Experiences with end of life
September 17, 2010 11:20 AM Subscribe
Hospice and end of life: what to expect?
posted by quadrilaterals to Human Relations (24 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
My dad has Lou Gehrig's. He's had Lou Gehrig's for a while. My mom called me a few hours ago to tell me to come home.
I'm flying out tonight, but what can I expect? He lost most mobility a while ago, as well as the ability to speak. He normally communicates with a letterboard but I don't think he's able to now. We've had home nurses for a while. Hospice is coming in tonight. He's being given morphine. My mom says it seems like he's in a lot of pain. It's not 100% like "oh, he is going to die tonight/this week", but it's very likely if my mom has told me to come home.
What is hospice going to do? What is it going to be like for him? How am I going to feel? I've cried a little, but mostly I'm just shaking and feel faint. I've tried for years to prepare myself for this, but I don't know what happens. Will I have to write the obituary? Who figures out things like the funeral home?
And who figures out things like the eulogy? I don't want to give one, but what if my mom wants me to? How do I write one? Give one?
I am 22, the oldest daughter. I have two siblings and a large extended family. My mom is still alive.
I have tried a few times to whittle this question down but I just don't know how. Basically: what is your experience after an immediate family member dies? What is my dad going through? What is he feeling? What can I expect to feel? What am I expected to do? How can I tell my friends? Who will tell me what is going to happen with my dad? Can I talk to his doctor without my mom?