Should I transfer (undergrad)?
August 23, 2010 4:22 AM Subscribe
Miserable but comfortable - should I transfer?
I'm going into my second year as an undergraduate at a well regarded SUNY school. I'm a commuter who lives 20 minutes away, and I have a 3.7 GPA (with 2 W's - one from a class I took in high school and another from this summer). I have around 54 credits and about 20 are from AP tests/college classes I took in high school. I'm a social science major at a very natural science based school. This semester there are only 5 classes relating to my major.
I haven't made any friends here and there are NO active clubs related to my major or any of my interests. I go directly to class and go directly home. I like the campus and my classes - but I hate every other aspect of my life. I feel like I am still in high school and completely dependent on my parents for everything. I have social anxiety to begin with, and sitting in my room for 75% of each school day is really making things worse. I am comfortable staying in my room and not talking to anyone - but that is really not the kind of person I want to be. I feel like I fit in with absolutely nobody here. There are a lot of international students and everyone tends to stick their own groups. My real problem is the total lack of classes in my department. Due to budget cuts, only tenured professors are teaching this semester, and 2 professors just retired. The few classes that were available were full within hours.
I'm looking in to transferring to a CUNY school. I would have to commute 1.5 hours each way by train, which I don't really mind because I want to get away from home. I would be able to dorm in the fall, and living in Manhattan is something I've always wanted to do. My department seems a lot more active, plus the school offers a law minor. There are also a number of clubs I am interested in, and lots of volunteer opportunities and internships in the city. I think a fresh start will help boost my confidence. I am worried about the lack of campus, but that shouldn't really matter. I am more worried that I'll transfer and be even more miserable there.
I'm going on a tour/information session with the CUNY school next week, so hopefully that will give me more insight. Does anyone have any advice or opinions?
I'm going into my second year as an undergraduate at a well regarded SUNY school. I'm a commuter who lives 20 minutes away, and I have a 3.7 GPA (with 2 W's - one from a class I took in high school and another from this summer). I have around 54 credits and about 20 are from AP tests/college classes I took in high school. I'm a social science major at a very natural science based school. This semester there are only 5 classes relating to my major.
I haven't made any friends here and there are NO active clubs related to my major or any of my interests. I go directly to class and go directly home. I like the campus and my classes - but I hate every other aspect of my life. I feel like I am still in high school and completely dependent on my parents for everything. I have social anxiety to begin with, and sitting in my room for 75% of each school day is really making things worse. I am comfortable staying in my room and not talking to anyone - but that is really not the kind of person I want to be. I feel like I fit in with absolutely nobody here. There are a lot of international students and everyone tends to stick their own groups. My real problem is the total lack of classes in my department. Due to budget cuts, only tenured professors are teaching this semester, and 2 professors just retired. The few classes that were available were full within hours.
I'm looking in to transferring to a CUNY school. I would have to commute 1.5 hours each way by train, which I don't really mind because I want to get away from home. I would be able to dorm in the fall, and living in Manhattan is something I've always wanted to do. My department seems a lot more active, plus the school offers a law minor. There are also a number of clubs I am interested in, and lots of volunteer opportunities and internships in the city. I think a fresh start will help boost my confidence. I am worried about the lack of campus, but that shouldn't really matter. I am more worried that I'll transfer and be even more miserable there.
I'm going on a tour/information session with the CUNY school next week, so hopefully that will give me more insight. Does anyone have any advice or opinions?
I am worried about the lack of campus, but that shouldn't really matter.
I'm not familiar with the atmosphere at CUNY schools, but be aware there may be even less of a "there" there, in terms of student life for you to enjoy and feel integrated with, than you've got at your SUNY school. At other schools in NYC, there's a lack of a centered, campus feel you get at a typical college, and at a CUNY, many of your classmates will (also) be day students commuting and/or juggling jobs. You could potentially feel more isolated and lonely in Manhattan--the age old paradox.
posted by availablelight at 4:38 AM on August 23, 2010
I'm not familiar with the atmosphere at CUNY schools, but be aware there may be even less of a "there" there, in terms of student life for you to enjoy and feel integrated with, than you've got at your SUNY school. At other schools in NYC, there's a lack of a centered, campus feel you get at a typical college, and at a CUNY, many of your classmates will (also) be day students commuting and/or juggling jobs. You could potentially feel more isolated and lonely in Manhattan--the age old paradox.
posted by availablelight at 4:38 AM on August 23, 2010
Current CUNY Brooklyn College student here. I've been going there for six years, combined, but that's my fault, not theirs. I love it. I've gone to three college (two not in the CUNY system) and Brooklyn has their shit together better than the other two combined.
First off, you don't just go to CUNY -- you need to pick a specific school. Considering you want to live in Manhattan,you said you'll be living in the dorms and doing social science so you're probably thinking of Hunter. Their social science facilities are top-notch, or at least they were about four years ago when all my friends graduated.
You do NOT want to live in the dorms longer than a semester or two, however if you want a truly independent New York City experience, and getting an apartment means that you probably will not be living in Manhattan. Don't worry about that. Most of the Fun Young People Stuff is in Brooklyn, anyhow.
Don't worry about the lack of campus. The city is your campus. I grew up here and lived in a college town as well and holy shit does it not compare; the college film club is one thing, for instance, an enormous collection of indie, revival and foreign film theaters is a whole 'nother ballgame.
Living in New York will either force you to get out of the Social Anxiety thing, or it will make it horribly, horribly worse. It's all up to how bad it is (i.e. if it is a genuine psychological condition, you might want to get strategies on taking care of it first and moving here second) and how hard you're willing to get out there. Do you have any friends in NYC? See if you can stay with them for a weekend and whether or not you can "stand" New York. Don't move here without at least a weekend stay where you go and hang out with people. Otherwise you'll just end up spending your time watching Family Guy alone in your dorm room here instead of the middle of nowhere upstate that most SUNY colleges are located. Simply moving here is not going to make you a social butterfly; you have to put some elbow grease into it.
What's your department/major, by the way? It'll help to figure out which CUNY school you should attend.
posted by griphus at 5:11 AM on August 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
First off, you don't just go to CUNY -- you need to pick a specific school. Considering you want to live in Manhattan,you said you'll be living in the dorms and doing social science so you're probably thinking of Hunter. Their social science facilities are top-notch, or at least they were about four years ago when all my friends graduated.
You do NOT want to live in the dorms longer than a semester or two, however if you want a truly independent New York City experience, and getting an apartment means that you probably will not be living in Manhattan. Don't worry about that. Most of the Fun Young People Stuff is in Brooklyn, anyhow.
Don't worry about the lack of campus. The city is your campus. I grew up here and lived in a college town as well and holy shit does it not compare; the college film club is one thing, for instance, an enormous collection of indie, revival and foreign film theaters is a whole 'nother ballgame.
Living in New York will either force you to get out of the Social Anxiety thing, or it will make it horribly, horribly worse. It's all up to how bad it is (i.e. if it is a genuine psychological condition, you might want to get strategies on taking care of it first and moving here second) and how hard you're willing to get out there. Do you have any friends in NYC? See if you can stay with them for a weekend and whether or not you can "stand" New York. Don't move here without at least a weekend stay where you go and hang out with people. Otherwise you'll just end up spending your time watching Family Guy alone in your dorm room here instead of the middle of nowhere upstate that most SUNY colleges are located. Simply moving here is not going to make you a social butterfly; you have to put some elbow grease into it.
What's your department/major, by the way? It'll help to figure out which CUNY school you should attend.
posted by griphus at 5:11 AM on August 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
Uh, ignore that last line, I wrote it before I noticed that you're a SS major and put the info re: that into the post.
posted by griphus at 5:12 AM on August 23, 2010
posted by griphus at 5:12 AM on August 23, 2010
Half your problem seems to be that you're unhappy living with your parents. So while I think CUNY could be a good fit for you, I don't think it's going to solve all your problems.
That said, I think CUNY could be a good fit for you. I'm a Hunter alum, and while I have my issues with certain aspects of my education, overall it's a great school at a great price. Especially if you are into the social sciences - there are TONS of campus activities to get involved with if you are interested along those lines, whether it's departmental clubs, model UN, political/community organizing, special interest groups like Feminist Majority or the campus LGBT center.
I would not, however, continue to live with your parents and commute an hour and a half each way to get to a school like Hunter, though. For one thing, you wouldn't have much time to get involved on campus because you'd live too far away to develop strong friendships, wouldn't have the city experience that most of the students are living, and even the matter of three hours a day stuck on the Metro North or whatever would take away time you could spend socializing.
Hunter has a dorm. It's not "on campus" in the traditional sense, but it exists (and it's in a great part of town!). Usually athletes and Honors College students get first dibs, but I was neither and managed to spend a year in the dorms anyway. When I was there it was some of the cheapest housing in Manhattan, hands down (I think I paid $1200-1500 per semester, which worked out to under $500 a month. For a single room. On 25th Street.)
If that's not an option, I would look into some housing away from your parents which would be closer to school. Even if sharing with a bunch of people in Bushwick or something. Do you have family living closer to a CUNY school than your parents do? An old friend? Any option at all?
posted by Sara C. at 5:20 AM on August 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
That said, I think CUNY could be a good fit for you. I'm a Hunter alum, and while I have my issues with certain aspects of my education, overall it's a great school at a great price. Especially if you are into the social sciences - there are TONS of campus activities to get involved with if you are interested along those lines, whether it's departmental clubs, model UN, political/community organizing, special interest groups like Feminist Majority or the campus LGBT center.
I would not, however, continue to live with your parents and commute an hour and a half each way to get to a school like Hunter, though. For one thing, you wouldn't have much time to get involved on campus because you'd live too far away to develop strong friendships, wouldn't have the city experience that most of the students are living, and even the matter of three hours a day stuck on the Metro North or whatever would take away time you could spend socializing.
Hunter has a dorm. It's not "on campus" in the traditional sense, but it exists (and it's in a great part of town!). Usually athletes and Honors College students get first dibs, but I was neither and managed to spend a year in the dorms anyway. When I was there it was some of the cheapest housing in Manhattan, hands down (I think I paid $1200-1500 per semester, which worked out to under $500 a month. For a single room. On 25th Street.)
If that's not an option, I would look into some housing away from your parents which would be closer to school. Even if sharing with a bunch of people in Bushwick or something. Do you have family living closer to a CUNY school than your parents do? An old friend? Any option at all?
posted by Sara C. at 5:20 AM on August 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
BTW, please memail me about any CUNY questions you have. Of course!
posted by Sara C. at 5:20 AM on August 23, 2010
posted by Sara C. at 5:20 AM on August 23, 2010
I feel like I fit in with absolutely nobody here. There are a lot of international students and everyone tends to stick their own groups
I just wanted to point out that the CUNY schools I am familiar with are brimming with international students, recent immigrants, not-so-recent immigrants, multicultural, multilingual people, etc., so if part of the reason you feel alienated from the students in your current school is that you don't share the same culture, you will find that in the CUNY schools too big time.
posted by Ashley801 at 5:24 AM on August 23, 2010
I just wanted to point out that the CUNY schools I am familiar with are brimming with international students, recent immigrants, not-so-recent immigrants, multicultural, multilingual people, etc., so if part of the reason you feel alienated from the students in your current school is that you don't share the same culture, you will find that in the CUNY schools too big time.
posted by Ashley801 at 5:24 AM on August 23, 2010
Transferring won't solve your problems. You need to move out of your parents' house. Everyone I know who lived with their parents during college hated it. Get a part-time job if you have to - it is totally worth it. Share a house or apartment with other students.
I went to school about 45 minutes away from my parents' house. I still moved out and paid rent. It was totally worth it. I would have had no social life if I had continued to live with my parents.
Consider that the money spent commuting to a CUNY school could be put toward rent instead.
When I was an undergrad, I made a lot of friends I never expected during my foreign language courses. Since you have to talk to each other constantly, and since you will study together as a result, you will get to know each other pretty well.
posted by twblalock at 6:05 AM on August 23, 2010
I went to school about 45 minutes away from my parents' house. I still moved out and paid rent. It was totally worth it. I would have had no social life if I had continued to live with my parents.
Consider that the money spent commuting to a CUNY school could be put toward rent instead.
When I was an undergrad, I made a lot of friends I never expected during my foreign language courses. Since you have to talk to each other constantly, and since you will study together as a result, you will get to know each other pretty well.
posted by twblalock at 6:05 AM on August 23, 2010
Transferring won't solve your problems. You need to move out of your parents' house.
I completely agree. Commuting 3 hours a day is going to be a total disaster for your social life.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:14 AM on August 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I completely agree. Commuting 3 hours a day is going to be a total disaster for your social life.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:14 AM on August 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I forgot to add the school I'm currently attending has a LOT of different majors and related classes. The CUNY school has 26 majors, the SUNY school has about 95. This is another huge factor - the classes at the CUNY school are pretty limited.
The number of majors offered at any one school should not be your deciding factor. It is going to be a huge problem for you if your university only offers 5 courses in your major in a given semester - especially if you hope to graduate without having to take classes somewhere else and dealing with all the headaches that involves.
As a student in the social sciences (anthropology) at Hunter, that was not a problem I ever ran into. If anything, there were too many courses I wanted to take which I never got around to.
At this point in your college career, you should be settling into one chosen area of study. If you find that schools in the SUNY and CUNY systems don't offer a major that is compatible with what you want to do, you should plan to transfer elsewhere. Or realize that your ideal major just isn't going to happen, and pick something similar. (i.e. if you want to major in linguistics, choose anthropology and you can probably cobble together enough linguistics courses to make yourself happy - and an anthro degree is perfectly compatible to get you into a ling grad program)
Of course, at Hunter there were other problems with courses and majors; namely that there are more students enrolled there than there is room in the important/required courses. I'm not sure this is true at all CUNY schools; griphus makes it sound like Brooklyn is better on this score. But I have friends who are in grad programs back at the good old alma mater who STILL have problems with it. If this is a dealbreaker for you, you should look into transferring elsewhere (possibly to a smaller private liberal arts school where the tuition acts as a gatekeeper to prevent this from happening).
posted by Sara C. at 7:00 AM on August 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
The number of majors offered at any one school should not be your deciding factor. It is going to be a huge problem for you if your university only offers 5 courses in your major in a given semester - especially if you hope to graduate without having to take classes somewhere else and dealing with all the headaches that involves.
As a student in the social sciences (anthropology) at Hunter, that was not a problem I ever ran into. If anything, there were too many courses I wanted to take which I never got around to.
At this point in your college career, you should be settling into one chosen area of study. If you find that schools in the SUNY and CUNY systems don't offer a major that is compatible with what you want to do, you should plan to transfer elsewhere. Or realize that your ideal major just isn't going to happen, and pick something similar. (i.e. if you want to major in linguistics, choose anthropology and you can probably cobble together enough linguistics courses to make yourself happy - and an anthro degree is perfectly compatible to get you into a ling grad program)
Of course, at Hunter there were other problems with courses and majors; namely that there are more students enrolled there than there is room in the important/required courses. I'm not sure this is true at all CUNY schools; griphus makes it sound like Brooklyn is better on this score. But I have friends who are in grad programs back at the good old alma mater who STILL have problems with it. If this is a dealbreaker for you, you should look into transferring elsewhere (possibly to a smaller private liberal arts school where the tuition acts as a gatekeeper to prevent this from happening).
posted by Sara C. at 7:00 AM on August 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Thirding that the real solution to your problem is to move out of your parent's house. It's so much easier to hang out all night, eat pizza, not clean your room, and have sex when you live away from parents. Get a part time job and hit up your area craigslist everyday. Don't be afraid of cheap rents and crappy apartments. Everyone starts somewhere.
posted by WeekendJen at 7:15 AM on August 23, 2010
posted by WeekendJen at 7:15 AM on August 23, 2010
...griphus makes it sound like Brooklyn is better on this score.
I'm a lit major, and there's a wide variety of courses we can use to complete our degree. So, if Early Western Tradition is full, I can just sign up for History of the English Language instead and fulfill the same slot in the degree requirements. From my time as a Computer Science major, I have a feeling the Social Science stuff is a lot more restrictive in that aspect.
I can't say whether there's a major problem in the social sciences; I don't actually know anyone who went to Brooklyn to major in that. In fact, you shouldn't be going to Brooklyn College for social science. Hunter is built around SS work and the (high) quality of the related facilities reflects that. But, like you said, it will always be a problem unless you're in a tiny, expensive liberal arts school.
The trick is to sign up for classes the second you can. CUNY gives you a date and time you can start to register, and you should register that very moment. Pick classes beforehand, make sure you have a few backups, email professors to ask if there's a chance they'll close up before you can get at them etc. etc. Students always drop classes the first day, so get in touch with the professors beforehand to make sure they know your name even if you're on the official waitlist.
posted by griphus at 7:20 AM on August 23, 2010
I'm a lit major, and there's a wide variety of courses we can use to complete our degree. So, if Early Western Tradition is full, I can just sign up for History of the English Language instead and fulfill the same slot in the degree requirements. From my time as a Computer Science major, I have a feeling the Social Science stuff is a lot more restrictive in that aspect.
I can't say whether there's a major problem in the social sciences; I don't actually know anyone who went to Brooklyn to major in that. In fact, you shouldn't be going to Brooklyn College for social science. Hunter is built around SS work and the (high) quality of the related facilities reflects that. But, like you said, it will always be a problem unless you're in a tiny, expensive liberal arts school.
The trick is to sign up for classes the second you can. CUNY gives you a date and time you can start to register, and you should register that very moment. Pick classes beforehand, make sure you have a few backups, email professors to ask if there's a chance they'll close up before you can get at them etc. etc. Students always drop classes the first day, so get in touch with the professors beforehand to make sure they know your name even if you're on the official waitlist.
posted by griphus at 7:20 AM on August 23, 2010
My problem at Hunter was more with GenEd requirements. The anthropology department was small enough that I could usually get into any course I wanted, and even if something was full when I tried to register, because the department is pretty small and I was pretty involved I could usually finagle my way in. But trying to fulfill this or that other requirement was a bitch.
posted by Sara C. at 7:29 AM on August 23, 2010
posted by Sara C. at 7:29 AM on August 23, 2010
Oh, yeah, that's a problem across the CUNY system in general then. Fight tooth-and-nail to get the gen. ed. stuff you took at your SUNY to count for the Core Class (that's what they're called in Brooklyn, don't know if it is standardized across CUNY) degree requirements. Especially see if you can knock out sciences classes with labs that have labs, as they're the ones which tend force you build schedules around them.
Before coming here get syllabi for every general ed. class you've taken. If the credit transfer dept. doesn't accept a certain credit for a certain class you need, they'll tend to let you argue your case. Having a syllabus for that class makes arguing your case infinitely easier. If you've thrown them out (I know you have) get in touch with those professors and ask them for that class' syllabus. You can do this easily over email.
posted by griphus at 7:39 AM on August 23, 2010
Before coming here get syllabi for every general ed. class you've taken. If the credit transfer dept. doesn't accept a certain credit for a certain class you need, they'll tend to let you argue your case. Having a syllabus for that class makes arguing your case infinitely easier. If you've thrown them out (I know you have) get in touch with those professors and ask them for that class' syllabus. You can do this easily over email.
posted by griphus at 7:39 AM on August 23, 2010
I'll offer the opinion that transferring schools won't necessarily cure the social anxiety or isolation issues.
In college I found myself in very similar circumstances as what you describe here. I transferred from one school to another in my sophomore year only to find that I repeated my same pattern of staying home and not talking to anyone in the new location.
Transferring was absolutely the right thing to do for me academically, and I'd make the same decision today. Just be aware that moving isn't the sole answer - those socially isolating patterns tend to follow wherever one goes (I struggle with the same issue today, 7 years after I'm done with school).
posted by owls at 8:43 AM on August 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
In college I found myself in very similar circumstances as what you describe here. I transferred from one school to another in my sophomore year only to find that I repeated my same pattern of staying home and not talking to anyone in the new location.
Transferring was absolutely the right thing to do for me academically, and I'd make the same decision today. Just be aware that moving isn't the sole answer - those socially isolating patterns tend to follow wherever one goes (I struggle with the same issue today, 7 years after I'm done with school).
posted by owls at 8:43 AM on August 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
Ordinarily I argue against any change that means a longer commute. I've had a "1.5 hour each way" commute, and it was terrible. But I was driving through rush-hour traffic, to a job.
I think a 3 hour/day commute by train is more reasonable for college, since you can spend that time doing homework.
But if your complaint is "social isolation," I'd think that might be made worse by the long distance. You can't easily invite friends over after class, and your enjoyment of any after-class activities will be diminished by having that commute hanging over your head.
It's hard to get lost in a chess game or whatever when you're thinking "Gotta make the train at 7...."
posted by ErikaB at 11:00 AM on August 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think a 3 hour/day commute by train is more reasonable for college, since you can spend that time doing homework.
But if your complaint is "social isolation," I'd think that might be made worse by the long distance. You can't easily invite friends over after class, and your enjoyment of any after-class activities will be diminished by having that commute hanging over your head.
It's hard to get lost in a chess game or whatever when you're thinking "Gotta make the train at 7...."
posted by ErikaB at 11:00 AM on August 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by anonymish at 4:31 AM on August 23, 2010