"I've had this since I was 1."

July 21, 2010 12:28 PM

What to get for a first birthday?

With a first birthday coming up, I'd like to get a gift "with meaning".
I'm sure the clothes, toys, etc, will be well covered, so I'm looking for something that perhaps would have more significance when the child is older, since at this age, chewing on the box a gift came in is far more entertaining than the gift itself.

Suggestions have include a bottle of wine from the birth year to be drunk on the 18th birthday (champagne? Scotch?), a christening cup (although there is no christening), a silver spoon. All of these are good and along the right lines, but not quite the "it" I am looking for.
--
Caveats:
I am the father.
Baby girl.
Standard middle-class budget, something slightly expensive is ok, but please no $5000 Tiffany baby rattles.
Leaning more symbolic than practical but if it fits both, that's great.
Something that can be transported (planting a tree in the yard is great, but if it's not your yard in 5 years...)
I'm not really all that handy/crafty, so constructing a collage or hand-carving a teething ring isn't likely to happen.
Pacific Northwest, U.S.A.
--

posted by madajb to Human Relations (29 answers total)

Savings bond for college.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:31 PM on July 21, 2010

Start the college fund, if you haven't already, and put some money it. Best gift I never got.
posted by two lights above the sea at 12:31 PM on July 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

If you go with the wine thing - make sure it's a bottle that can withstand 18 years. That's a long time to age a typical wine. Scotch might be a better idea.

What about something from now that will be a "memory", or I guess more like a time capsule, for what she's older? I was recently going through some old stuff with my mom, and I was really touched to discover that she'd kept various paraphernalia from my birth and baptism, little tokens from my babyhood, crafts I made in preschool, and all that jazz. I'd seen some old family stuff before, but she'd clearly stashed away some super special secret things I didn't know she had till recently.

Obviously that's not a present, per se, but maybe where the gift part comes in is that you give yourself the time to set aside and properly preserve some of this stuff? And then it's a gift you actually give to her when she's old enough? In the meantime, she can play with the box the photo album comes in.
posted by Sara C. at 12:37 PM on July 21, 2010

Three thoughts:

1. A really nice item of furniture, like a wall mirror. That way you can take it with you if you move -- and it will mean a lot to your daughter to have something like that that is truly hers and always has been.

2. Open a stock account in your daughter's name or start a college savings plan.

3. Get something your daughter would love right now, e.g. something from this list, and personalize it with her name.
posted by bearwife at 12:41 PM on July 21, 2010

Buy your daughter a share of stock. I got a gift similar to this and it had me interested all through high school and into my professional life.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:41 PM on July 21, 2010

A gold coin minted in the year of birth. Or more practically the savings bond
posted by moochoo at 12:43 PM on July 21, 2010

This isn't quite the same, but on my first Christmas, my dad decided to make a point to go out by himself (no help from mom!) and pick out a special "Christmas" dress for me (his first/only daughter.) It was a tradition he kept up until I was in my later high school years.

I always thought it was super sweet and the fact that he made an effort to choose the dress all by himself each year meant a lot to me. Of course I don't still have them all, but the first one is lovingly packed away in the attic with other keepsakes.
posted by saucy at 12:43 PM on July 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

How about instead of something to drink, a piece of jewelry that you can give her when she graduates from high school/turns 18, along with writing her a letter to give her that day, about how you feel about her at 1?

Or, start a tradition you can carry out each year - buy her a christmas tree ornament, or a tool, or take her someplace special, take a picture, and put it in a book that can be updated every year. Maybe a new ballpark every year if you like baseball - then you can make it into bigger trips later. (there's nothing you can do better than spending time).

(I buy my baby a book for everything important and write in it, just a paragraph, about what I feel at that moment. Sometimes the books are children picture books, sometimes they are other books I'll hope she loves later. I think she'll appreciate that one day, and it is a tradition already!)
posted by dpx.mfx at 12:46 PM on July 21, 2010

Is there any sort of children's book or movie that uses your child's name? For my grand-niece's first birthday next month, I bought her a collected volume of the Kay Thompson Eloise storybooks because Eloise is my grand-niece's middle name (and yes, I know she can't use it yet, but I wanted to be first out of the gate giving it to her and she's sure to get too much stuff for her birthday anyway and won't register the one that's put away for now). I'm planning to get her a Eloise doll next year, and maybe an Eloise movie the next year, and so forth. In the past I've given nice editions of Emily of New Moon and Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm to my nieces of those names. Of course this idea won't work if there aren't any decent books that have a namesake character, but if it does work it's a nice to have.
posted by orange swan at 12:49 PM on July 21, 2010

A piece of jewellery with her birthstone.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:53 PM on July 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Enh, I wouldn't do jewelry unless you have a really great eye for that sort of thing. My father means well; he's always trying to buy me jewelry for gift-giving occasions - and he always gets it wrong. I love him dearly, and I keep every piece, but they're never anything I'd wear. And I can't even imagine the sorts of things he'd have picked out when I was little. I mean, at least what he gives me now is good quality and fashionable enough. I'm not sure I'd like the obligation to wear 20 year old accessories bought by someone with no particular interest in jewelry.

Not to mention, what if she grows up to be a tomboy who lacks even the most perfunctory "my dad means well and I should be polite" appreciation for that sort of thing?

Giving her something with a letter is an awesome idea, though. Maybe the scotch? I'd by seriously psyched if my dad handed me a bottle of 30 year old Laphroig next year with a letter from himself, circa 1982.
posted by Sara C. at 12:59 PM on July 21, 2010

Duplos. A life-long love of Legos is the gift that keeps on giving.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 1:05 PM on July 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

If you want to go with a bottle of something, Port is traditional.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:13 PM on July 21, 2010

Response by poster: The college fund is well under way and I believe the godparents are taking care of the savings bond.

I do like the idea of a letter, but I'd like to pass it along with something.

*I wonder if I could use this post:*
Daughter,
Please stop hitting the keyboard while I am posting to AskMe.
Father
posted by madajb at 1:33 PM on July 21, 2010

I'm going to suggest that buying alcohol is as tricky as getting meaningful jewelry . . . you may end up with a grown daughter like me who likes a lot of liquor and wine, but hates Scotch and port.

Here's another thought -- a photo of you and your daughter, very nicely framed. (Or done professionally, even.) Like dpx.mfx's suggestions, that's something you could do every year.
posted by bearwife at 1:33 PM on July 21, 2010

How about a photo album with pictures of your daughter with you, other family members, etc.? You can include pictures of when she was a tiny newborn to the (presumably) active crawler/almost walker she is now. I made a pretty big photo album for my niece's first birthday (160 to 200 photos or so?) containing photos from her being a few hours old to a week before her first birthday. I also did funny captions for them (that was a lot of work!). I called the album "Auntie presents: [niece]'s first year in photos!" It was intended to be a visual record of her first year of life. I didn't include ultrasound photos or pregnant mom photos, but you're probably in a better position to do that. :> And you can make the album as big/small as you want.
posted by foxjacket at 1:34 PM on July 21, 2010

I have a silver ID bracelet that somebody gave me when I was very young. The chain has more than one ring for the clasp, so it has fit me from the time I was about two up until now. The name plate is tiny and fit very nicely on my chubby little arm and looks very elegant now. I think the key to it's longevity is the fact that it is very simple, just a small plate with my name on it. There are no heart cutouts or little jewels so it matches everything and still fits my personality because it's so simple.

Books are also a really great gift, especially something that you love and will read to her.
posted by TooFewShoes at 1:39 PM on July 21, 2010

Start a tradition of buying her a charm for a charm bracelet for birthdays and holidays. If possible, don't skimp: try to buy vintage or higher-quality charms, particularly with moving parts (book that opens, bike wheels turn, etc.)

For my son's first birthday, I bought him a really amazing handmade jointed wooden toy elephant. (Its similar to this one, but I think ours is quite a bit bigger.) He played with it when he was younger, and now its in his room. He still plays with it some, and knows that it was the present he got for his first birthday from his Mama. My hope is that its a toy that he'll pass on to his own children, just as I have dolls that belonged to my mother when she was a child in the '30s and 40s.
posted by anastasiav at 2:03 PM on July 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

I like the letter idea, but a video would be even cooler. Yeah, you'd have to make sure it's still playable in 17 years (maybe on film?), but I'd find it invaluable if I had something like that from my mother.

I also like the "every birthday" tradition thing, but I'm not sure charms are the way to go.
posted by coolguymichael at 2:54 PM on July 21, 2010

Coming from the perspective of somebody whose father recently died, I like the idea of a letter or something about *you* that gives her a window back on that period on her life.

More practical, a bond or investment would be nice. Maybe with the stipulation for higher education? I know people who've had trust funds set aside for them and instead of using it for college have instead blown it on personal spending.
posted by green_flash at 4:54 PM on July 21, 2010

How about an amazing copy of a great book (and it's not too early to start reading it to her)? And then do it again, and again and again?

Our daughter received her Grandfather's 1929 edition of Bambi around that age, and we've read it twice now (she's six) and she still loves it (it is a GREAT book to read aloud, too). I found a nice hardcover copy of Bambi's Children too, and it was her special Christmas gift from me last year. Reading chapter books has become "our thing" together over the years, and so finding the most beautiful copy of a book that I can and reading it with her has become my special gift. It started with Charlotte's Web when she was close to two, and then it was more about the sound of my voice droning her to sleep, I guess - but now it's time to talk about the illustrators and to learn and to relate our lives to the stories. And she and I like the quiet time together very, very much, now that we have entered some very contentious years. We just finished My Side of the Mountain and she loved the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe so much that she asked for me to re-read it to her immediately. We have a special bookshelf for the ones that are dearest to her heart, and she doesn't put them there without careful consideration. It's my hope that in years to come, when she looks back on our relationship, that this is what she remembers more than all the knots I had to comb out of her hair or all the times I told her to pick up her dirty clothes. And my parents never read to me, and I'd like to give that to her.

So, I'd say find a nice edition (and I like Bookfinders.com) and read her your favourite books from your childhood and then visit some classics together - I'd say a beautifully illustrated book of Robert Louis Stevenson's poems could be a good start too. We visit ours often. I've also found some wonderfully illustrated Grimm's Fairy Tales (they can get gruesome for little ones though). But, starting a nice library that she can use her whole life long, and then share with any potential posterity would be a lovely thing to do. And she would always have a good memory of you.
posted by peagood at 6:29 PM on July 21, 2010

Ack - I mean, "And my parents never read to me, and I'd like to give the gift of reading to her". Also - I was reading by six, and she's just getting to now - but while I do wish she'd be hungrier to read like I was, I don't begrudge her the time and energy I spend at all. It is a lot of work to read out loud well, and I feel like it's a muscle I've learned to flex.
posted by peagood at 6:32 PM on July 21, 2010

I commissioned a smallish, beautiful quilt made for a 2 year-old's birthday. You can browse Etsy for artists with a similar taste as yours, and also request a little cloth tag with a special note handstitched to it. The artist I chose just posted the little story about the quilt here.

Quilts are great because smaller ones work as blankies for little ones, so they have meaning to the kid herself (whereas a wine bottle won't mean much to an eleven year old) as she grows up. Plenty of people wind up taking childhood mementos like blankies and favorite stuffed animals to college and beyond.
posted by zoomorphic at 8:31 PM on July 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

My dad got me an illustrated edition of little women when I was little girl. He signed an inscription and read it to me. It's still one of my prized possessions.
posted by bananafish at 12:01 AM on July 22, 2010

I don't suppose you have any family heirloom jewelry or the like you might be able to pass on? I would also suggest something with her birthstone, and definitely something not alcholic. I generally do not enjoy alcohol very much, and with some expensive bottle of Scotch or port, I'd end up looking for a friend to offload it on, sadly.

I have a ring that my grandmother gave my mother. Mom and I share a birthstone; the ring is set in yellow gold, which I do not particularly care for, but I cherish that ring quite a lot. It's not particularly valuable monetarily, either, just a lot of sentimental value.

It's impossible to really judge what your daughter will value when she's still just a baby, but it's hard to go wrong with something that ties back to familial connections, I think!

And definitely do the letter.
posted by asciident at 12:17 AM on July 22, 2010

I like the picture idea. I'd recommend a picture you take of her related to something she enjoys or that you enjoy doing with her. I know she's 1 but you must know she likes being outside or held in such a way or your yellow polo. My dad died when I was 21 and I still have a picture he took of me eating donut holes when I was a toddler. We used to always wake up early on Saturdays and eat donuts together so it means a lot to me.
posted by ShadePlant at 7:08 AM on July 22, 2010

Response by poster: orange swan - There are not, so far as I am aware, many books with her name as a character. Perhaps that's a question for another AskMe though. heh.

bearwife - I love the furniture idea, but her grandparents have already stolen that one.

peagood - Reading is excellent, but right now all she manages to do is chew on the books. A great idea for later though.

moochoo - She did get a fancy piggy-bank from the grandparents...
posted by madajb at 9:18 AM on July 22, 2010

I like the idea of writing her a letter every year for her birthday, and sealing it up.
my dad collected pennies with my birth year all my life, and gave me a handful when I got married.
but I would love to have a stack of letters, esp now that he is gone.
I also like the idea of a charm bracelet, and adding a charm each birthday.
she could wear the charms however she wanted, so its pretty flexible.
perhaps you could also take a photo, just you and her, every year, and include it with the letter.
posted by saragoodman3 at 2:17 PM on August 19, 2010

Response by poster: Thanks for the ideas.
I've written a letter (appropriately enough at 2 in the morning) and am on the lookout for a nice wooden box to collect the next 17.
posted by madajb at 3:06 PM on August 29, 2010