What should my friend name his dog?
August 14, 2010 9:43 PM   Subscribe

What should my friend name his VERY SMALL, MALE, Chihuahua?

He would like to have a "humorous" name for his dog. Something that brings out the comedic tension between his name and his tiny frame. Suggestions such as Thor, Xerxes, Caesar, are the type of names he is looking into.
posted by learninguntilidie to Pets & Animals (88 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Gigantor!
posted by NoraCharles at 9:45 PM on August 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


My favorite "Big Name for a Little Dog" is Moose.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:46 PM on August 14, 2010 [9 favorites]


If cat questions require pictures, why do you think dog questions don't?

But the answer is Gargantua; Garrrrrrrr for short.
posted by Some1 at 9:48 PM on August 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


T-rex
posted by special-k at 9:50 PM on August 14, 2010


My neighbour just showed me her tiny little Chihuahua whose name is Bidule – French for "thingy" or "gizmo" – and it suits him perfectly. He's about half the size of my cat and not, apparently, expected to grow much bigger. Gizmo might work.
posted by zadcat at 9:52 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I never forget the name of my neighbor's tiny, elderly Yorkie: Zeus !
posted by Kakkerlak at 9:53 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


... Caesar ...
Surely Brutus would be better, after all Brutus killed Caesar! In any case, how about:

Babar
Cetus
Jumbo
Kraken
Thunder
Titan
posted by RichardP at 9:54 PM on August 14, 2010


Achilles
Hercules
Megatron
Optimus Prime
Goliath
posted by tracicle at 9:56 PM on August 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


Bullpen.
posted by Kololo at 9:58 PM on August 14, 2010


Lou. As in Ferrigno. As in The Hulk.
posted by decathecting at 9:59 PM on August 14, 2010


Butch.
posted by annsunny at 10:00 PM on August 14, 2010


Maximus
posted by Telpethoron at 10:01 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've always wanted to name a little dog...."Bruce"

You can have it.
posted by pearlybob at 10:01 PM on August 14, 2010


Aggro
Grizzly (Grizz for short)
Wooly Mammoth
Fernando
Alejandro
Cereberus
Mookie
Mr. Peacock
Tank
Diesel
Texas (Tex for short)
Andre (The Giant)
Snuffleluffagus
Escalade
Bagel
Brisket
FC
Toro
Kazak
Kilgore Trout
Wild Bob

Two buddies are out on a Saturday stroll. One has a Doberman Pinscher and the other one has a Chihuahua.

As they’re walking down the street, the guy with the Doberman says, "Let's go over to that bar and get something to drink."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there, they don't allow dogs."

The other guys says, "Ah ha..don’t worry about that. Just follow my lead."

So they walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman puts on his sunglasses and starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, bud, no pets allowed."

The guy responds, "But you don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"

The man replies, "Yeah, they're using them now. They're actually very good."

So the bouncer says, "Well come on in then."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures what the heck, so he puts on his sunglasses and starts to walk past the bouncer. Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

The guy responds, "But you don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

To which the bouncer says, "Come on buddy, a Chihuahua?!"

The guy replies, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a FUCKING CHIHUAHUA?!"
posted by Ostara at 10:01 PM on August 14, 2010 [15 favorites]


Samson
Butch
Chico
posted by freshwater at 10:07 PM on August 14, 2010


- Fridge
- Meat
- Jumbo (seconding that)
- Kong
- Whale
- Hefty
posted by teedee2000 at 10:09 PM on August 14, 2010


Poquito! Nicknamed Poke!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:10 PM on August 14, 2010


Punt.
posted by thekiltedwonder at 10:13 PM on August 14, 2010


I like "Moose" but keep in mind: two syllable names are much better dog names than one syllable names. It's a lot easier to shout a two syllable name.
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 10:14 PM on August 14, 2010


Slugger
posted by spilon at 10:16 PM on August 14, 2010


Beef cake
Pork Bun

another request for pics. We can't let cats have all the fun.
posted by special-k at 10:25 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Zeus
posted by msbutah at 10:31 PM on August 14, 2010


HOW ABOUT CAPITAL?
posted by elder18 at 10:33 PM on August 14, 2010


Ozymandias! Dog of dogs: look on his kibbles, ye Mighty, and despair!

(They could call him "Oz" or "Ozzie," for short.)
posted by Rhaomi at 10:36 PM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


Brutus Maximus Then, shorten either one however you like, and add a long "e" sound for his/her everyday name. And I second pics!
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 10:37 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Farfl.
posted by lhude sing cuccu at 10:42 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Personal favorite for this situation: Cerberus, 3-headed guard dog of Hell.
posted by Sakura3210 at 10:42 PM on August 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


My friend named her tiny dachshund Jack Bauer, and calls him by his full name whenever others are around.
posted by jouir at 10:43 PM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


Gordo
posted by stuartmm at 10:46 PM on August 14, 2010


Arnold. (Schwarzenegger)

Or you can use the Pro Wrestling Name Generator to find big scary names.
posted by mjao at 10:50 PM on August 14, 2010


Crusher.
posted by chowflap at 11:13 PM on August 14, 2010


Optimus Prime.
posted by Foam Pants at 11:18 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Lurch

Manute (after Manute Bol, naturlich)

Conan (after either The Barbarian or The Comedian, pick one; they're both big)

Canis Maximus

Biggus Dickus

That's all I got.
posted by motown missile at 11:23 PM on August 14, 2010


Tonka
posted by k8t at 11:25 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Atlas.
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:25 PM on August 14, 2010


RichardP has it...

KRAKEN

As in RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

Your friend can shout it every time he takes the dog out!

Naming him after a larger breed could be fun too:
Pit Bull
Boxer
Wolfhound

I knew a guy who named his dog Dammit. It was really fun to watch obedience training:
"Dammit, Sit."
"Roll over Dammit!"
"Drop it Dammit! Drop it!"
"Dammit don't eat that! Aw man Dammit, that's gross."

You could go the other way with the size thing:
Cat Food
Niblet
Bait

If he wanted to name him after a tough guy:
Dirty Harry
Chuck or Chuck Norris
Bruce
Vladimir (Putin)
posted by TooFewShoes at 11:50 PM on August 14, 2010


Pepito
posted by watercarrier at 11:50 PM on August 14, 2010


Spike
Rufus
posted by np312 at 12:00 AM on August 15, 2010


Bugbomb.
posted by azpenguin at 12:00 AM on August 15, 2010


Napoleon
posted by QueenHawkeye at 12:14 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Shrek
posted by Anitanola at 1:13 AM on August 15, 2010


Galactus!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:25 AM on August 15, 2010 [2 favorites]


Pico de Gallo
posted by indigo4963 at 1:46 AM on August 15, 2010


or just Pico (10^-12)
posted by indigo4963 at 1:48 AM on August 15, 2010


Big McLargeHuge. Or any other name from Space Mutiny.
posted by neushoorn at 2:01 AM on August 15, 2010


Amigo Montoya.
posted by vitabellosi at 2:41 AM on August 15, 2010


George Bush
posted by honey-barbara at 2:43 AM on August 15, 2010


Pango, Giant Dog of Tokyo

Tyrone
posted by vitabellosi at 2:46 AM on August 15, 2010


Terror.
posted by Ghislain Bellec at 2:56 AM on August 15, 2010


Trajan
posted by mdonley at 3:33 AM on August 15, 2010


Actually, look at all the Roman emperors. The Byzantines had some great names too: Herakleios, Basil I the Macedonian...
posted by mdonley at 3:40 AM on August 15, 2010


Rambo
Buster
Shaq (or Shaquille)
Herman
Killer
Stanley
Yao
Crusher
posted by i_cola at 4:06 AM on August 15, 2010


Speedy
posted by monkeymadness at 4:27 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Tchotchke!
posted by daisyace at 5:40 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


For god's sake, the traditional name for any small, gentle dog is... Rocky.

What is wrong with you people?
posted by MuffinMan at 5:40 AM on August 15, 2010


I have a dog named Bugsy (Malone). I think it would work in this situation as well.
Another idea: Spartacus.
posted by Roger Dodger at 5:41 AM on August 15, 2010


Please keep in mind his Hispanic heritage and give him a worthy name like
Benito
Gaucho
Julio
Paz
Sancho
Tequila
Toro
posted by watercarrier at 6:10 AM on August 15, 2010


Important tip: if you decide to include profanity in your pet's name, and that profane word is in one of the predominant languages of the country in which you expect to seek most of your pet's veterinary care, whenever you seek meet new veterinary staff, they will assume you are likely to be an irresponsible jackass until you actively demonstrate otherwise. If you name your animal 'Dammit', you've automatically erased most of the benefit of the doubt you might otherwise be given. It can be earned back, but why start from behind?(Naming an animal 'PITA' in the US is the exception. I think it's because you can pass it off as benign, but everyone knows what you mean. And really, all pets are adorable PITAs anyway.)

Naming it after a large breed that has been banninated/institutionalized prejudice against it is also not a good idea if your friend plans on moving and he's in the US, because landlords aren't going to parse the lines on the application/lease amendment that read similarly to

'Breed: Chihuahua,
Animal's Name: Pit Bull'

very well. Even if he explains and shows a picture or even brings in the dog---they'll often just suspect people are screwing with them and have a second dog hidden somewhere. And then his vet may have to write a second note and he'll have all this administrative hassle which could have been completely avoided by naming the dog something like 'Trogdor the Burninator' in the first place. I'm not making these scenarios up.

(incidentally, I knew a pug named Hercules who went by 'Herky.' To combine two posts above, he could do 'Cerberus' and call him 'Kerby' for training purposes--dogs just hear those types of names better.)
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 6:26 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


'whenever you meet'

I really do use preview.
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 6:27 AM on August 15, 2010


Cuahtemoc- a good Mexican warrior name.
posted by pickypicky at 6:44 AM on August 15, 2010


Fishface
posted by mullacc at 7:01 AM on August 15, 2010


Mouse.
posted by JtJ at 7:25 AM on August 15, 2010


Viggo.
posted by box at 7:31 AM on August 15, 2010


Cujo
posted by markx2 at 7:36 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Mamooth

One of my sister's chihuahuas is called Laser and it suits him very well.
posted by clearlydemon at 7:37 AM on August 15, 2010


Marmaduke
Clifford
posted by FfejL at 7:40 AM on August 15, 2010


Agamemnon
Spartacus
Ferrigno
Thundarr
Voldemort
Pacha Kamaq
posted by elizardbits at 7:46 AM on August 15, 2010


Commander.
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:47 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


There's a little Pom at our dogpark: guy owner wanted a big dog; girl owner, small dog. She won, but he got naming rights. It's awesome to see this little 8lb puffball come bolting across the park in response to "Megatron!".

Best small dog name ever.
posted by nometa at 7:49 AM on August 15, 2010 [5 favorites]


Tiger
posted by CwgrlUp at 7:50 AM on August 15, 2010


Harley. This is actually the name my cousin gave to his kick-ass service Chihuahua, as he is in a wheelchair. Harley can go everywhere with him AND fetch his keys.
posted by emyd at 8:06 AM on August 15, 2010


Fezzik
Gmork
Paul Bunyan
Bill Brasky
Bixby
Hurley
posted by 23skidoo at 8:10 AM on August 15, 2010


Nobody has suggested Taco?
posted by Heretical at 9:03 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Mongo
posted by nj_subgenius at 9:50 AM on August 15, 2010


Tiny.
posted by contraption at 9:56 AM on August 15, 2010


Biff
Fernando
Golem
Gorilla
KHAAANNNN!
Knuckles
Nero
Rascal
Stubs
T-Bone
Ulysses
Vaughn (I dont know whay that poppsed into my head)
Wiley
Zoltan
That is all.
posted by nj_subgenius at 9:57 AM on August 15, 2010


Khan!
posted by tomcooke at 10:05 AM on August 15, 2010


El Jefe
posted by tomcooke at 10:11 AM on August 15, 2010


Gojira
Gwar
posted by Brody's chum at 11:01 AM on August 15, 2010


I had a small dog when I was a kid, and we called him "Crusher".
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 11:05 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Jaws.
posted by Ostara at 11:47 AM on August 15, 2010


Akuma. Japanese for "devil."
posted by hot_monster at 12:34 PM on August 15, 2010


Godzillia!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:07 PM on August 15, 2010


Spud.
posted by klanawa at 2:15 PM on August 15, 2010


Buffalo.
posted by oflinkey at 5:01 PM on August 15, 2010


Constable.
posted by JujuB at 7:00 PM on August 15, 2010


Gitmo
posted by Trochanter at 9:28 PM on August 15, 2010


Bucephalus (after Alexander the Great's mythic horse).
posted by owls at 8:32 AM on August 16, 2010 [1 favorite]


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