baby not a sleeping beauty.
July 5, 2010 11:51 AM Subscribe
How do I teach the baby to sleep without me?
My 14 month old is a very lovely baby. He is sweet and funny.
I still breastfeed him. Because I have a 3 year old as well, I never taught the baby to sleep on his own since I was always too tired to go through the pain of teaching him to fall asleep on his own and soothe himself.
The only way he falls asleep is sucking boobie. And he needs it in the middle of the night whenever he has an itch.
Now I have to go away for a weekend.
The boy has never taken a bottle or a pacifier.
What can I do? or better.....
what can my husband do?
My 14 month old is a very lovely baby. He is sweet and funny.
I still breastfeed him. Because I have a 3 year old as well, I never taught the baby to sleep on his own since I was always too tired to go through the pain of teaching him to fall asleep on his own and soothe himself.
The only way he falls asleep is sucking boobie. And he needs it in the middle of the night whenever he has an itch.
Now I have to go away for a weekend.
The boy has never taken a bottle or a pacifier.
What can I do? or better.....
what can my husband do?
Your husband can't do much unless you start pumping and get your wee one onto a bottle. Introduce a soother. Or (here it comes...) start moving him to solids.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:09 PM on July 5, 2010
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:09 PM on July 5, 2010
Response by poster: I'm trying to get into university.
The admission process consists of a 2 day workshop, after which the best candidates will be given access.
It's simply impossible to go there with a baby.
posted by uauage at 12:11 PM on July 5, 2010
The admission process consists of a 2 day workshop, after which the best candidates will be given access.
It's simply impossible to go there with a baby.
posted by uauage at 12:11 PM on July 5, 2010
Response by poster: He is already on solids. He eats everything. I think the breastmilk is by now 20% nutrition 80% comfort for him.
He gags on pacifiers... I've thought of dipping a dummy in syrup but that'd be the fast lane to rotten teeth, isn't it?
posted by uauage at 12:14 PM on July 5, 2010
He gags on pacifiers... I've thought of dipping a dummy in syrup but that'd be the fast lane to rotten teeth, isn't it?
posted by uauage at 12:14 PM on July 5, 2010
How many times a day do you breastfeed him? If it's more than once, I would introduce a bottle for one of those feedings, and then attempt to rock/dance/soothe him to sleep. If not, intro it alongside one of his solid feedings, so he gets the hang of it. Some kids figure it out right away, while others need a few attempts.
Is his night waking a usual thing? At 14 months, the general consensus seems to be that he's not waking for hunger, but for comfort. Next time, get your husband to try soothing him back to sleep, with or without a bottle.
I definitely would not use a pacifier dipped in syrup.
posted by sillymama at 12:29 PM on July 5, 2010
Is his night waking a usual thing? At 14 months, the general consensus seems to be that he's not waking for hunger, but for comfort. Next time, get your husband to try soothing him back to sleep, with or without a bottle.
I definitely would not use a pacifier dipped in syrup.
posted by sillymama at 12:29 PM on July 5, 2010
Pump some breast milk and dip the pacifier in that? You will eventually have to wean him off the breast-to-sleep habit anyway, so start tonight. Good luck. I know changing the sleep habits of children can be quite a project sometimes.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:31 PM on July 5, 2010
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:31 PM on July 5, 2010
My still-nursing 14 month old will take a baby bottle with plain room-temperature water in it for those middle-of-night stirrings -- I have done it a few times when I've had injuries that need healing. You can give it to him to play with during he day so he can learn to use it and you can see if you need to make the nipple hole bigger so he doesn't have to work too hard. My baby won't suck on a pacifier, so try them both -- if one doesn't work, maybe the other will.
posted by xo at 12:32 PM on July 5, 2010
posted by xo at 12:32 PM on July 5, 2010
Try giving him a cow's milk bottle during the day. Your husband should be able to put him down with one. Start trying now.
While you're away, pump and dump (transporting breastmilk is a PITA.)
posted by k8t at 1:27 PM on July 5, 2010
While you're away, pump and dump (transporting breastmilk is a PITA.)
posted by k8t at 1:27 PM on July 5, 2010
Best answer: When are you going to be away?
A 14 month-old baby shouldn't be waking up in the middle of the night to eat, and you should start weaning him off that habit regardless. He's old enough to eat his meals during the day, and you'll be grateful to get an uninterrupted night of sleep! If this time away is happening this weekend, it could be a jarring wake-up call for everyone because he hasn't been prepared. Start now, as in tonight, by not feeding him to sleep. If you can, increase his solids a little at dinner, breastfeed him a little before bed, but don't let him fall asleep on the boob. You (or preferably, your husband, since he'll be flying solo soon) can hold him and rock him or do whatever else you guys need to soothe him to sleep, but resolve yourself: no boob at bedtime. As each day progresses you can move the breastfeeding a little further from bedtime. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, do the same routine. He might be hungry, but probably more just seeking comfort and reassurance. The next day he might make up for the lack of the nighttime feeding by eating more. Hopefully by the end of the week his diet will compensate for the absence of midnight feedings.
posted by zoomorphic at 1:54 PM on July 5, 2010
A 14 month-old baby shouldn't be waking up in the middle of the night to eat, and you should start weaning him off that habit regardless. He's old enough to eat his meals during the day, and you'll be grateful to get an uninterrupted night of sleep! If this time away is happening this weekend, it could be a jarring wake-up call for everyone because he hasn't been prepared. Start now, as in tonight, by not feeding him to sleep. If you can, increase his solids a little at dinner, breastfeed him a little before bed, but don't let him fall asleep on the boob. You (or preferably, your husband, since he'll be flying solo soon) can hold him and rock him or do whatever else you guys need to soothe him to sleep, but resolve yourself: no boob at bedtime. As each day progresses you can move the breastfeeding a little further from bedtime. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, do the same routine. He might be hungry, but probably more just seeking comfort and reassurance. The next day he might make up for the lack of the nighttime feeding by eating more. Hopefully by the end of the week his diet will compensate for the absence of midnight feedings.
posted by zoomorphic at 1:54 PM on July 5, 2010
It seems you have a few different issues here...
Would you like to pump or introduce cow’s milk?
Bottle or sippy cup?
Do you want to teach the baby to stop waking up altogether, or just stop giving him boobie when he does wake?
Also, how much time do you have before the trip?
If you clarified some of these things, we can give more helpful suggestions.
posted by yawper at 2:01 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
Would you like to pump or introduce cow’s milk?
Bottle or sippy cup?
Do you want to teach the baby to stop waking up altogether, or just stop giving him boobie when he does wake?
Also, how much time do you have before the trip?
If you clarified some of these things, we can give more helpful suggestions.
posted by yawper at 2:01 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My daughter didn't mature into her current sleeping pattern until she was more than 20 months old. She literally never slept through the night until then. So I understand where you are coming from. My husband also had to sometimes take care of her when I was out of town, and it was hard for them. Sometimes the little ones just want mommy. For our daughter, night-nursing was about having me there. I don't think it was about being hungry or thirsty, because having my husband give her food or drink just woke her up further. He had the best results by laying down next to her until she fell back to sleep. This was how he got her to sleep in the first place, too. She wanted someone there.
They might end up a little sleep deprived without you. Good luck on the university entrance, though!
posted by Knowyournuts at 2:22 PM on July 5, 2010
They might end up a little sleep deprived without you. Good luck on the university entrance, though!
posted by Knowyournuts at 2:22 PM on July 5, 2010
Best answer: Based on personal experience I'd vote for cold turkey and let your husband work it out. I see no reason for you to change your routine ahead of time if you are happy with it.
Over the last 7 months my wife has often been away for work and our little one (now 2) is still nursing. I just tell her that Mama's away, so no Mama milk tonight. While the wife's away the little one will often wake up in the night and then cuddle up with me in our bed. She never used a bottle but I can give her a sippy cup of water during the night, and she drinks cow milk in a sippy cup before bed. My wife pumps and dumps while she's gone and when she gets back the two of them just pick up where they left off. The longest trip so far has been 5 nights.
The first night my wife was away wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either. I'm sure the two of them will do fine.
posted by Cuke at 6:09 PM on July 5, 2010
Over the last 7 months my wife has often been away for work and our little one (now 2) is still nursing. I just tell her that Mama's away, so no Mama milk tonight. While the wife's away the little one will often wake up in the night and then cuddle up with me in our bed. She never used a bottle but I can give her a sippy cup of water during the night, and she drinks cow milk in a sippy cup before bed. My wife pumps and dumps while she's gone and when she gets back the two of them just pick up where they left off. The longest trip so far has been 5 nights.
The first night my wife was away wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either. I'm sure the two of them will do fine.
posted by Cuke at 6:09 PM on July 5, 2010
As the father of two kids who are very attached to their mother (as they should be) and who used to wake up all through the night to breastfeed (we co-sleep), I say don't worry about it.
Sure, thee may be some drama if you are not around to feed your son - he may cry all night. Speaking from experience, it may be tough for your son and your husband, but it's no big deal in the long run.
In these sorts of situations, I generally just held my sons as they cried. Eventually they fell asleep.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:32 PM on July 5, 2010
Sure, thee may be some drama if you are not around to feed your son - he may cry all night. Speaking from experience, it may be tough for your son and your husband, but it's no big deal in the long run.
In these sorts of situations, I generally just held my sons as they cried. Eventually they fell asleep.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:32 PM on July 5, 2010
Response by poster: Thanks for your answers everyone.
As for some clarifications:
I want to keep nursing because of the benefits of extended breastfeeding and because it helps me lose weight. The toddler eats everything the 3 yo eats and sometimes drinks cow's milk from a normal cup. He's never taken a sippy cup nor a bottle. I am (so far) a SAHM so I never needed to give him a bottle and with sippy cups he tried but he learned to bite in order to get something out of them and so he started biting me and that was the end of the sippy cups.
The workshop is in 2 weeks.
My husband is telling me not to worry and that they'll survive. I am still very anxious though.
I don't mind our status quo but I suppose that if we don't do something to change it, it's going to be stressful for everyone.
Will my going away 2 days cause him permanent abandonment trauma?
posted by uauage at 11:23 PM on July 5, 2010
As for some clarifications:
I want to keep nursing because of the benefits of extended breastfeeding and because it helps me lose weight. The toddler eats everything the 3 yo eats and sometimes drinks cow's milk from a normal cup. He's never taken a sippy cup nor a bottle. I am (so far) a SAHM so I never needed to give him a bottle and with sippy cups he tried but he learned to bite in order to get something out of them and so he started biting me and that was the end of the sippy cups.
The workshop is in 2 weeks.
My husband is telling me not to worry and that they'll survive. I am still very anxious though.
I don't mind our status quo but I suppose that if we don't do something to change it, it's going to be stressful for everyone.
Will my going away 2 days cause him permanent abandonment trauma?
posted by uauage at 11:23 PM on July 5, 2010
No, not at all. Not at all.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 6:06 AM on July 6, 2010
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 6:06 AM on July 6, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by kmennie at 12:03 PM on July 5, 2010