I hate Halloween theme parties.

October 18, 2010 1:44 PM

A dear friend is throwing a Halloween party. The theme is "Cocktails," as in "dress up as a cocktail/liquor/beer/your alcohol of choice." I hate the theme, but I am being forced to partake.

Several friends are going the punny route with this. Some are going the very literal route. Bloody Marys, Old Fashioneds, Shirley Temples, and god help me, Red-Headed Sluts. You get the idea.

I'd like the costume to be clever and minimalist, consisting mainly of cheap accessories that I can ditch easily. (For example, someone suggested I procure an old pair of boxing gloves, write "Bacardi" on them, and be Rum Punch. Something like this would work.) I do not want to dress up as Manhattan, or a wild turkey, or Jose Cuervo.

I am female. (though not opposed to wearing a fake moustache. In fact, they are encouraged.)

Help?

posted by blackcatcuriouser to society & culture (66 answers total)

Dress as a shrimp with some cocktail sauce.

You're shrimp cocktail.
posted by inturnaround at 1:47 PM on October 18, 2010 [5 favorites]

Wear black, with a cream-colored hat, and be Guinness.
posted by epj at 1:47 PM on October 18, 2010 [11 favorites]

Wear a men's tie with your name on it, and tell people you're a Mai Tai.
posted by cyndigo at 1:48 PM on October 18, 2010 [16 favorites]

Shirley Temple.
posted by musofire at 1:48 PM on October 18, 2010

vesper lynd, from james bond
posted by lizbunny at 1:49 PM on October 18, 2010

Oops, sorry, should have read more carefully!
posted by musofire at 1:49 PM on October 18, 2010

- Work clothes and couple of screwdrivers to be a Screwdriver?
- Plaid skirt, optional horrible brogue for Scotch?
- Cheap costume pilot hat (and possible moustache, if you really want) and be an Aviator?

Truly minimalist would be to show up only in a towel and call yourself a Sex on the Beach, but that sounds chilly.
posted by ldthomps at 1:49 PM on October 18, 2010

attach a small motorcycle to the side of your shirt/dress and go as a sidecar.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:49 PM on October 18, 2010 [5 favorites]

Wear your normal clothes, but carry around some keys. When asked about your costume, reply "nothing, I'm driving."
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:51 PM on October 18, 2010 [20 favorites]

Walk around with a scowl all night. When asked what you are, snap, "I'm bitters!"
posted by julthumbscrew at 1:51 PM on October 18, 2010 [16 favorites]

Shot.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:51 PM on October 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

Get a large amount of cotton wool, stick it in your belly button (perhaps you have a hole in your shirt or something to make it visible), and you are a Fuzzy Navel.

(Although the Mai Tai suggestion was frigging awesome)
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 1:51 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

White Russian.
posted by cmiller at 1:52 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

Be a minibar!

Carry little bottles of liquor on a necklace or in a bag, and let people take them, but charge them $10 or something crazy.
posted by the young rope-rider at 1:52 PM on October 18, 2010 [17 favorites]

Acquire a Singapore flag and use it to put your arm in a sling.
posted by permafrost at 1:53 PM on October 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

Where a shirt with Che on it and go as a Cuba Libre. Bonus if you can find something that approximates a lime to wear as a hat.
posted by jquinby at 1:54 PM on October 18, 2010

some ideas here in a forum

Really minimal:

fuzzy navel - tape a peach colored ball (you know those arts and crafts puff ball things) to your navel (over your shirt, i guess).

Highball: get a headband and some sort of stiff wire (metal coat hanger?) and attach a styrofoam ball.

Pink Lady - dress in all pink
posted by KogeLiz at 1:54 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dress up like this guy (carry a mike?) but wearing an 'I ❤ NY' t-shirt. Long Island Iced Tea.
posted by Paragon at 1:56 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

I don't think Manhattan is necessarily too far-out. Just dress in some sort of suitably chic little black dress and wear a hat that looks kinda like the Chrysler or Empire State Building (paper is perfectly fine -- just photocopy four pictures of the CB and tape them together in a pyramid). Take it off, and wooo! No more Halloween.

Tape a bunch of cards to yourself, and you're gin!

I'd think you could just throw a shawl and ruffled apron on and be an Old-Fashioned.

Wear an outfit that is impossible to remove and then tell people you're a Fuzzy Navel and they'll just have to trust you on it :P

I hope someone comes dressed as Hoegaarden.
posted by Madamina at 1:56 PM on October 18, 2010

You could wear all chartreuse-colored clothing to be Chartreuse.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:56 PM on October 18, 2010

Carry a small, yellow, violin-like instrument. You're Lemoncello.
posted by bondcliff at 1:56 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Or you could dress up in a pair of bunny ears and a cotton tail and just go around humping the wall all night. You're a Harvey Wallbanger.
posted by bondcliff at 1:58 PM on October 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

Tom Collins. Comfy clothes with a "HELLO, my name is..." sticker and you're all set.
posted by stefanie at 2:03 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sorry, follow-up. There is a drink called a Zombie (which also lets you attend other parties later on in the evening). Are you of an appropriate race to be a Black Russian (or a White Russian, for that matter)?

Please, please, please be from Singapore. Then you can put your arm in a sling and be a Singapore Sling.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 2:03 PM on October 18, 2010

White Russian.

Or Black Russian, depending on your complexion. All you need is a fur hat and a pretend accent.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:04 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

A cheap crown and go as the "King of Beers"
A fedora and suitcoat = Godfather(scotch+amaretto) ; or a nice cocktail dress = Godmother (vodka+amaretto)
posted by jlkr at 2:05 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dress like your grandma = Old Fashioned
Dress like the Love Shack video = B-52
Glue two extra fingers on each hand = Seven & Seven
posted by bgrebs at 2:05 PM on October 18, 2010

Paint the left side of your body very dark; paint the right side a bit lighter. You're a Black and Tan. (Modify instructions as needed for your complexion)
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:08 PM on October 18, 2010

You could be Absinthe by dressing as a Green Fairy.

From Wikipedia: Absinthe traditionally has a natural green color but can also be colorless. It is commonly referred to in historical literature as la fée verte (the Green Fairy).
posted by Kafkaesque at 2:10 PM on October 18, 2010 [6 favorites]

Put this cross around your neck, carry a copy of the Book of Confessions and you're a Presbyterian Cocktail.
posted by crush-onastick at 2:10 PM on October 18, 2010

Dress like a golfer, say you're John Daly.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 2:11 PM on October 18, 2010

Carry a crab apple. You're an apple-teeny.

Wear running shoes, and be a chaser.

If you are Caucasian, complain a lot and spray everyone with a water bottle. You are a White Whine Spritzer.
posted by MexicanYenta at 2:14 PM on October 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

Do you attend synagogue? Tape a sprig of wintergreen under your nose and go as (wait for it)

Mint Jew Lip.
posted by The White Hat at 2:15 PM on October 18, 2010 [5 favorites]

These should be pretty easy to do, especially with a quick visit to a Halloween store:

Salty Dog
Greyhound
Moscow Mule (donkey ears and a fur coat, perhaps?)
B-52 (Beehive wig and some retro clothes)
posted by hydrophonic at 2:17 PM on October 18, 2010

Find a pink satin jacket (or button down shirt tied at the waist, which would be easier to find) at a thrift store, pair with pedal pushers and be a pink lady.
posted by smirkette at 2:17 PM on October 18, 2010

Dirty Girl Scout -- if any hallowe'en costume store carries a female scout uniform, it's probably slutty enough.

Sex on the Beach -- wear a bathing suit and carry a string of condoms.

Captain Morgan -- modify any generic pirate costume.

Or refuse to dress up, or play along, or be amused. Insult people. Bam, you're a bottle of Bitch wine.
posted by motsque at 2:19 PM on October 18, 2010

Carry mini American flags and toy hatchets in your pockets. Add granny glasses. You're Carrie Nation.
posted by MonkeyToes at 2:23 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Mind Eraser. Tape a gum eraser to your forehead.
Rum Runner. Carry around a bottle of rum (or attach a picture of a bottle to your shirt) and sprint around periodically.
Screaming Orgasm. Hmm... maybe we shouldn't go there.
posted by rachaelfaith at 2:25 PM on October 18, 2010

Be a martini olive!

I did this once and it was super easy... olive green dress, olive green tights, and a little red hat (I bought a red straw hat and cut off the brim so it was just the round head part). Then for the prop that you can ditch easily... create a giant toothpick from a long cardboard tube or from a roll of brown kraft paper.

Done!
posted by dayintoday at 2:27 PM on October 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

Or you could wear all black and pin three orange ribbons across you to become a Three Stripes Cocktail. Or you could dress all in grey, ala the Wendy's Soviet Fashion Show, and be a Soviet cocktail! Or wear red shoes, orange clothes and a sombrero (or some sort of fruit slice on your head) to be a Tequila Sunrise.
posted by crush-onastick at 2:27 PM on October 18, 2010

Dress in all white. Carry a pineapple. Put paper umbrellas in your hair. Wear a necklace made of fake cherries, or apply a fake tattoo of a cherry. You're a virgin pina colada.

Get a Dr Pepper t-shirt, and then glue some fake flames around the logo = Flaming Dr Pepper.

Dress all in madras plaid, and be a Madras?
posted by pineapple at 2:32 PM on October 18, 2010

If you're going as a tropical drink, be sure and carry a paper parasol like this
posted by np312 at 2:33 PM on October 18, 2010

Moonlight Cocktail
bloody mary
whisky sour
scotch & soda - tartan wear and a bottle of soda
boilermaker - worker's coverall and a Union ID badge for Boilermaker's & Steamfitter's Local 666
Champagne cocktail - wear yellow, pin on lots of clear balloons.
posted by theora55 at 2:49 PM on October 18, 2010

I think many people may have missed this comment in the question: "I'd like the costume to be clever and minimalist, consisting mainly of cheap accessories that I can ditch easily."

My suggestion would be to either get some feathers or dildos and make yourself either a literal cock's tail (feathers) or a cock tail (string of dildos). Cheap laugh, throwaway gag, and you can ditch it whenever you like.
posted by twirlypen at 3:01 PM on October 18, 2010

Dress up like Tom Cruise from Cocktail & try and grab all the other bottles
posted by Dmenet at 3:01 PM on October 18, 2010

Amending theora55's suggestion, you could just wear a Purdue sweatshirt and go as a boilermaker.
posted by bolognius maximus at 3:04 PM on October 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

Make fun of the party the whole night-- go as a "mocktail."
posted by TrarNoir at 3:05 PM on October 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

I'd like the costume to be clever and minimalist, consisting mainly of cheap accessories that I can ditch easily.

Get one of those red Solo cups with the write-on label, and write PIMM on it = Pimm's Cup
Wear all green, except for a pair of Mickey Mouse ears = Mickey's
Get a bunch of lighters that don't work = Sparks
posted by 23skidoo at 3:11 PM on October 18, 2010

Wear a cock tail feather hair accessory.
posted by matsho at 3:13 PM on October 18, 2010

Hairspray your hair in a windblown look, wear makeup, carry around the magazine and be a Cosmopolitan.
posted by misha at 3:15 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Go as Dr. Frankenstein (white lab coat, gloves, the like) and be a Corpse Reviver. You can choose to be a Corpse Reviver #1 or a #2 with roman numerals or maybe writing on the back like on a sports jersey.
posted by Schismatic at 3:15 PM on October 18, 2010

Whine cooler?
posted by theora55 at 3:16 PM on October 18, 2010

Go as a Kamikaze. Take a white bandana and draw the rising sun logo on it. That's enough to get by even without the other things you could do (japanese flag, flight suit, etc)
posted by chrisamiller at 3:24 PM on October 18, 2010

Oh, one more:

White doctor's lab coat + eye chart = MD 20/20
posted by 23skidoo at 3:25 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Go as Captain Morgan, easy!
posted by nmc1980 at 3:30 PM on October 18, 2010

Lemon Drop - Carry around a lemon and when someone asks what you are, just drop it on the floor. I hate costume themed parties too so I can understand your pain.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:55 PM on October 18, 2010

Wear pink with a hat with cherries on it and go as a Cosmo.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:00 PM on October 18, 2010

Wear one of those "Hello, my name is" tags with Natasha on it and be a white/black russian. Of course that'd only work if you happen to be white or black.
posted by TooFewShoes at 4:12 PM on October 18, 2010

Take any of the mixed-drink ideas, add a circle pin or some True Love Waits schwag, and you're a virgin cocktail.
posted by expialidocious at 4:12 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Tape a regular 6-sided die around each of your ring fingers. You're Paradise!

Wear a huge, bad wig and/or false mustache/beard. Make yourself a Hairy Virgin!

Carry around a stuffed or other figurine of a goat, with a straw taped to it like it's sticking out of the goat. You're the Chupacabra!

Carry a red towel/blanket (and use the fake stache if you wish) to transform yourself into a Matador.

Wear a Hitler mustache and call yourself the One-Balled Dictator!!

Carry a spray bottle and be a spritzer.

Carry a baby doll and smudge your face and be a Dirty White Mother.

Carry a shoe with a large needle in it and be a cobbler.

That's all I've got... I'd go with the matador, for easy non-costume partying, or the one-balled dictator, for awesomeness.
posted by Night_owl at 4:24 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Make a suit out of brown paper bags and tell people you're going as a 40-ounce malt liquor.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:28 PM on October 18, 2010

Be a martini olive!

Damn you, dayintoday. Damn you all to hell for saying it first!
posted by IAmBroom at 4:41 PM on October 18, 2010

Virgin Mary.
posted by lois1950 at 5:02 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

There are a tonne of good ideas, but the best one imo that is really easy to do but not half-assed (you want to at least appear like you're making an effort, to appease the host) is lois1950's Virgin Mary suggestion--just wear some sheets (blue and white, ideally) and perhaps a rosary around your neck. Carry around a baby jesus (or perhaps a bottle of your favourite alcohol wrapped in a baby blanket) and you're good to go.
posted by 1000monkeys at 6:24 PM on October 18, 2010

>>Screaming Orgasm. Hmm... maybe we shouldn't go there.

Now, see, there's where I disagree. I think you could have a *GREAT* deal of fun having a "When Harry Met Sally" moment every time anyone asked you where your costume was. Would not require props or silly clothes.
posted by Ys at 7:56 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

Dress up nicely, go as yourself and if anyone asks say you're an American Beauty. :-)
posted by Decani at 4:59 AM on October 19, 2010 [1 favorite]