characterised by narrators who are prone to inconsistency, distortion and omission.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 4:01 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 4:01 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: This is perhaps not precisely what you asked for but it has so many resonances with your "Huh. I don't remember writing that" title that you may find it interesting. It's a book called "The Affirmation" by one of my favourite reality-troubling authors, Christopher Priest. Here, it isn't that someone else is messing with the text of a diary/autobiography it's more like the writer himself is... and doesn't really realise it. It's quite the head game and thoroughly entertaining if you like that kind of thing. Certainly an interesting take on the whole "Is what I've written what really happened?" idea.
posted by Decani at 4:43 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Decani at 4:43 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Notes on a Scandal" might fit the bill.
posted by mothershock at 5:45 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by mothershock at 5:45 AM on November 3, 2010
Somewhat similar is a book called My Little Blue Dress by Bruno Maddox, which presents itself as the memoirs of a 100 year old woman, but SPOILER after a few chapters notes from the author pop up, and its revealed Bruno Maddox the author is trying to compose this fake memoir in one night.
posted by cottoncandybeard at 6:22 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by cottoncandybeard at 6:22 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: I love this idea.
In The Women in White, (spoilers) Marion Halcombe writes in her diary about her growing hatred for the monstrous Count Fosco and how she intends to find out his secret... only for the last entry to be written by Fosco himself, revealing that he's read the same thing and Marion is horribly ill!! It is a wonderful, terrifying moment.
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 6:47 AM on November 3, 2010
In The Women in White, (spoilers) Marion Halcombe writes in her diary about her growing hatred for the monstrous Count Fosco and how she intends to find out his secret... only for the last entry to be written by Fosco himself, revealing that he's read the same thing and Marion is horribly ill!! It is a wonderful, terrifying moment.
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 6:47 AM on November 3, 2010
Response by poster: Wonderful responses, everyone! I'm tempted to make every single one of these a "best answer." Some seriously good examples in here, exactly what I needed.
@Decani: "The Affirmation" sounds exactly like what I'm looking for.
@low_horrible_immoral: "The Women in White" also sounds pretty great, especially the ending.
@goodlovin77: if you ever do end up translating that, please please please let me know, it sounds really amazing.
Also, I've read some Gene Wolfe (just the Shadow & Claw volume) and his abilities with unreliable narration are impressive. Definitely another inspiration for me.
I think I'll tag this question as answered by the end of the day, but in the meantime feel free to keep suggesting stuff.
Also, I want to just highlight how classy this community is. I should have mentioned that keeping things spoiler free would be nice, but everyone pretty much did that any way (or at least added a spoiler warning before pushing on). Top notch! I think Metafilter may be the classiest internet community I've had the privilege of joining.
posted by jnrussell at 7:39 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
@Decani: "The Affirmation" sounds exactly like what I'm looking for.
@low_horrible_immoral: "The Women in White" also sounds pretty great, especially the ending.
@goodlovin77: if you ever do end up translating that, please please please let me know, it sounds really amazing.
Also, I've read some Gene Wolfe (just the Shadow & Claw volume) and his abilities with unreliable narration are impressive. Definitely another inspiration for me.
I think I'll tag this question as answered by the end of the day, but in the meantime feel free to keep suggesting stuff.
Also, I want to just highlight how classy this community is. I should have mentioned that keeping things spoiler free would be nice, but everyone pretty much did that any way (or at least added a spoiler warning before pushing on). Top notch! I think Metafilter may be the classiest internet community I've had the privilege of joining.
posted by jnrussell at 7:39 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
House of Leaves is a really complex example. You might try The Boy Detective Fails. The novel The Prestige had a (pretty good) film made from it, but the novel is way better.
posted by juniperesque at 7:42 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by juniperesque at 7:42 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: Check out Time's Arrow by Martin Amis. The narrative in general is complex and amazing, but the narrator travels one way in time as the book travels another, which leads to a quite a reveal. It's pretty abstract, but could be helpful. Second Pale Fire, also.
posted by libertypie at 8:10 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by libertypie at 8:10 AM on November 3, 2010
Douglas Coupland's "Girlfriend in a Coma" has several very significant switches in both who is narrating and the tense/perspective in which they do it.
posted by 256 at 8:31 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by 256 at 8:31 AM on November 3, 2010
Louise Erdrich, Shadow Tag.
Patry Francis, The Liar's Diary.
posted by BibiRose at 8:31 AM on November 3, 2010
Patry Francis, The Liar's Diary.
posted by BibiRose at 8:31 AM on November 3, 2010
Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury uses a lot of first person narrative from a range of personalities. Nothing really about tampering, but as an example of varying styles for varying characters, its pretty much the archetype. Also includes time shifts are part of the unreliable narrator trope.
posted by Billiken at 8:47 AM on November 3, 2010
posted by Billiken at 8:47 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: One of the things I want to convey is that not only is someone within the story itself actually reading the journal entries, but they're also tampering with those entries too.
This can be broken down into two parts:
1) person x is reading the journal entries
2) person x is tampering with those entries
The problem is that 1 & 2 are at odds with each other in terms of how you might show a reader that this is going on. Let me sketch an example.
If you want to show 1, a simple way would be to have an entry where the narrator describes x acting in a way which could only be explained by their having seekrit knowledge from the journal. BUT if x is doing 2 and is fastidious about it, they would simply delete any such mention, in effect remaking the entire journal into their version of events.
This leaves you with making x be sloppy about executing 2, but you tread a fine line with subtlety and how oblivious the journal writer needs to be to not notice this. If you can come up with an excuse with why the journal writer might never reread an entry once they've made it, then you have more leeway here.
What iamkimiam suggests sounds like a good approach.
This all gives me the vague notion of wanting to tell a short story through a wikipedia edit war where you'd have to dig through the page revision history to find out what's going on. Shame I'm crap at fiction. Someone should get on that.
posted by juv3nal at 10:38 AM on November 3, 2010
This can be broken down into two parts:
1) person x is reading the journal entries
2) person x is tampering with those entries
The problem is that 1 & 2 are at odds with each other in terms of how you might show a reader that this is going on. Let me sketch an example.
If you want to show 1, a simple way would be to have an entry where the narrator describes x acting in a way which could only be explained by their having seekrit knowledge from the journal. BUT if x is doing 2 and is fastidious about it, they would simply delete any such mention, in effect remaking the entire journal into their version of events.
This leaves you with making x be sloppy about executing 2, but you tread a fine line with subtlety and how oblivious the journal writer needs to be to not notice this. If you can come up with an excuse with why the journal writer might never reread an entry once they've made it, then you have more leeway here.
What iamkimiam suggests sounds like a good approach.
This all gives me the vague notion of wanting to tell a short story through a wikipedia edit war where you'd have to dig through the page revision history to find out what's going on. Shame I'm crap at fiction. Someone should get on that.
posted by juv3nal at 10:38 AM on November 3, 2010
This is a little out-of-left-field, but this YA Australian book, Letter from the Inside (DO NOT read the summary unless you want to be spoiled inelegantly), fits your description. In it, two girls correspond as penpals, one from inside a juvenile detention facility, the other a lonely girl outside. Both girls write from their perspective, but there are added layers of who's reading the letters, the truth of the letters, and the wonderfully memorable, chilling story.
posted by quadrilaterals at 11:23 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by quadrilaterals at 11:23 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: juv3nal and iamkimiam, you both have some interesting suggestions. They are possibly complicated by the fact that the reason my journalist is writing things down is so he can remember them, and the person reading the journal wants to see what he can remember, and may make edits (or whole erasures) to keep the journalist from figuring some stuff out.
The whole premise of the story is that of a person who is being manipulated through both psychic and chemical means, in such a way that reality and memory are heavily distorted and the journalist really has no sense of this. I'd like to somehow signify this for the viewer without the main character catching on at first, but it seems like that would require my hero to be a bit of a dunce. I may have to opt for alternating journal entires with third-person narrative, or some really obvious reveal through journal writing that could end up being really hamfisted.
That being said, it's clear I have A LOT of reading to do first.
posted by jnrussell at 11:53 AM on November 3, 2010
The whole premise of the story is that of a person who is being manipulated through both psychic and chemical means, in such a way that reality and memory are heavily distorted and the journalist really has no sense of this. I'd like to somehow signify this for the viewer without the main character catching on at first, but it seems like that would require my hero to be a bit of a dunce. I may have to opt for alternating journal entires with third-person narrative, or some really obvious reveal through journal writing that could end up being really hamfisted.
That being said, it's clear I have A LOT of reading to do first.
posted by jnrussell at 11:53 AM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: Junichiro Tanizaki's The Key is like this, and was eventually adapted into a movie. A husband and his wife keep diaries and the entries get weird after a while as each realizes the other might be reading.
posted by ifjuly at 1:19 PM on November 3, 2010
posted by ifjuly at 1:19 PM on November 3, 2010
Also, not quite the same but similar in principle, Nabokov's classic Pale Fire (so good!).
posted by ifjuly at 1:21 PM on November 3, 2010
posted by ifjuly at 1:21 PM on November 3, 2010
Response by poster: Ok, Pale Fire is definitely on my list now. Incidentally, it will be my first Nabokov reading (I know, I'm very uncultured, I'm sorry).
posted by jnrussell at 1:27 PM on November 3, 2010
posted by jnrussell at 1:27 PM on November 3, 2010
Best answer: juv3nal and iamkimiam, you both have some interesting suggestions. They are possibly complicated by the fact that the reason my journalist is writing things down is so he can remember them, and the person reading the journal wants to see what he can remember, and may make edits (or whole erasures) to keep the journalist from figuring some stuff out.
On reflection, this seems like it could be a workable "out" for you. If the journalist has problems remembering things, then perhaps the interloper can restrict their edits to removing items and the journalist won't be able to remember clearly whether they ever wrote the item down? Then your reveal can be wrought out of the journalist perhaps beginning to think "I would have sworn I wrote down x, but going back, it's not there" culminating in perhaps a tricksy device where the journalist uses odd punctuation or capitalization to create some kind of hash code so they can tell if something's been removed.
posted by juv3nal at 5:32 PM on November 3, 2010
On reflection, this seems like it could be a workable "out" for you. If the journalist has problems remembering things, then perhaps the interloper can restrict their edits to removing items and the journalist won't be able to remember clearly whether they ever wrote the item down? Then your reveal can be wrought out of the journalist perhaps beginning to think "I would have sworn I wrote down x, but going back, it's not there" culminating in perhaps a tricksy device where the journalist uses odd punctuation or capitalization to create some kind of hash code so they can tell if something's been removed.
posted by juv3nal at 5:32 PM on November 3, 2010
Response by poster: Holy crap, juv3nal, that's really clever...I may end up doing that.
If this thing ever comes out publicly, I'm going to have to remember to acknowledge all the fine MeFites who helped me out on this.
posted by jnrussell at 6:29 PM on November 3, 2010
If this thing ever comes out publicly, I'm going to have to remember to acknowledge all the fine MeFites who helped me out on this.
posted by jnrussell at 6:29 PM on November 3, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
Also, something happens at the end, which is partially indicated by a change in how the narration is handled.
Larry Niven also did something a bit like this in "Protector". Most of the book is third person, but it switches to first person at the very end, for a reason that makes excellent sense, but which also strongly emphasizes a major plot point.
If you want spoilers, send me MeMail.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:38 PM on November 2, 2010