Don't Buy Me Love,Pay My Rent
August 7, 2010 11:25 AM Subscribe
How can I politely but effectively ask my significant other for financial help?
posted by anonymous to human relations (46 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I've been dating my boyfriend for over half a year and we're seriously involved. We currently don't live together but we have plans for me to move in with him early next year. In the meantime however, I'm unemployed struggling financially with university and living expenses in our expensive city while he makes an incredibly profitable living. With my demanding school schedules it's relatively impossible to squeeze in time for a part time job and remain successful with my education. I find myself having to ask my parents and friends for help with my rent and living expenses,they always oblige but they're all curious why my affluent SO never seems to help me out. I never have a good answer for them. He really has no financial obligations except his own living expenses, and he's always bragging about how much money he's been able to save and how I should do the same.
My boyfriend is well aware of my circumstances so I'm surprised when I more or less ask him for the things I need, it seems to go right over his head. I even directly asked him for a little help with my rent(so I wouldn't get evicted) he promised and reassured me how he was going to help me out, he never did. I fear that he might feel I'm only interested in his money but that is truly not the case. I feel very awkward and embarrassed even approaching the subject with him, and I don't think I should feel that way. We're in love and shouldn't feel so dreadfully uncomfortable talking about such things with my husband to be(yes we've even discussed all of that).
Also, the most annoying part is because every cent I have goes to keeping me off the streets my boyfriend complains and scolds me when I don't show up in new sexy dresses for our nights out or wow him with different intricate lingeries. I cannot afford it!
Sometimes he'll treat me to a little shopping spree and he always covers the bill when he take me out, but I'm still struggling along. He's not by any means cheap or frugal when it comes to the things he want, so I'm always surprised when he seems to watch himself with me.
Mefi is there something I'm doing wrong here? I know I've never done or said anything to imply that I'm only interested in his money, but I do need some help.. There has to be a certain tactic I can use to get my SO to help me out? I'd prefer to so in the politest or sweetest way possible.