Grandparents Prefer the Beach
June 24, 2010 8:39 AM Subscribe
How do I deal with my child's grandparents preferring beach vacations to spending time with my child?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (60 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My daughter's grandparents see us for maybe one full week a year, and the rest of the time we see them for maybe a day or two days at a time. With that, we see them maybe for two weeks out of a year as we live about 10 hours driving time and a time zone away from each other.
When they take vacations, they choose to go to beach locations where they will spend a week or two weeks in preference to spending time with their grandchild. I have repeatedly invited them to stay with us or to visit us, have told them we can plan our vacation time around theirs if they let us know when they would like to come. They never answer my offers either verbally or in writing, and they still go to the beaches.
I don't think they're bad grandparents, and by all other accounts they would seem to love their granddaughter. But they hardly see her, and she's only going to be three once. They are more than happy to have us visit any time, but we do not have the financial means to make more than the one trip and each year is a stretch as to whether we can even go, where they do have the means to make several trips and regularly travel past us on their way to the beaches and "stop in" for a day or two on their way in or out. This makes it all the more hurtful because it shows to me that they're willing to make the trip here for the beaches, but are only stopping by because we happen to be on the way. I am sure if we didn't happen to live along their route, they wouldn't even make the effort to visit.
I do not believe at this point that their vacations will change and believe this is the way it will be. How do I stop being upset by this?
I also worry that in a few years, my daughter will begin to wonder why Papaw and Mamaw only come for a day or two at a time and don't know how to begin answering those questions.
(To the mods, anonymous because of the number of people on the site known elsewhere.)