Why is the world so big? How do I make it smaller?
April 25, 2010 8:42 PM Subscribe
What do you do when the people you love and care about live very far apart? Is there a way to live a multi-city life, or should I just grow up, pick relationships to prioritize, and resign myself to seeing everyone else a few weeks out of the year?
posted by shaun uh to human relations (23 answers total) 36 users marked this as a favorite
I feel like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, after he was attacked by flying monkeys. There are pieces of me here, pieces of me there, pieces of me everywhere...
My parents, who I love very dearly and get along with very well, live in one city, along with my only sibling. My boyfriend of over a year lives in another city. And most of my friends, including my best friends of many years (who are about to have a baby!) live in yet another city. These cities are far enough apart to make flying between them expensive and draining.
I'm also a fairly ambitious person. I'm between jobs now, and still searching for what I want to do next, so "I need to be in X city to do Y" doesn't factor into things, but it might in the future. (It also might not. I love writing and am interested in nursing, both of which are flexible careers I could do anywhere.)
I find myself wishing desperately for another era in which everyone you know and love lives nearby and you don't have to make these kinds of choices. Of course, in that era we didn't have skype and gchat and email to ease the pain of distance, but regardless - my inability to create a community in one place is really frustrating for me.
I guess this is sort of a multi-part question:
~ Have you experienced this sort of frustration/heart ache? What was your situation, how did you deal with it?
~ What writings (fiction or non-fiction) and music have helped comfort you when dealing with this?
~ Are there career choices or other solutions to this problem? I admit part of why I am drawn to nursing is feeling like maybe I could just move around from city to city whenever I was missing someone too much. But maybe I just need to grow up and pick who I want to be near and understand that people who live far away will just not be part of my life in the same way.