Find the missing sexbot!
August 4, 2010 9:13 AM Subscribe
Oh great and powerful hive mind, please help me concoct (another) near-future science fiction story.
A while back I asked you to consider the ramifications of termites taking over your mind. That worked out well for me, with the story being accepted for publication here:
http://www.electricspec.com/issues/volume-5-issue-1-february-28-2010/original-position-by-a-l-sirois.asp For which, thanks!
I’m working on another tale in the same setting (post global warming sea level rise, Balkanization of the US, 2060 AD or so), but this one deals with sexbots. In the tale, a man has gone missing with a stolen sexbot. All such bots have AI and a GPS system. Our thief has disabled the GPS and believes he can’t be traced. And he might be right, if he were a long distance away from Fairfield, CT, where the story is set. But he’s holed up within a few miles of there.
What he doesn’t know is that there is a backup locator system. My question is, what might this system be? Would the bot switch it on manually via its software when it finds its main GPS disabled? I’d prefer this to be done remotely, by the investigator assigned by the sexbot company, UrDrobot. It's an Easter Egg, you might say.
The bot is only partially assembled – our thief just wants the, uh, naughty bits and related hardware. So whatever backup system it has must be integral to the bot's functionality.
That’s it in a nutshell… let me know if you have questions. Lord knows I sure do.
A while back I asked you to consider the ramifications of termites taking over your mind. That worked out well for me, with the story being accepted for publication here:
http://www.electricspec.com/issues/volume-5-issue-1-february-28-2010/original-position-by-a-l-sirois.asp For which, thanks!
I’m working on another tale in the same setting (post global warming sea level rise, Balkanization of the US, 2060 AD or so), but this one deals with sexbots. In the tale, a man has gone missing with a stolen sexbot. All such bots have AI and a GPS system. Our thief has disabled the GPS and believes he can’t be traced. And he might be right, if he were a long distance away from Fairfield, CT, where the story is set. But he’s holed up within a few miles of there.
What he doesn’t know is that there is a backup locator system. My question is, what might this system be? Would the bot switch it on manually via its software when it finds its main GPS disabled? I’d prefer this to be done remotely, by the investigator assigned by the sexbot company, UrDrobot. It's an Easter Egg, you might say.
The bot is only partially assembled – our thief just wants the, uh, naughty bits and related hardware. So whatever backup system it has must be integral to the bot's functionality.
That’s it in a nutshell… let me know if you have questions. Lord knows I sure do.
Maybe the bot is programmed to activate whenever it's not being observed and scribble grafitti that points to its coordinates? The investigators follow a trail of grafitti...
Maybe the bot can shed atomic level tracer particles from its skin that can be picked up with a special scanner?
Maybe when the bot is... ergh, "used" it transfers the heat and friction of use into a way to power a back up GPS beacon?
Maybe the bot can communicate wirelessly with other bots in the area, and it forms a sort of network of communication that the investigators can track back to it.
posted by codacorolla at 9:27 AM on August 4, 2010
Maybe the bot can shed atomic level tracer particles from its skin that can be picked up with a special scanner?
Maybe when the bot is... ergh, "used" it transfers the heat and friction of use into a way to power a back up GPS beacon?
Maybe the bot can communicate wirelessly with other bots in the area, and it forms a sort of network of communication that the investigators can track back to it.
posted by codacorolla at 9:27 AM on August 4, 2010
What he doesn’t know is that there is a backup locator system. My question is, what might this system be?
In the ass of course.
If the system has an AI, it could be as simple as the AI reporting it was being kidnapped. It could this in any number of ways, depending on what parts of it have been assembled. It could tap out morse code with its butt, via the phone. It could link up the internet if it's communication network is in place and make a naughty phone date a sexbot repair person.
Maybe it doesn't want to be found, just sends a note saying, it's ok and safe and to take care. Sexbots are strange that way.
posted by nomadicink at 9:33 AM on August 4, 2010
In the ass of course.
If the system has an AI, it could be as simple as the AI reporting it was being kidnapped. It could this in any number of ways, depending on what parts of it have been assembled. It could tap out morse code with its butt, via the phone. It could link up the internet if it's communication network is in place and make a naughty phone date a sexbot repair person.
Maybe it doesn't want to be found, just sends a note saying, it's ok and safe and to take care. Sexbots are strange that way.
posted by nomadicink at 9:33 AM on August 4, 2010
Best answer: GPS systems are receive-only. If you want to locate something using GPS, you need a cellular radio link so that it can transmit its location. In your story you could say that the person removed the GPS antenna such that it can no longer locate itself, but they didn't disable the cellular link, and the company was still able to get a location by using triangulation of the received signal strength at each of the towers in range. (Moral of the story: if you want to disable a tracking device, go for the cellular antenna not the GPS antenna.)
posted by Rhomboid at 9:39 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by Rhomboid at 9:39 AM on August 4, 2010
Best answer: Hmmm... the old backup/backdoor plot device.
Maybe, unbeknownst to the sexbot clients, the bots are monitored for stress. If these bots are costly enough, the owners would want to have systems that would signal if a client was taking liberties with the bot. By 2060, an AI could be strong enough to sense and signal distress, even soemthing as subtle as being abducted away from where it is "supposed to be."
Now to make it unremovable... well...
By 2060 it would be a resonable leap to pose conductive polymers with embedded electronic properties that would make a realistic "naughty bit" that could simulate sex by contracting actuators like muscles and activate naughty bit glands to, um, complete the sensory experience. When I say "embedded" I mean the electronics are throughout the polymer material and unremovable. The same embedded electronics can contain the AI smart enough to detect stress/abuse and signal for help.
How about something like that?
posted by cross_impact at 9:42 AM on August 4, 2010
Maybe, unbeknownst to the sexbot clients, the bots are monitored for stress. If these bots are costly enough, the owners would want to have systems that would signal if a client was taking liberties with the bot. By 2060, an AI could be strong enough to sense and signal distress, even soemthing as subtle as being abducted away from where it is "supposed to be."
Now to make it unremovable... well...
By 2060 it would be a resonable leap to pose conductive polymers with embedded electronic properties that would make a realistic "naughty bit" that could simulate sex by contracting actuators like muscles and activate naughty bit glands to, um, complete the sensory experience. When I say "embedded" I mean the electronics are throughout the polymer material and unremovable. The same embedded electronics can contain the AI smart enough to detect stress/abuse and signal for help.
How about something like that?
posted by cross_impact at 9:42 AM on August 4, 2010
Four words for you, buddy: clitoris as homing beacon.
The joke being, of course, that our clueless sexbot-thief is exactly the sort of guy who wouldn't know how to find that thing anyway, even if it sent out pings.
posted by Asparagirl at 9:49 AM on August 4, 2010
The joke being, of course, that our clueless sexbot-thief is exactly the sort of guy who wouldn't know how to find that thing anyway, even if it sent out pings.
posted by Asparagirl at 9:49 AM on August 4, 2010
Everything will have IP network connectivity. A bot doesn't want wires, so it will be wireless. Even current computers can estimate their location based on what wireless access points they are able to see (like Apple's CoreLocation does). The bot is able to guess roughly where it is, and then updates its Twitter feed or blog or sends a message somehow. You can come up with a means to activate it.
posted by procrastination at 9:51 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by procrastination at 9:51 AM on August 4, 2010
The sexbots have a convoluted rental system--cost per hour, plus insurance, plus "mileage" for kink or BDSM, plus a fee for each client climax. It's all remotely logged and reported and billed.
Because there are almighty dollars involved, and because this isn't the first tech-pervert they're run into, the unit keeps a black box record, but it broadcasts an RF signal with billing codes. This way the business owners can generate accurate and precise revenue forecasts. The LoJack functionality is just an added bonus—an RF signal can then be triangulated by company engineers.
It's totally separate from the AI, because really, who wants to think about all the other things that junk does while it's not in pleasure mode? It helps keep the AI simpler and more client-focused.
posted by infinitewindow at 9:56 AM on August 4, 2010
Because there are almighty dollars involved, and because this isn't the first tech-pervert they're run into, the unit keeps a black box record, but it broadcasts an RF signal with billing codes. This way the business owners can generate accurate and precise revenue forecasts. The LoJack functionality is just an added bonus—an RF signal can then be triangulated by company engineers.
It's totally separate from the AI, because really, who wants to think about all the other things that junk does while it's not in pleasure mode? It helps keep the AI simpler and more client-focused.
posted by infinitewindow at 9:56 AM on August 4, 2010
Response by poster: I love you guys.
The bot in question is "female," so it has female genitalia.
Lots to think about and some great sick humor. Keep 'em "coming," and I'll post a Best Of here ASAP.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 10:09 AM on August 4, 2010
The bot in question is "female," so it has female genitalia.
Lots to think about and some great sick humor. Keep 'em "coming," and I'll post a Best Of here ASAP.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 10:09 AM on August 4, 2010
The sexbot could emit pheromones that not only keep the client (or in this case the thief) interested, but leave a scent trail that could be sniffed out bloodhound style (with real bloodhounds, or robots, or any other cool sci-fi gizmo of course).
posted by chrisulonic at 10:10 AM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by chrisulonic at 10:10 AM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
You could have it "trap" the offender when its GPS tracking is disabled for a certain ammount of time. That makes me wince just typing it.
posted by codacorolla at 10:23 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by codacorolla at 10:23 AM on August 4, 2010
The sexbot, desperate for true companionship, has been using its wireless connection to obsessively visit personal sites under the "appliance seeking other" category. She has gone on a few dates with a combination washer/dryer unit, which becomes worried and calls authorities when the sexbot goes missing.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:32 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:32 AM on August 4, 2010
procrastination: "Everything will have IP network connectivity. A bot doesn't want wires, so it will be wireless. Even current computers can estimate their location based on what wireless access points they are able to see (like Apple's CoreLocation does). The bot is able to guess roughly where it is, and then updates its Twitter feed or blog or sends a message somehow. You can come up with a means to activate it."
Yeah, I would go with something like that - maybe even simpler: the bot automatically searches for software updates at regular intervals; it will normally choose the computer from a cluster of servers that is closest and thus has the fastest connection. The detective asks the company to push small updates, looking for the serial number the bot authenticates with and checking which servers it will download the updates from.
The explanation why the update functionality isn't simply disabled by the thief? Because then the robot would go into "reduced functionality" mode after a while.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 10:40 AM on August 4, 2010
Yeah, I would go with something like that - maybe even simpler: the bot automatically searches for software updates at regular intervals; it will normally choose the computer from a cluster of servers that is closest and thus has the fastest connection. The detective asks the company to push small updates, looking for the serial number the bot authenticates with and checking which servers it will download the updates from.
The explanation why the update functionality isn't simply disabled by the thief? Because then the robot would go into "reduced functionality" mode after a while.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 10:40 AM on August 4, 2010
Rhomboid's answer is definitely the best, IMO, and if he hadn't posted it I would have. Removing the GPS chip or whatever is exactly the sort of thing you could find guides for online, and not understanding triangulation (which is how cell phone calls to 911 are localized) is the sort of mistake that's highly believable in a petty thief.
posted by kavasa at 10:43 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by kavasa at 10:43 AM on August 4, 2010
It has "vibrate" settings that shift into the ultrasonic to send out a homing beacon that can only be heard by the manufacturer's eavesdropping equipment (or dogs).
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:48 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:48 AM on August 4, 2010
wifi. Every 15 minutes it searches for a wifi signal. If it gets one, it attempts to log on, could even have encryption cracking for unauthorized access. Would create story tension, as it would not be continous, so they would have a short fix then nothing.
posted by Ironmouth at 11:01 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by Ironmouth at 11:01 AM on August 4, 2010
Any quality sexbot will have motion sensors which can trivially be used as a crude inertial guidance system, assuming the Eros3 Data-Uplink System is still active.
posted by chairface at 11:02 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by chairface at 11:02 AM on August 4, 2010
I would say it can peer network with other sexbots in the area. Turns out the house next door to where he's holed up, which happens to be where $famous_conservative_politician lives, also has a sexbot.
I hope he's staying in Bridgeport.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 11:28 AM on August 4, 2010
I hope he's staying in Bridgeport.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 11:28 AM on August 4, 2010
I have one word for you: taint
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:34 AM on August 4, 2010
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:34 AM on August 4, 2010
Response by poster: Romboid does have a good answer -- except that our thief works in the factory where the bots are made (he's been stealing parts). Even though he's a line worker/assembler (I'm taking off on the recent "slave labor" reports in Chinese factories building Apple products -- hence the irony of humans building robots because they are actually cheaper as labor), he might well be aware of this (triangulation). Or not... But it is certainly well worth considering, and I will.
I suspect I will use bits of several answers.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:35 AM on August 4, 2010
I suspect I will use bits of several answers.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:35 AM on August 4, 2010
Best answer: I'd suggest that the backup locator isn't actually for finding the robot, it's for finding the robot's power supply in the event of a catastrophic accident which causes the robot to be destroyed. The reason the thief doesn't know about it is because the power supplies are manufactured off site due to potentially dangerous materials contained within (these same materials are the reason it's essential to have a locator attached to the powercell; for cleanup/ recovery).
Because the emergency locator uses a more powerful than typical broadcast beacon, it is off by default, so as to not interfere with any other functions, but can be turned on by the powercell manufacturer. This is a fact that they try to be discreet about as they don't want customers being worried about the potentially dangerous stuff powering their... friend.
posted by quin at 1:43 PM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Because the emergency locator uses a more powerful than typical broadcast beacon, it is off by default, so as to not interfere with any other functions, but can be turned on by the powercell manufacturer. This is a fact that they try to be discreet about as they don't want customers being worried about the potentially dangerous stuff powering their... friend.
posted by quin at 1:43 PM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Well, it might have components originally engineered for the DirtyTalk710 model, which has repurposed cellphone parts allowing you to call it from the office and warm it up. There are bound to be undocumented features, which may include supplementary vibration and/or GPS locator service.
Some near-future dystopian fifteen-year-old prank-calls a random number, and lo!
LO.
posted by Sallyfur at 4:33 PM on August 4, 2010
Some near-future dystopian fifteen-year-old prank-calls a random number, and lo!
LO.
posted by Sallyfur at 4:33 PM on August 4, 2010
Response by poster: Three "winners," but some great contributions from others, and as I said I will probably use bits of several answers. Thank you all so much, and I will be back to post a link when the story sells.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 5:52 AM on August 5, 2010
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 5:52 AM on August 5, 2010
Response by poster: I'm happy to announce that I have sold this story, and it will be appearing online at Electric Spec, supposedly due to go live on February 28, 2011. Thanks, everyone!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 7:14 AM on February 6, 2011
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 7:14 AM on February 6, 2011
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/straightface
posted by Chipmazing at 9:24 AM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]