Here we go again

May 5, 2010 1:12 PM

Why are dating sites so retarded?

Hey, I'm talking specifically about plenty of fish.. anyone use this?

I haven't tried the other ones just cause this one is free....... But I don't think the "you get what you pay for" applies here.

POF seems to cater to a specific "type" of girl who I encounter in real life all the time. Kinda hot, but really bitter and sees ugly guys as.. well, ugly guys.

I don't know if I'm just picking the wrong ones to send a message to, but after a day on it.. I feel like there's a vibe to all the women. This fake positivity.. it seems like it's a cult..

I guess all sites are like that.

I mean... in real life, some girls actually are just.. whatevers. The guys doesn't need to be like "Hello! I love to work out, go to the gym, blah blah"

But on here, you gotta. It's so corny and stupid.. and the thing is, in real life, I know so many good lookin cool people who not only are they not like they, but that stupid fake positivity is a turn off because everyone knows that behind all that they're just as mundane as everyone else.


When are dating sites gonna start feeling real???

Never..

Umm so what's my question.. Oh yeah.. POF.. anyone use... and feel like it is a cult?

posted by Like its 1997 to Human Relations (16 answers total)

Nope!
posted by unixrat at 1:15 PM on May 5, 2010

Try OkCupid. It has tests that gauge personality things and matches based on similarities. It's also free. POF is run by a creepy guy, apropos of nothing.
posted by disillusioned at 1:15 PM on May 5, 2010

While your frustrations are understandable, this looks awfully ChatFilter to me.
posted by Rallon at 1:15 PM on May 5, 2010 [3 favorites]

I think you're probably a bit too charming for most on-line dating sites. You should avoid them.
posted by bondcliff at 1:16 PM on May 5, 2010 [25 favorites]

I'm not quite sure what you're asking here nor have I been on that site.

It's all who you pick, what your profile says, how you communicate online, on the phone, in person. Maybe you're choosing the wrong people? You're going for the hotties who are really ugly inside?

I don't know because like anywhere, it has to work because people wind up in long term relationships, marry, etc. Hell, I did.

And note, dating sites aren't about a guarantee of a match, just an outlet to get a match.

I think the question need to be reworked. But cult? No way. If anything, some are more serious than others. FriendFinder for example---one night stands. Match--maybe a mix of FriendFinder and a regular dating site. EHarmony--branded for the serious/marriage potential type.

Keep trying other ones. A lot of them have free trials.
posted by stormpooper at 1:17 PM on May 5, 2010

Yeah, no. Good luck.
posted by fixedgear at 1:18 PM on May 5, 2010

I'm a guy. I've used dating sites. I find them frustrating too.

But this is chatfilter.

Figure out a coherent question, and first search this site as there are other posts about dating sites. Try again.
posted by dubitable at 1:19 PM on May 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

POF is crazy, amirite?

Try OkCupid. Seems to do fine at what it says on the tin.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:19 PM on May 5, 2010

A woman on a dating site gets a bazillion emails every day. We can be picky.
posted by Jacqueline at 1:21 PM on May 5, 2010

Hint: perhaps you should start reducing your casual use of words like "retarded."
posted by Madamina at 1:21 PM on May 5, 2010 [5 favorites]

Plenty of Fish has a skanky interface and low rent vibe all around. Plus the URL always looks like it says Plenty Offish to me so I couldn't use it. Was on it for about a week before killing my account and just sticking to OKCupid.
posted by Babblesort at 1:23 PM on May 5, 2010

and before this gets closed up, for crying out loud, don't use the word retarded like that. It's really, really offensive. I think I cringed audibly.
posted by changeling at 1:23 PM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Trust me, if this is real, you want to be fake.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:25 PM on May 5, 2010 [5 favorites]

Also, it took me some time to parse this: and the thing is, in real life, I know so many good lookin cool people who not only are they not like they, but that stupid fake positivity is a turn off because everyone knows that behind all that they're just as mundane as everyone else.

You may want to try dating these real life people. Or, if you're going to stick with the online discourse thing, pay a little more to things like punctuation and sentence structure.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:26 PM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

This may be the worst AskMe question I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot.
posted by The Michael The at 1:27 PM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Your question is "Does anyone else use Plenty of Fish and feel like it's a cult?" You're asking... for a headcount of people who agree with you. Why? This is not what AskMe is for.

Also, stop saying "retarded."
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 1:27 PM on May 5, 2010