Fuck you, Michelle Malkin, for making me ask this question.
October 5, 2010 8:24 PM Subscribe
How do I explain bigotry to kids?
One of the kids I have been tutoring for a couple of years (and am very fond of), let's call her Zooey, is a smart fifth-grader who was born in the States to Mexican parents and has been intensely interested in immigration issues for as long as I can recall – she almost always chooses that topic when she has to decide what to read or write about. Great! I'm an immigrant as well, and it's always fun to share our respective experiences.
Last week, Zooey had to write a report on a news article, and not surprisingly she had printed an article on immigration. We began to work on highlighting essential phrases, but by the third paragraph there was no doubt that something was off with the article. All of the highlighted sentences seemed upsetting, or at best racist nonsense shameful to see in print, endorsed by a major news outlet. So I checked the byline: sure enough, Michelle Malkin. At this point, I had given up on trying (the article was a bit above Zooey's comprehension level anyway), and told her that I'd help her pick a better news article for the assignment. However, Zooey is a bright kid and did not fail to notice my expression, which prompted a number of questions from her, something that I always encourage.
She asked what's wrong with the article, and I told her that it doesn't represent a fair viewpoint, and that the author is fairly well-known for being a bigot with strong anti-immigration sentiments. This was–of course–followed by questions of the "But why?" sort, and, when I tried to explain that some people just feel this way because they feel threatened/nationalistic/xenophobic (in "child-friendlier" terms), Zooey and her (Asian) friend commented that Ms. Malkin herself is obviously an immigrant or at least her parents must be, since she looked Asian in the photo next to the article.
I probably didn't handle this the right way as I had a difficult time changing the topic for the remainder of our hour together. At one point, the discussion led to us looking up "Bigotry" in a children's dictionary :-(
Here's the thing: Zooey seems marginally aware that someone might not like her or her family because of where they came from–they read plenty about MLK and related topics, after all–but she doesn't quite understand why that may be.
Since the kids I tutor are children of refugees (who typically do not speak English well and cannot help them with schoolwork) of all ethnicities, this is bound to come up again sooner or later. In fact, Zooey kept the photo part next to the article, and I noticed her and her friend–who took part in our discussion–talking about Malkin after tutoring.
In retrospect, how should I have handled this? What do I say the next time she brings in an article by a polemicist? What the hell are the child friendly terms for "xenophobic" and "bigot", and how should I answer "But why" when the person expressing anti-immigrant views appears to be an immigrant herself, i.e. white supremacy delusions can't possibly account for it?
Lastly, but most importantly, if this were your child, would you prefer that the topic wasn't discussed at all? I don't have a lot of contact with Zooey's mother, and it's certainly a subject I would not feel comfortable bringing up with her.
One of the kids I have been tutoring for a couple of years (and am very fond of), let's call her Zooey, is a smart fifth-grader who was born in the States to Mexican parents and has been intensely interested in immigration issues for as long as I can recall – she almost always chooses that topic when she has to decide what to read or write about. Great! I'm an immigrant as well, and it's always fun to share our respective experiences.
Last week, Zooey had to write a report on a news article, and not surprisingly she had printed an article on immigration. We began to work on highlighting essential phrases, but by the third paragraph there was no doubt that something was off with the article. All of the highlighted sentences seemed upsetting, or at best racist nonsense shameful to see in print, endorsed by a major news outlet. So I checked the byline: sure enough, Michelle Malkin. At this point, I had given up on trying (the article was a bit above Zooey's comprehension level anyway), and told her that I'd help her pick a better news article for the assignment. However, Zooey is a bright kid and did not fail to notice my expression, which prompted a number of questions from her, something that I always encourage.
She asked what's wrong with the article, and I told her that it doesn't represent a fair viewpoint, and that the author is fairly well-known for being a bigot with strong anti-immigration sentiments. This was–of course–followed by questions of the "But why?" sort, and, when I tried to explain that some people just feel this way because they feel threatened/nationalistic/xenophobic (in "child-friendlier" terms), Zooey and her (Asian) friend commented that Ms. Malkin herself is obviously an immigrant or at least her parents must be, since she looked Asian in the photo next to the article.
I probably didn't handle this the right way as I had a difficult time changing the topic for the remainder of our hour together. At one point, the discussion led to us looking up "Bigotry" in a children's dictionary :-(
Here's the thing: Zooey seems marginally aware that someone might not like her or her family because of where they came from–they read plenty about MLK and related topics, after all–but she doesn't quite understand why that may be.
Since the kids I tutor are children of refugees (who typically do not speak English well and cannot help them with schoolwork) of all ethnicities, this is bound to come up again sooner or later. In fact, Zooey kept the photo part next to the article, and I noticed her and her friend–who took part in our discussion–talking about Malkin after tutoring.
In retrospect, how should I have handled this? What do I say the next time she brings in an article by a polemicist? What the hell are the child friendly terms for "xenophobic" and "bigot", and how should I answer "But why" when the person expressing anti-immigrant views appears to be an immigrant herself, i.e. white supremacy delusions can't possibly account for it?
Lastly, but most importantly, if this were your child, would you prefer that the topic wasn't discussed at all? I don't have a lot of contact with Zooey's mother, and it's certainly a subject I would not feel comfortable bringing up with her.
Best answer: I think you're right to want to tread carefully when talking about this stuff with kids, particularly when not having input from their parents. You should stay away from terms like "bigot" and "xenophobe" because, as accurate as they might be for some people, they are very negative, blanket terms. You wouldn't want to unfairly brand someone whose quote was taken out of context or who made a bad judgement call on printing an article.
A better route to take may be to blame bad information and ignorance, rather than call it outright hatred. Try, "immigration is a very complicated issue because most people don't really understand the history of immigration in this country and there is a lot of incorrect information out there. Some people, like Michelle Malkin, know that they can sell more articles by preying on people's fears than actually reporting the facts." Or something similar. You may have luck talking more about the specific points people make in the articles and discussing why they are or are not true rather than try to suss out the writers' motivations.
This is a tough thing to try to explain to anyone, especially a child. Thanks for trying to do the right thing by the kids. You're awesome.
posted by phunniemee at 8:45 PM on October 5, 2010
A better route to take may be to blame bad information and ignorance, rather than call it outright hatred. Try, "immigration is a very complicated issue because most people don't really understand the history of immigration in this country and there is a lot of incorrect information out there. Some people, like Michelle Malkin, know that they can sell more articles by preying on people's fears than actually reporting the facts." Or something similar. You may have luck talking more about the specific points people make in the articles and discussing why they are or are not true rather than try to suss out the writers' motivations.
This is a tough thing to try to explain to anyone, especially a child. Thanks for trying to do the right thing by the kids. You're awesome.
posted by phunniemee at 8:45 PM on October 5, 2010
Best answer: What the hell are the child friendly terms for "xenophobic" and "bigot"
"Afraid" and "mean" sound good to me.
and how should I answer "But why" when the person expressing anti-immigrant views appears to be an immigrant herself, i.e. white supremacy delusions can't possibly account for it?
I like how these kids formed a pretty cogent counter-argument. Bright indeed! This is how I'd respond:
"Because some people don't like people who aren't like them. And this makes them afraid of [losing their jobs or whatever; I'm not familiar with this author's anti-immigration arguments]. You're probably right that her parents were immigrants. Some people have trouble seeing the similarities between themselves and the people they say mean things about--they're called hypocrites."
For what it's worth, it sounds like you handled this fine. Looking up "bigot" in the dictionary is a perfectly reasonable response.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:13 PM on October 5, 2010 [4 favorites]
"Afraid" and "mean" sound good to me.
and how should I answer "But why" when the person expressing anti-immigrant views appears to be an immigrant herself, i.e. white supremacy delusions can't possibly account for it?
I like how these kids formed a pretty cogent counter-argument. Bright indeed! This is how I'd respond:
"Because some people don't like people who aren't like them. And this makes them afraid of [losing their jobs or whatever; I'm not familiar with this author's anti-immigration arguments]. You're probably right that her parents were immigrants. Some people have trouble seeing the similarities between themselves and the people they say mean things about--they're called hypocrites."
For what it's worth, it sounds like you handled this fine. Looking up "bigot" in the dictionary is a perfectly reasonable response.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:13 PM on October 5, 2010 [4 favorites]
Bill Cosby on Prejudice (part 2, 3)
You need to watch the whole thing. Otherwise, it will definitely send the wrong message.
posted by schmod at 9:15 PM on October 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
You need to watch the whole thing. Otherwise, it will definitely send the wrong message.
posted by schmod at 9:15 PM on October 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
Best answer: The term I remember being used for people with these views, when I was in elementary school, was "prejudiced"; the other main term we were taught about was "stereotype."
You can talk about what stereotypes people might hold about people from other groups -- for example, it might be a stereotype that black kids always like to play basketball, or that Latino kids always like a certain kind of food, or that kids from the country always like a certain kind of music. Sometimes stereotypes are positive and sometimes they're negative, but either way they're not a good way to understand what people are really like. You can talk about people who defy stereotypes - Venus Williams is a black athlete but she doesn't play basketball, etc. (Innocuous examples) So if someone thinks of people in terms of stereotypes, they're going to be wrong a lot of the time, and they're going to miss out on understanding other people. It's better to understand other people as individuals.
Then there are some people who have a negative stereotype about a certain group -- we say they are prejudiced against that group. For example, they might think that because they know one person from the group who is lazy, then everyone else from the group must be lazy too -- and if they owned a business, they might not want to hire someone from that group because they would expect people from that group to be bad workers. It's wrong to be prejudiced, because not all people in a certain group are the same - they're all individuals, some hardworking, some lazy, some nice, some mean, and so on.
When people act on their prejudices, especially if a lot of people hold a certain prejudice, it can lead to trouble for the people in the group that's being stereotyped. This has happened many times in the history of the US, with all different groups. For example, the Irish who immigrated after the potato famine were seen as lazy, stupid, sneaky, weird and different, etc.
In the debate about immigration today, there are people who are against immigration. Sometimes this is because they think immigrants will take jobs away from people who already live here - so they think we should not allow so many immigrants, and then there would be more jobs for people who live here. But many times, this belief is also combined with prejudices and stereotypes about immigrants.
(etc)
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:17 PM on October 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
You can talk about what stereotypes people might hold about people from other groups -- for example, it might be a stereotype that black kids always like to play basketball, or that Latino kids always like a certain kind of food, or that kids from the country always like a certain kind of music. Sometimes stereotypes are positive and sometimes they're negative, but either way they're not a good way to understand what people are really like. You can talk about people who defy stereotypes - Venus Williams is a black athlete but she doesn't play basketball, etc. (Innocuous examples) So if someone thinks of people in terms of stereotypes, they're going to be wrong a lot of the time, and they're going to miss out on understanding other people. It's better to understand other people as individuals.
Then there are some people who have a negative stereotype about a certain group -- we say they are prejudiced against that group. For example, they might think that because they know one person from the group who is lazy, then everyone else from the group must be lazy too -- and if they owned a business, they might not want to hire someone from that group because they would expect people from that group to be bad workers. It's wrong to be prejudiced, because not all people in a certain group are the same - they're all individuals, some hardworking, some lazy, some nice, some mean, and so on.
When people act on their prejudices, especially if a lot of people hold a certain prejudice, it can lead to trouble for the people in the group that's being stereotyped. This has happened many times in the history of the US, with all different groups. For example, the Irish who immigrated after the potato famine were seen as lazy, stupid, sneaky, weird and different, etc.
In the debate about immigration today, there are people who are against immigration. Sometimes this is because they think immigrants will take jobs away from people who already live here - so they think we should not allow so many immigrants, and then there would be more jobs for people who live here. But many times, this belief is also combined with prejudices and stereotypes about immigrants.
(etc)
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:17 PM on October 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
For a bright fifth-grader I might consider explaining the origin of the word Xenophobic with a good classical Greek story. Little history lesson because this stuff is as old as the hills and kids feel it even if they don't know what it is about. It's exactly ignorance and fear of strangers that is enabling the toxic rhetoric to be picked up and disseminated by ordinary folk. Polemicists like Malkin are even more distasteful for I am not sure they even believe what they are writing, they just have their niche and it's a living.
posted by Anitanola at 9:18 PM on October 5, 2010
posted by Anitanola at 9:18 PM on October 5, 2010
Rogers and Hammerstein risked a lot when they insisted that the song 'You've Got to Be Carefully Taught" had to stay in South Pacific in 1949. The lyrics are still painfully relevant. Matthew Morrison, before he became the one of the 'Glee' people, was in the recent Broadway revival of South Pacific. You can hear the song here. This song made an indelible impression on me when I was a very little girl. (The part about 'eyes being oddly made' now makes me uncomfortable.)
posted by lois1950 at 9:41 PM on October 5, 2010
posted by lois1950 at 9:41 PM on October 5, 2010
Best answer: My very white friends adopted a black kid and when he inquired at six about the semi-racism he encountered, they said 'They think your skin makes you different, and they don't like that.' 'Why?' 'Because they're dumb.'
Not that I exactly advocate repeating that in a classroom setting, but leave it to my friends to skip the sugar-coating and get straight to the point.
(This some time later resulted in him overhearing a debate on some pseudo-news talkshow regarding race and religion and proclaiming loudly, to his visiting grandparents, that 'the man in the blue suit [advocating a solely pro-white pro-christian viewpoint] is dumb.')
I love my friends.
Moral of the story: They got a bit frank with him. They did go on to explain in greater detail as time went on how according to some people certain ethnicities, religions, and the like are considered not as 'good' as others. Sometimes it's because they're scared of or intimidated by those people (for various reasons), or are raised to think they're not human, or simply had a bad experience with someone, and think that saying bad things about them is okay. No, it doesn't make sense and just don't talk to them if they treat you badly.
posted by Heretical at 9:49 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
Not that I exactly advocate repeating that in a classroom setting, but leave it to my friends to skip the sugar-coating and get straight to the point.
(This some time later resulted in him overhearing a debate on some pseudo-news talkshow regarding race and religion and proclaiming loudly, to his visiting grandparents, that 'the man in the blue suit [advocating a solely pro-white pro-christian viewpoint] is dumb.')
I love my friends.
Moral of the story: They got a bit frank with him. They did go on to explain in greater detail as time went on how according to some people certain ethnicities, religions, and the like are considered not as 'good' as others. Sometimes it's because they're scared of or intimidated by those people (for various reasons), or are raised to think they're not human, or simply had a bad experience with someone, and think that saying bad things about them is okay. No, it doesn't make sense and just don't talk to them if they treat you badly.
posted by Heretical at 9:49 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
PBS Online has "A Class Divided" available to stream at their site.
If you're not familiar with it, there is some background here.
It puts the issue in as plain, understandable and humanistic terms as I've ever seen. I saw this when I was in school, and it has had an indelible effect.
posted by churl at 9:52 PM on October 5, 2010
If you're not familiar with it, there is some background here.
It puts the issue in as plain, understandable and humanistic terms as I've ever seen. I saw this when I was in school, and it has had an indelible effect.
posted by churl at 9:52 PM on October 5, 2010
I'm moved by all of you who have written above, who take this issue so strongly, so care-fully. The devaluing, and even demonizing, of others hurts us all.
Children are often aware of prejudice at a very young age. Being the victim of it stamps it into consciousness. Compassionately observing it in another can also make it clear.
I remember reading a study about the compassion that babies exhibit when they hear another baby cry. What happens to thwart that grace?
posted by mareli at 10:02 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
Children are often aware of prejudice at a very young age. Being the victim of it stamps it into consciousness. Compassionately observing it in another can also make it clear.
I remember reading a study about the compassion that babies exhibit when they hear another baby cry. What happens to thwart that grace?
posted by mareli at 10:02 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
"People don't need a reason to not like someone or a group of people. But if you, little girl, are going to dislike someone, you should have a reason. It's wrong not to."
There's no reason to treat their irrational attitudes as rational.
posted by oreofuchi at 10:11 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
There's no reason to treat their irrational attitudes as rational.
posted by oreofuchi at 10:11 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Sometimes silly people act angry towards people who look different than they do. They act angry because they're afraid of seeing the world differently. It's like they only eat _normal food here_ everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner and when someone offers them a different food, like _____, they throw it away because they don't want to try something new. So sometimes adults do this with ideas or people's differences. But I think all different people make life a feast, don't you think?"
*Shrugs* That's my attempt, but then I don't have kids.
posted by DisreputableDog at 10:58 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
*Shrugs* That's my attempt, but then I don't have kids.
posted by DisreputableDog at 10:58 PM on October 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: When I run up against this in a college classroom with students who have basically zero exposure to critical thinking on these issues and often swallow the party line as learned from reactionary infotainment (that is, they're xenophobes, but usually because they were brought up that way), I often begin by contextualizing it by talking about anti-immigrant sentiment relating to the Irish 100 years ago -- it gives them a less emotional entree and obviously nobody is accusing them of being racist (which basically immediately shuts off their brains), and because it's historical, we can talk about how some of the predictions in the vicious rhetoric actually turned out. They're usually pretty quick to draw their own analogies to modern anti-immigrant rhetoric, and sometimes even get so far as thinking about how immigration was different in the past vs. today.
Anyway, you're obviously dealing with a different crowd, but using a historical example may highlight a lot of the issues in a way that's easier and less emotional to talk about, that you can discuss as a more dry historical narrative and less "something my students actually experience," and give the students a vocabulary and a frame of reference for talking about modern immigration issues that are much more emotional and "live" for your students.
if this were your child, would you prefer that the topic wasn't discussed at all?
No. If this were my child and you were responsible for teaching my child in some framework, I would EXPECT you to be answering these questions as they came up, in an age-appropriate and reasonably sensitive fashion. (I'd also, incidentally, expect you to tell me, "Zooey has had some questions about immigration lately because of her current events assignments and what she's seen in the news. I just wanted you to be aware," if you and I had any sort of contact at all as parent and teacher/tutor ... families should know so they can address those issues at home, too ... assuming good will on the part of the families in question, unless you have reason to think that will go very badly.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:40 AM on October 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
Anyway, you're obviously dealing with a different crowd, but using a historical example may highlight a lot of the issues in a way that's easier and less emotional to talk about, that you can discuss as a more dry historical narrative and less "something my students actually experience," and give the students a vocabulary and a frame of reference for talking about modern immigration issues that are much more emotional and "live" for your students.
if this were your child, would you prefer that the topic wasn't discussed at all?
No. If this were my child and you were responsible for teaching my child in some framework, I would EXPECT you to be answering these questions as they came up, in an age-appropriate and reasonably sensitive fashion. (I'd also, incidentally, expect you to tell me, "Zooey has had some questions about immigration lately because of her current events assignments and what she's seen in the news. I just wanted you to be aware," if you and I had any sort of contact at all as parent and teacher/tutor ... families should know so they can address those issues at home, too ... assuming good will on the part of the families in question, unless you have reason to think that will go very badly.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:40 AM on October 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
I've explained this before by saying "You know how some people are scared of harmless things like moths, or ladybugs, which can't hurt you at all? You can explain to them a thousand times that a moth can't hurt them, but they just can't stop being scared".
As for why someone so obviously an immigrant should hate immigrants, I don't have a way to explain that to a kid. Or, indeed, myself. In Malkin's case she specifically thinks she's different because her father was a serviceman, is that right? She thinks most immigrants are lazy etc. but her family's special?
Personally, I would just tell Zooey that Michelle is a very angry, confused person, and they put her on TV the way they put people who are terrible singers on "American Idol" or huge fat people on "Biggest Loser", because people like to see weird people on TV.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 2:04 AM on October 6, 2010
As for why someone so obviously an immigrant should hate immigrants, I don't have a way to explain that to a kid. Or, indeed, myself. In Malkin's case she specifically thinks she's different because her father was a serviceman, is that right? She thinks most immigrants are lazy etc. but her family's special?
Personally, I would just tell Zooey that Michelle is a very angry, confused person, and they put her on TV the way they put people who are terrible singers on "American Idol" or huge fat people on "Biggest Loser", because people like to see weird people on TV.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 2:04 AM on October 6, 2010
Best answer: If their school has multiple classrooms, you could contextualize it along those lines. (Or, another school in the district.)
"Tell me about Mrs. Johnson's class. What are the kids in that class like?" Odds are, there's some trait (again, odds are: it's negative) that your student has picked up on.
"They're all really wild / mean / ______."
"Are they all like that? Every single one of them?"
(yes / no ... hopefully, some nuance will creep in here)
"And tell me about *your* class. You say the kids in her class are _______. What about the kids in your class? ... Is nobody like that? Nobody?"
(yes / no ... hopefully, recognizing there are people all across the spectrum in both classes)
... and here's where things can diverge in so many ways it's not fruitful to write out a hypothetical dialog.
Point being: -isms come into the scene when Group A assigns Trait X to Group B unilaterally, without recognizing individual actors or individual motivations, and without recognizing the propensity of their own group's members to do the same thing (or, equally bad things). By bringing it back to the intra-school level, it might help them see what's going on — and if she has friends in the other classroom, to see how using broad terms to alien-ate the other can be dangerous. Also, it reinforces that we all have a tendency to otherize people, even as we otherize the otherizers.
posted by Alt F4 at 3:11 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Tell me about Mrs. Johnson's class. What are the kids in that class like?" Odds are, there's some trait (again, odds are: it's negative) that your student has picked up on.
"They're all really wild / mean / ______."
"Are they all like that? Every single one of them?"
(yes / no ... hopefully, some nuance will creep in here)
"And tell me about *your* class. You say the kids in her class are _______. What about the kids in your class? ... Is nobody like that? Nobody?"
(yes / no ... hopefully, recognizing there are people all across the spectrum in both classes)
... and here's where things can diverge in so many ways it's not fruitful to write out a hypothetical dialog.
Point being: -isms come into the scene when Group A assigns Trait X to Group B unilaterally, without recognizing individual actors or individual motivations, and without recognizing the propensity of their own group's members to do the same thing (or, equally bad things). By bringing it back to the intra-school level, it might help them see what's going on — and if she has friends in the other classroom, to see how using broad terms to alien-ate the other can be dangerous. Also, it reinforces that we all have a tendency to otherize people, even as we otherize the otherizers.
posted by Alt F4 at 3:11 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
There's always the Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes exercise. It's really powerful for group work on dealing with the idea of bigotry, although quite challenging. I know I've read of someone using it with younger school children, as well, but I can't recall the source for that.
In general, no, I would not want you to avoid talking about the issue if this were my child. And it sounds like you did a pretty good job in a tough situation.
Xenophobia means "being afraid of people from other places". Fifth grade can understand that concept, even if it doesn't make sense to them. And it shouldn't make sense to them, really, because it is an irrational fear. The big words are really just fancy ways of naming really ugly simple things.
Be aware that kids as bright as the ones you are describing, and kids in general, are not going to be comfortable with these ideas. That's a good thing. Don't try to protect them from the sense that there is something very disturbing about bigotry, even if we try to explain it like some people's fear of the dark. If you do choose those kinds of analogies, be sure to point out that "the dark" does not suffer for anyone fearing it.
posted by bardophile at 4:19 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
In general, no, I would not want you to avoid talking about the issue if this were my child. And it sounds like you did a pretty good job in a tough situation.
Xenophobia means "being afraid of people from other places". Fifth grade can understand that concept, even if it doesn't make sense to them. And it shouldn't make sense to them, really, because it is an irrational fear. The big words are really just fancy ways of naming really ugly simple things.
Be aware that kids as bright as the ones you are describing, and kids in general, are not going to be comfortable with these ideas. That's a good thing. Don't try to protect them from the sense that there is something very disturbing about bigotry, even if we try to explain it like some people's fear of the dark. If you do choose those kinds of analogies, be sure to point out that "the dark" does not suffer for anyone fearing it.
posted by bardophile at 4:19 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I once had to teach a 6yo the history of race in America in the 15 minute walk home, so I feel your pain. It all started because we were singing "You must take the A train if you wanna get to Harlem." I think it's important to address it honestly with kids, not side-step it, though of course in an age-appropriate manner. If it were my goddaughter, I know that both her mother and I would be grateful to you for addressing the topic so carefully and kindly as you describe above.
What the hell are the child friendly terms for "xenophobic" and "bigot"
I took this route with the 6 year old: "Some people are scared of people who seem different, or hate people who seem different. I think that's pretty dumb, though of course you get to make up your own mind. Here's why I think it's a bad way to think about other human beings..."
and how should I answer "But why" when the person expressing anti-immigrant views appears to be an immigrant herself, i.e. white supremacy delusions can't possibly account for it?
"Remember what it felt like to change schools and join a new class of kids who all knew each other from last year?"
Chances are, the child will remember feeling left out and really wanting desperately to fit in. You can then make the analogy, and bring up child-sized analogies like: "But would it be okay to tease a different kid just to fit in? Would you like it if a newer kid made fun of you just to try to fit in?"
posted by Eshkol at 6:58 AM on October 6, 2010
What the hell are the child friendly terms for "xenophobic" and "bigot"
I took this route with the 6 year old: "Some people are scared of people who seem different, or hate people who seem different. I think that's pretty dumb, though of course you get to make up your own mind. Here's why I think it's a bad way to think about other human beings..."
and how should I answer "But why" when the person expressing anti-immigrant views appears to be an immigrant herself, i.e. white supremacy delusions can't possibly account for it?
"Remember what it felt like to change schools and join a new class of kids who all knew each other from last year?"
Chances are, the child will remember feeling left out and really wanting desperately to fit in. You can then make the analogy, and bring up child-sized analogies like: "But would it be okay to tease a different kid just to fit in? Would you like it if a newer kid made fun of you just to try to fit in?"
posted by Eshkol at 6:58 AM on October 6, 2010
This issue comes up in Sunday School class when the lesson is the Good Samaritan story.
The whole idea is that people of your own group can be mean/thoughtless and people of the hated group can be nice and helpful. Or vice-versa. Belonging to a group doesn't automatically make you like/unlike others in the group, and it doesn't make the "other" group any specific way either.
My first graders had a tough time understanding the us-vs-them concept, so we used football teams to illustrate the point. Maybe this only works because I live in Dallas , but if your area college or high school has a strong rivalry, that could work too.
(My family are Phil. Eagles fans, in the town where they removed the Phil. brand cream cheese from the store for that weekend!)
posted by CathyG at 7:05 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
The whole idea is that people of your own group can be mean/thoughtless and people of the hated group can be nice and helpful. Or vice-versa. Belonging to a group doesn't automatically make you like/unlike others in the group, and it doesn't make the "other" group any specific way either.
My first graders had a tough time understanding the us-vs-them concept, so we used football teams to illustrate the point. Maybe this only works because I live in Dallas , but if your area college or high school has a strong rivalry, that could work too.
(My family are Phil. Eagles fans, in the town where they removed the Phil. brand cream cheese from the store for that weekend!)
posted by CathyG at 7:05 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Go through the article and this time highlight those sentences that seem off. The ones that identify her writing as bigoted or ignorant.
Teach the kid to read critically- to figure out that when someone offers simple answers to complex problems, those answers almost always involve blaming or eradicating some group of "others".
In other words, don't teach her what bigotry is, but let her see if for herself.
posted by gjc at 7:38 AM on October 6, 2010
Teach the kid to read critically- to figure out that when someone offers simple answers to complex problems, those answers almost always involve blaming or eradicating some group of "others".
In other words, don't teach her what bigotry is, but let her see if for herself.
posted by gjc at 7:38 AM on October 6, 2010
And I'm not sure if using sports teams and classrooms is the best way to explain it. Those analogies fail to convey the gravity of the situation. If hating brown people is the same as loving the Bears and hating the Packers, it must be a sort of game where everyone has to pick sides and it doesn't really matter.
(For the compare and contrast, it couldn't hurt to find some of Hitler's rhetoric and compare it to modern day bigots and (try to) explain how words become actions.)
posted by gjc at 7:42 AM on October 6, 2010
(For the compare and contrast, it couldn't hurt to find some of Hitler's rhetoric and compare it to modern day bigots and (try to) explain how words become actions.)
posted by gjc at 7:42 AM on October 6, 2010
Tacking on to what people have said above: One thing you want to avoid is demonizing and stereotyping bigots. Keep in mind that they too are *people* that have rational reasons for being that way, usually based on incomplete or wrong information, and to say that they're "dumb" is swinging the pendulum back beyond what is fair and right. They are to be pitied (and educated), not pilloried.
posted by msittig at 8:28 AM on October 6, 2010
posted by msittig at 8:28 AM on October 6, 2010
Has she seen the movie Shrek? That's basically what the whole movie is about- people assume the worst of an ogre because they don't know any better.
posted by Doohickie at 8:37 AM on October 6, 2010
posted by Doohickie at 8:37 AM on October 6, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
Entirely sheltering American kids from the realities of how race is perceived and reacted to in their country doesn't really do them any favors. I think that your approach -- trying to find a way to talk about prejudices so that kids can understand -- is a good one. If she's a Mexican-American, she's probably experienced at least a few direct incidences of racism already, if not a whole lot of them. By talking to her about how people's perceptions of race can affect their thoughts and behavior, you're giving her the tools to make sense those experiences and process them in a more useful way.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 8:38 PM on October 5, 2010 [5 favorites]