Yet another way parents wreck their children?
March 22, 2010 10:16 AM Subscribe
Follow me inside for a bunch of questions about co-sleeping with an older child.
posted by BlahLaLa to Human Relations (12 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
My husband and I co-sleep with our 7-year-old son, and I'd like to hear from others who do or have done similarly. Here's the backstory:
When my son was a newborn, we did co-sleeping for a few weeks, both in the bed with us and using a co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed. And then, because I wasn't sleeping well, at about two months I put him in his crib. He loved his crib and slept fine there, so we went with that. (I would have gone back to co-sleeping had the crib been a problem for him.)
At some point we transitioned my son to his "big bed" with no problems. But then when he was about four years old, my husband started working a project that kept him away from home Mon-Fri from 5am - 10pm, for seven months. This was a difficult time for my son, who became anxious and sad at basically never seeing his dad from Sunday night till Saturday morning. So we got into a routine where my son would go to sleep in his own bed, and then when my husband and I were ready to go to sleep, we would carry him into our bed. This actually did calm my son, even though he wasn't having real "quality time" with my husband -- the physical closeness seemed to satisfy him. Over time, this gradually changed to where we are now: my 7-year-old falls asleep in my bed, and then eventually my husband and I get in and go to sleep, too.
Why it works: We get "close" time together. My son is a heavy sleeper, so my husband and I can talk, read, have the lights on, etc. after he falls asleep. My son sleeps calmly, so though the bed is crowded he isn't kicking, tossing and turning, etc. And it leads to the most outrageously sweet morning cuddles.
Why it doesn't work: Issues of marital intimacy (my husband and I basically have no alone time in our bed, but we can work around that). It's crowded (there are two cats, also, and no room for a larger bed). I tend to sleep less-well than everyone else.
-- Did you/are you co-sleeping with an older child?
-- If you co-slept with an older child, how did it end? Was the end child-driven or parent-driven? In what manner did you transition your child to their own bed?
-- This is a more abstract question, but I've been thinking a lot about how physically close are we "supposed" to be with our older children. We sleep like a pile of puppies, bodies quite entwined. That's starting to feel a bit weirder to me now that he's getting so big.
-- Can you point me to any references, books, websites, etc. with info for co-sleeping with an older child. My googling is only getting me to the regular co-sleeping info with infants and small children.
I am not looking for criticism of co-sleeping in general. I am looking for advice from people who have actually been there/done that.