How to help when you're so faraway
November 2, 2010 10:58 AM Subscribe
Dual FamilyFilter: helping Mom cope with upcoming change in residence (Greenville, SC) and helping her cope as best I can though I am so faraway.
posted by Kitteh to grab bag (5 answers total)
To get the technical bits out of the way, my stepdad--who raised my sis and I more than my real dad--is afflicted with Parkinson's. When they purchased their current home nearly 10 years ago, he wasn't diagnosed then and was still working. It's a two-story house; quaint, cute, tidy little backyard. The kind of place my mom always wanted. (We pretty much did nothing but rent when I was a kid.) But now, years later, my stepdad isn't getting better, no longer works, and the disease has gotten to the point where his balance is shaky at best. My mom told me they will have to move out of the house soon because the stairs are a dangerous dangerous thing for him. She's resigned herself to living out the rest of their lives in an apartment, but I feel fairly sure that somewhere in Greenville, they can find a one-level townhome or such like.
That's the first part of my question. Can anyone recommend websites or anything where they can start looking for something nice? A small backyard is preferred because they have a dog and the dog's energy and love really help my stepdad when he feels low. They currently live in Simpsonville, but my sister and her family want them to move closer to their part of town, Taylors (a suburb of Greenville). My stepdad is sort of Internet-savvy but my mom not at all.
Second, how do I cope with my mom being so unhappy right now? She's a strong lady most of the time, solid in her Catholic faith, but she's been dealt some crappy cards the past couple of weeks. (My grandmother--her mother-- undergoing a series of strokes, the family cat going blind, and a recent nasty fall my stepdad suffered.) I live very faraway---Canada, due to marrying an amazing Canadian---and rarely get to home as often as I'd like. I manage about a couple of times a year. My mom and I talk on the phone all the time, but lately I feel so helpless. I try to be as helpful as I can, but being in another country, it feels like I am not doing much.
Help in either quarter would be greatly appreciated.