healthy relationship unsupportive parents
October 27, 2010 7:12 PM Subscribe
I still want my parents' approval and support, but that's just not going to happen. How do you maintain your relationship with your unsupportive parents?
posted by anonymous to human relations (32 answers total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a 29 year old single female living a couple hundred miles from my parents. I seem to be stuck in a pattern of desiring emotional support/approval from my parents that they just can't give. My parents are unemotional people; when I tell them about issues I'm facing, they are likely to respond with pragmatic solutions or worst case scenarios when what I want is their unconditional support and affection. They have very little capacity to be supportive and loving in this way. I have tried to address this with them, which makes my mom extremely defensive and my dad claim that he's not an emotional person and is unable to do more. I think I've generally compensated for this support and affection by seeking it from my boyfriends, but (a) I don't think that's healthy and (b) I'm single now and finding that I really want this support from my parents. How can I straddle the disconnect between what I want and the fact that I'll never get it from them? How can I move past wanting my parents' approval and support? How do you maintain a healthy relationship with your unsupportive parents?
A couple other notes: I am currently in therapy dealing with these and other self-esteem issues. Also, these feelings seem to be exacerbated now because of my sister's upcoming wedding, which is taking up all of my parents' time and making me feel invisible.