When is it the least harmful for kids to divorce?
February 21, 2010 7:53 PM Subscribe
Our kids are 2 and 5. Their mom and I have a marriage that is clearly only lasting because we both love our kids so much and they need us. That said, we do NOT fight, either in front of the kids or alone. We just have a big ol' blank where the love used to be. On a daily basis we just basically ignore each other as much as possible and focus our energies on the kids. I do not foresee this lasting forever. However: When to break up?
posted by anonymous to human relations (40 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Since our marriage is clearly only existing for their benefit, I figure I might as well figure out when divorcing would be least harmful to our kids. As I said before, we do not fight or have much unpleasantness; there is just really no relationship at all. Certainly not physical, nor emotional, and we rarely talk about anything other than our children.
She is a doctor and I work at home, so I provide most daily care. Still, they love all the time they can get with her, so I am loathe to split up now. Once we get divorced, I'm 99% sure that I will get them on the weekdays, and she will get them on the weekends. That's the only feasible way it will happen.
So...How long do I wait?
(And before anybody asks, no I have not discussed this with her. "So when do you think we should split up?" is not really a conversation you have if you don't plan on splitting up immediately. It is just blatantly obvious to me that this relationship has no future in it, and you'll have to take my word for it as far as that is concerned.)