tattoo to remind you of something?

June 13, 2010 2:12 AM

Is it a good idea to get a tattoo if you want to be reminded of something for the rest of your life? - the briefness and fragility of life.

I always liked the look of tattoos, but never really thought that I'd commit to having one thing on me.

However, recent events have made a big impression on me. I want to be reminded that life is short and you can die anytime - you have to live it to the full.

This is the second time something I've been around has blown up..and it's too easy after a while to just go back to normal routines, meandering through life without that sense of the ephemeral nature of life, which is scary and empowering.

I don't foresee any problems with jobs, and like the look of tattoos.

I really want to hear peoples thoughts before I settle on it. Anyone done it for similar reasons and liked/regretted it?

posted by Not Supplied to Grab Bag (29 answers total)

I had one on my 44th birthday - it's of a particular meaningful symbol to remind me of why I'd managed to get to the age of 44. I have never regretted it.
posted by essexjan at 2:24 AM on June 13, 2010

I got a tattoo when I lived in Budapest in 2002, specifically to remember the time. It does it's job, and I've never regretted it.

Remembering the transience of life is a good thing. I'd say go for it.
posted by kaibutsu at 2:26 AM on June 13, 2010

I got one on my honeymoon 18 years ago with a symbol that reminds me of making that transition. I also don't regret it. It reminds me of being a certain age and having a certain outlook on life.

I would say, though, to be very tasteful about it and think carefully about where it is on your body. Do you want others to see it while you're at the pool? How about when you're dressed formally? Casually? Those decisions are important.
posted by crapples at 2:28 AM on June 13, 2010

I say no. It won't make you remember that, and it will probably have an aesthetic you will one day outgrow. Plus, when you're old, it will be blurry and distorted.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 2:29 AM on June 13, 2010

you want to be reminded of something for the rest of your life? - the briefness and fragility of life.

Keep getting the same temporary tattoo until you are dead; have it replaced with a permanent version when you are as death is neither.
posted by prak at 3:02 AM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Everything blurs and distorts with age.

Your feelings are exactly what tattoos are for. Traditionally tattoos have been used to commemorate events in life, record successful hunts, captured prisoners, battles won. Rites of passage and the transition from boy to man etc. Use them like cub scout badges.
posted by fire&wings at 3:07 AM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

I have white tattoos to commemorate different things in my life. I see them as a little like fragile lace work, and the white is subtle and delicate.
posted by honey-barbara at 3:15 AM on June 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

I have several tattoos. I regretted only two, which were both done by the same artist and were sub-par. (Sidebar: I design my own tattoos and then try to find an artist to do/interpret my designs. I am an artist, but not a tattoo-artist. Some inkers don't like doing other people's work, and in my cases, it showed.)

The two I regretted were small enough for me to cover with larger, better tattoos. But I still can "see" them, and though I regretted their looks I don't regret getting them.
posted by kidelo at 3:53 AM on June 13, 2010

It got a couple of tattoos when I was 30. It's been 7 years, and I haven't regretted it yet.

Seconding kidelo's suggestion to find a *good* artist to do it. Look at samples of their work. I found mine by asking everyone I saw with a tattoo I liked (after complimenting it) who did the work.
posted by kyrademon at 4:04 AM on June 13, 2010

I got a tattoo seven years ago to remind myself to embrace change. It does indeed remind me of that, although if I could do it over I would research more carefully what the character itself meant. It doesn't mean what the artist told me it meant. Bit the sentiment for getting it is definitely something I'm reminded of.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 5:52 AM on June 13, 2010

Forgetting about the frailty of life is pretty much what we need to do to get through another year. I don't think a tattoo will be any more helpful, and maybe less, then putting a stickit note on your bathroom mirror. I have nothing against tattoos, but you should get a tattoo if you want a tattoo. If you want to remember something, there are lots of options, many probably better.
posted by Salamandrous at 6:08 AM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

I love tattoos and have a few, but once something is part of your body you don't really notice it anymore. So the meaningful song lyric I have inked in between my shoulder blades doesn't remind me of the reasons I got it in the first place or perk me up when I'm down (unless someone asks me about it).

That said, get the tattoo anyway; it'll be great.
posted by tetralix at 6:21 AM on June 13, 2010

every tattoo i have i got for a special reason/reminder (i have 8). each one i thought about for a year before i went ahead and got it. years later, i don't regret any of them. my most important one takes up most of my back, and it is still my favorite thing about my body. i say go for it, wholeheartedly. but keep in mind that tattoos can be addicting.
posted by assasinatdbeauty at 6:29 AM on June 13, 2010

Like others have said, this is one of the most classic, enduring and traditional reasons to get a tattoo.
posted by box at 6:39 AM on June 13, 2010

Response by poster: Thanks for the answers. People that said yes, do you think there's anything about your tattoo that makes it particularly memorable or not likely to just become normal after a while?

If people do have other ideas about how to remember something everyday then please go ahead...I can do that as well if I do decide to go ahead. I don't think sticky notes every day is gonna carry on for very long somehow!
posted by Not Supplied at 7:35 AM on June 13, 2010

Response by poster: People who said yes their one works to remember that is.
posted by Not Supplied at 7:35 AM on June 13, 2010

If people do have other ideas about how to remember something everyday then please go ahead

I do this to remind myself why I write, but it's also a reminder for me to remember what's important and live in the moment, so: you can write out an affirmation/prayer/whatever you want to call it and say it every morning. Think about those things that happened and why they're important to you and what you want to get out of them, write it out, and every morning when you say it, reflect on it. It doesn't have to take more than a few minutes but it has a big effect.

That can sound really cheesy, like a self help book kind of thing, but usually that's because people want their affirmation (or whatever) handed to them, and they feel doubtful or stupid if it's going to work when they recite it. Writing your own is much more personal. Unless you purposely try to make it sound melodramatic and self help-booky because you subconsciously think that's how those things have to sound -- you'd be surprised how common this is -- it's not going to be stupid at all. If it sounds stupid to you then rewrite it; the things you want to be reminded of are not stupid, so don't make the tone of it into something it's not.

If you really want a tattoo and you think it will actually remind you of stuff, go ahead. Personally, I would just get used to the tattoo after a while and take it for granted, plus I'm not a visual person so it would be really easy for me to just glance at it and take in nothing mentally. Making an effort to speak aloud forces me to engage the sort of thoughts I don't want to lose sight of. Tattoos work as reminders for plenty of people, though.
posted by Nattie at 8:29 AM on June 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

That feeling you get, when things blow up, about the shortness and preciousness of life - it's like the gift of something awful. It can be emotional and visceral and I'm not really convinced that there's a way to preserve that aspect of it. Intellectually, abstractly, we all know that and if you imagine hiring someone to tell it to you every day, it would probably start to sound cliche, trite, and annoying very fast. That feeling - it's something else.

For myself, I honestly don't know how desirable it is to have it as part of my every day life, but I can see why other people would feel differently. It seems to me that mindfulness practice somewhat gets to this sense that the moment is what's important and precious. Hearing or reading (on a regular basis) other people's stories that evoke that feeling in you might be useful too.
posted by Salamandrous at 8:36 AM on June 13, 2010

Is it a good idea to get a tattoo if you want to be reminded of something for the rest of your life?

I haven't quite lived the rest of my life yet but the three tattoos I have are for this exact purpose:

1. A Mandala on my chest to remind me of the transient nature of everything (myself included).

2. Text on my forearm to remind me that who I was yesterday and who I will be tomorrow are not nearly as important as who I am (and by extension what I do) today.

3. Text on my left calf to remind me that though luck is not the same for all, my fate is in my hands.

I see them all on a regular basis and though I stopped thinking about them as tattoos after a year or two, they do act as constant reminders to myself. The fact that they will fade and stretch over time just acts a reminder that the body they are affixed to is also fading...
posted by slimepuppy at 8:53 AM on June 13, 2010

@slimepuppy - I'd love to see a pic of tattoo #2 and #3 if you feel comfortable in sharing.
posted by vivzan at 9:38 AM on June 13, 2010

General musings, from a visibly tattoed person: I have several large tattoos. One is not in a "tasteful" place (it's a chestpiece that stretches from my sternum to my collarbones) and is visible almost always, unless I wear very high-necked shirts.

I don't regret it for a moment. It's large. It's beautifully done. It makes me feel that much more beautiful. Though it causes a minor inconvenience while dressing for work, I view this more as evidence of the bullshit assumptions people make about tattooed women. After all, there's nothing offensive about the actual image of my tattoo. It's not gang related, or "trendy" or cutesy. And yet the business world assumes that I'm less-than-professional if I show even a little bit of it. Though I concede to this, so I can make a living, I feel that it's not a problem with me--it's a problem with them.

I do sometimes consider getting my first tattoo covered up, not because I dislike it, but because I didn't really know what I was doing when I had it done. It's thick, solid black lines, and the tattoo artist who I went to wasn't so great and overworked it a bit. I'd love to get the same idea reinterpreted as something more beautiful and artistic. In short, I wish I'd been better informed about tattoo artistry when I was 19. But 99% of the time, I don't even think about it.

Because after awhile, even if your tattoos are large, you don't think of them any more. They're just a part of my body, the way my moles and freckles and belly and toes are. I'm always nervous before I get one--but I never really have second thoughts after. It's my skin--and I only really think about it when someone else brings it to my attention. And, for what it's worth, despite my hemming and hawing about having to cover them for work, the reactions I get from others has been almost entirely positive. Strangers tend to say nice things about tattoos. They want to ask questions, talk about them. I think I've had two people act like judgey mcjudgersons about it, in my seven years of being a tattooed person--and I just figure they're jerks.

So anyway, I think your reasons for wanting to be tattooed are valid, but I think any reasons for wanting to get tattooed are valid. Keep in mind, though, that, after time, they might not remind you of the ephemeral nature of life. Instead, they just become a part of life. More practically, I'd recommend that you really, really research the artist you go to before you get a tattoo. I'd also recommend that you have your artist draw you the tattoo first. I can draw, but tattoo artists know how to draw for the body, which is a world of difference.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:46 AM on June 13, 2010

i have three tattoos, all of which are related to important times/things in my life. i don't regret any of them. none of them show under normal business attire, so i don't have any issues with that.

the only (minor) problem i have with any of them is that two of them are on my back, and so are difficult to see and therefore difficult to remember to get touched up (as you age, gain/lose weight, etc. some designs will start to look a little fuzzy).

that said, there have been incredibly important, life-changing events that i have NOT marked with a tattoo, and i don't regret that, either.

memory is a funny thing. i think if you've gone through something powerful enough to want to mark it with a tattoo, it will have marked you as permanently as any tattoo ever could. your memory will change and fade and your understanding of the event will also change as you grow and move through life, but it will always be a part of you, even if you don't think about it consciously every day. tattoo or not, this thing will have changed you.

short of tattooing an obscenity on your forehead that you will probably eternally regret, you are going to get used to it, because it'll become a part of who you are, as much as the event itself. never forgetting something is not the same thing as always being reminded. sometimes it helps to compartmentalize the event in ink on your skin, and use the process of getting used to it as a way to help you get used to the event that it commemorates. a lot of people do that--i think it's a perfectly valid and meaningful coping mechanism, and if you get a good artist, it can also be a wonderful tribute.

i say, get the tattoo if that's what you want, but don't panic when you wake up one morning and realize that it's been a week since either the tattoo or the event it commemorates has crossed your mind. it's a good sign. it means you're getting on with your very precious life.
posted by thinkingwoman at 11:23 AM on June 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

This may be neither here nor there but I thought I'd chime in with my tattoo experience. I recently got my first, on the right side of my torso. It is large, it is beautiful and I love it. However, it doesn't really mean much to me except that it's gorgeous (two songbirds perched on a branch). I'd been agonizing over where and what to get tattooed for about six years, intent on finding the perfect object that said "who" I was. When I finally gave this up and just decided on something beautiful, that is when I was able to get the tattoo, and I think is a large contributor to me feeling absolutely no buyer's remorse about it. In other words, my tattoo is lovely, and I'm not worried that the feelings I had about getting it are going to change down the road and I'll regret it. I absolutely understand and respect people who get tattoos for significant reasons, but for me, removing the weight of significance is what made the tattoo most desirable and possible. Also, nthing that I often forget I have it, even though i can see mine fairly easily without a mirror.
posted by Polyhymnia at 11:35 AM on June 13, 2010

It all seems like a mostly-permanent decision being made in a temporary state of mind. You will possibly feel differently about it later in life. Any tattoo will almost always have some negative outcome in some situation in life. There must be a better way to remember this sentimental moment; how about a nice plaque or picture up in your office.

Full disclosure: I have a 1 inch wide and almost 3/4 centimeter high blister that runs all the way around my right leg from my eighth laser tattoo removal session yesterday.
posted by I love You at 11:55 AM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

I was going to get one when I was around 20 (18 years ago) and now I'm really, really glad I didn't. Not least because every other middle-class 20-something in the Western World has one these days.
posted by rhymer at 1:23 PM on June 13, 2010

I've been getting tattoos since 1993. I have 5 which I have had enlarged and expanded along the way. Most of them are quite large and in very visible places, and they haven't caused me any problems personally or professionally. Perhaps since I have been tatttooed for literally all of my adult life, I have (subconsciously? intentionally?) ordered my life in such a way that they are not, in any way, an issue to anyone. I'm planning another one as soon I can afford it.*

I think it's pretty standard to get tatttoos to mark important and/or life-changing events. Ditto for religious or spiritual symbols that mean a lot to you. Most of mine were done under such circumstances. I don't regret a single one, even though some of the symbols and meanings are not as important to me at this point in my life. I have grown and changed my opinions in any number of ways over the last several decades, and sometimes tattoos can get caught in that kind of crossfire. Rather than regret them, though, I can now see them as a personal history, a road map of who I have been and how my personal development has taken shape. This is something I treasure. Funnily enough, ALL of them have come to mean something quite different to me than they did when I first got them. This was unexpected, but it's not a negative. I would say that I have learned quite a bit about myself by examining and re-examining the things I found so important that I had to engrave them on my skin.

*On the flip side, I am now interested in getting something that has no real significance one way or the other. I'm working on a design that is pure art for art's sake.
posted by Eumachia L F at 1:27 PM on June 13, 2010

When I moved away from NYC after nine years, I got the key to the city tattooed on my back to remind me that I could come back. It sounds stupid, but it has been an immense source of comfort for me.
posted by millipede at 6:54 AM on June 14, 2010

Response by poster: Thanks for all the answers, it's really helped. Best answers all round.

I reckon I will do it. If it looks good I don't think I'll regret it.
posted by Not Supplied at 11:19 AM on June 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I'm thinking of getting a bright lava-coloured band round my upper arm, with black edges.
posted by Not Supplied at 1:57 PM on June 17, 2010