My schedule is totally not interested in you
August 10, 2010 3:47 PM Subscribe
Mind-reading Filter: What does this mean - "Well, I'm totally booked up this week... I don't know what my schedule is next week."
I'm a man, mid-thirties at this point, dating women, never married or nuthin'. Over the last few years when trying to ask women out I've on some occasions gotten a response along these lines: I suggest that we oughta get together for coffee some time, to which she responds with something like,
"Well, ah, I am so busy this week, booked solid."
"I could come around again next week some time?"
"I'm not sure what my schedule for next week is yet."
These are people I'm not quite acquaintances with, who I've run into a few times in public at a store or maybe when I was out for a walk and chatted with in passing - so not anyone I really know but not a complete stranger I'm walking up on out of the blue either. I also think they're around my age but I'm not always good at judging someone's age.
From other discussions around MeFi I know that women can sometimes feel a bit cornered when approached by men in public like this because some men are completely nuts, won't take "no" for an answer, and will react badly to outright rejection. I, on the other hand, am usually pretty timid about this stuff.
So I'm wondering whether I ought to be slightly more aggressive and on a more specific note - does this really sound like a polite expression of disinterest which it would appear to be at first glance, or does it sound more just like someone who is actually really busy? It occurs to me that I could happen to be hitting on women who are single mothers or something (which I wouldn't object to) and they really do just have insanely busy, unpredictable schedules.
Another aspect is that I'm almost never a busy person myself so I have trouble imagining how someone who is really busy would be thinking. If it was the latter case, someone who's genuinely busy and is just being noncommittal at first or needs to think about it, what would be a good way to proceed and "press the advantage"? (Or maybe it's smarter to think in terms of, what sort of graceful things could I ask to try to fish out whether it's disinterest or genuine busyness?)
If it matters, this is in a fairly small New England city.