How do condoms break?
February 14, 2010 1:19 PM Subscribe
When condoms break, do they break noticeably or can they have tiny holes?
My girlfriend recently had to stop taking birth control for health reasons. We normally used a condom in addition, but now were stuck with just using condoms. When condoms break, do they break noticeably or can they have tiny holes? We always use condom-safe lubrication and are careful about opening and putting on the condom properly. Also, can condoms leak? And if they do, do they do so noticeably?
My girlfriend recently had to stop taking birth control for health reasons. We normally used a condom in addition, but now were stuck with just using condoms. When condoms break, do they break noticeably or can they have tiny holes? We always use condom-safe lubrication and are careful about opening and putting on the condom properly. Also, can condoms leak? And if they do, do they do so noticeably?
(I meant any of the above in addition to a condom, which I failed at making clear)
posted by brainmouse at 1:36 PM on February 14, 2010
posted by brainmouse at 1:36 PM on February 14, 2010
I recently had to stop taking birth control for health reasons, too and am now relying on condoms alone for contraception, so I understand your concern.
In my experience, condom breaks are usually noticeable--the one time we had a break (back in the birth control days), it was not only visible, but physically palpable, in a "oh my god, why do things suddenly feel much better" sort of way. To my knowledge, and I'm pretty well-read about this sort of thing, leakage is most likely either because you haven't put the condom on correctly (including leaving a space at the tip and squeezing out the air), because you're wearing a condom that's too big (wearing a magnum when it's not necessary), or because you don't hold the base of the condom when you withdrawal at the end of sex, while your penis is still hard. Proper condom use can mitigate most of these risks, but not all of them, of course. Unfortunately, condoms do sometimes fail, even with perfect use. But with perfect use, it's rare--only two in a hundred couples will become pregnant with perfect condom use, which is less risky than typical use of the pill. Make sure you're using condoms that aren't expired and just do a quick visual inspection before you put it on. If something looks funky, toss it and grab a new one. And if anything feels weird, try to stop and check to make sure the condom is okay.
As for the paranoid feelings, for me, going through a few pill-less cycles really helped me feel a bit less paranoid. I chart my periods (at my monthly cycles), and I'm planning on starting to combine condom use with fertility awareness methods as outlined in the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility." Doing things like checking basal body temperature and cervical mucus can help you know exactly when your partner is ovulating, which can really offer a lot of peace-of-mind, too. If that's not enough, try considering a second birth control method: spermicides or the sponge, if you guys can tolerate either (many people can't, just a warning!); the diaphragm or cervical cap; a non-hormonal IUD.
Good luck! It sounds like you guys are careful and conscientious, which is a start. For me, one of the biggest reassurances was talking to other women who had successfully used only condoms for years. The medical community really pushes birth control pills these days as the best method for avoiding pregnancy, which, while it's wonderful for some women, can really help lead to a lot of fear and paranoia if you can't use it.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:41 PM on February 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
In my experience, condom breaks are usually noticeable--the one time we had a break (back in the birth control days), it was not only visible, but physically palpable, in a "oh my god, why do things suddenly feel much better" sort of way. To my knowledge, and I'm pretty well-read about this sort of thing, leakage is most likely either because you haven't put the condom on correctly (including leaving a space at the tip and squeezing out the air), because you're wearing a condom that's too big (wearing a magnum when it's not necessary), or because you don't hold the base of the condom when you withdrawal at the end of sex, while your penis is still hard. Proper condom use can mitigate most of these risks, but not all of them, of course. Unfortunately, condoms do sometimes fail, even with perfect use. But with perfect use, it's rare--only two in a hundred couples will become pregnant with perfect condom use, which is less risky than typical use of the pill. Make sure you're using condoms that aren't expired and just do a quick visual inspection before you put it on. If something looks funky, toss it and grab a new one. And if anything feels weird, try to stop and check to make sure the condom is okay.
As for the paranoid feelings, for me, going through a few pill-less cycles really helped me feel a bit less paranoid. I chart my periods (at my monthly cycles), and I'm planning on starting to combine condom use with fertility awareness methods as outlined in the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility." Doing things like checking basal body temperature and cervical mucus can help you know exactly when your partner is ovulating, which can really offer a lot of peace-of-mind, too. If that's not enough, try considering a second birth control method: spermicides or the sponge, if you guys can tolerate either (many people can't, just a warning!); the diaphragm or cervical cap; a non-hormonal IUD.
Good luck! It sounds like you guys are careful and conscientious, which is a start. For me, one of the biggest reassurances was talking to other women who had successfully used only condoms for years. The medical community really pushes birth control pills these days as the best method for avoiding pregnancy, which, while it's wonderful for some women, can really help lead to a lot of fear and paranoia if you can't use it.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:41 PM on February 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
No, condom failure is not always obvious. Condoms can fail in many ways. They can tear, they can have defects that allow sperm to pass through, they can slip off, or sperm can be pushed out of the opening of the condom.
There are several non-hormonal birth control options that can be combined with a condom. A non-hormonal IUD is one option. A cervical cap is another. Some variation of the rhythm method is another.
posted by jedicus at 1:43 PM on February 14, 2010
There are several non-hormonal birth control options that can be combined with a condom. A non-hormonal IUD is one option. A cervical cap is another. Some variation of the rhythm method is another.
posted by jedicus at 1:43 PM on February 14, 2010
Yes, condoms can break, leak, tear, etc.
Here are some links on best condom practices.
Read up on the best ways to use a condom to reduce the chance that it might leak or tear or break.
But there is always a chance. And if you do notice a leak or a tear or whatever, your girlfriend could take Plan B (emergency contraception) just in case.
However, one could argue that pregnancy is a risk that one takes when one decides to have sex. Good on you for trying to educate yourself.
posted by k8t at 1:45 PM on February 14, 2010
Here are some links on best condom practices.
Read up on the best ways to use a condom to reduce the chance that it might leak or tear or break.
But there is always a chance. And if you do notice a leak or a tear or whatever, your girlfriend could take Plan B (emergency contraception) just in case.
However, one could argue that pregnancy is a risk that one takes when one decides to have sex. Good on you for trying to educate yourself.
posted by k8t at 1:45 PM on February 14, 2010
There's a million ways a condom can break...sometimes they develop a large visible tear and you won't notice at all until you're done. After learning the hard way, I started using vaginal contraceptive films in addition to condoms: quick, easy, unobtrusive, and effective. And, just to make triply sure, always keep a dose of Plan B One-Step in the medicine cabinet. Couldn't hurt!
posted by aquafortis at 1:48 PM on February 14, 2010
posted by aquafortis at 1:48 PM on February 14, 2010
A working condom can't leak - that's essentially the entire point. Good on you for being careful, go for reputable brands, and make sure you watch out for fingernails!
Generally speaking, if the semen has collected in the tip and doesn't appear to be outside at all you're fine, as a tear caused by sexual action is likely to get worse as the act progesses. (don't forget to grip the condom at its base when you're withdrawing, either - as you'll be wanting to remove it after you're on the outside, not before, by accident)
One thing to remember though. Lube and vaginal fluids can accrue on the outside of a condom during sex, which might look a bit like like semen. Generally speaking, this is normal, but it can be disconcerting. If you are particularly concerned, and can't spot any obvious leaks or tears, try washing and filling the condom with water to check for leaks. If water can't get through, semen can't (a fact lost on numerous South African health officials, but I digress). Water testing is how the companies themselves test representative condoms from each batch.
If it does leak, it might be time to hink about Plan B, as mentioned above. But don't get paranoid until you have to, if you see what I mean.
posted by Sparx at 1:59 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Generally speaking, if the semen has collected in the tip and doesn't appear to be outside at all you're fine, as a tear caused by sexual action is likely to get worse as the act progesses. (don't forget to grip the condom at its base when you're withdrawing, either - as you'll be wanting to remove it after you're on the outside, not before, by accident)
One thing to remember though. Lube and vaginal fluids can accrue on the outside of a condom during sex, which might look a bit like like semen. Generally speaking, this is normal, but it can be disconcerting. If you are particularly concerned, and can't spot any obvious leaks or tears, try washing and filling the condom with water to check for leaks. If water can't get through, semen can't (a fact lost on numerous South African health officials, but I digress). Water testing is how the companies themselves test representative condoms from each batch.
If it does leak, it might be time to hink about Plan B, as mentioned above. But don't get paranoid until you have to, if you see what I mean.
posted by Sparx at 1:59 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
People will have all sorts of anecdotal horror stories and I'm sure they're real, but infrequent. Condom breaks are generally very obvious upon withdrawl. During coitus, they may or may not be noticeable, but they're nearly always in complete tatters.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:19 PM on February 14, 2010
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:19 PM on February 14, 2010
try polyurethane condoms, which are supposed to be more break-resistant and immune to damage from oil-based lubricants like the ones that destroy latex condoms. they are also thinner, more sensitive and more heat-conductive, and, supposedly even less porous than latex. they are also much more expensive than latex - like twice as much - although if you like them and they work, you'll be better about using them faithfully and correctly.
Durex Avanti is the most common brand that you should be able to find in any walgreens.
posted by toodleydoodley at 3:49 PM on February 14, 2010
Durex Avanti is the most common brand that you should be able to find in any walgreens.
posted by toodleydoodley at 3:49 PM on February 14, 2010
if it all the sudden starts to feel really good, it's always best to pull out and check.
posted by any major dude at 4:55 PM on February 14, 2010
posted by any major dude at 4:55 PM on February 14, 2010
Big, messy breaks. 2nding keeping ECP (Plan B) around just in case. (And be prepared for it to make her totally batshit nuts; it'll pass.)
posted by NoraReed at 5:28 PM on February 14, 2010
posted by NoraReed at 5:28 PM on February 14, 2010
N'thing that it's almost always a dramatic tear. Feeling around the base of your dick every now and then isn't a bad idea to check that things haven't rolled down or up.
posted by crabintheocean at 7:29 PM on February 14, 2010
posted by crabintheocean at 7:29 PM on February 14, 2010
Do not use polyurethane condoms. I have no idea who says they are tougher than latex but they are the only condoms I've ever had break, twice. I mean they feel great otherwise I wouldn't have given them a second chance, but no more.
posted by Wood at 9:56 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Wood at 9:56 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
The only condom breaks I've ever had were rather dramatic and ended up with the condom imitating a ring of latex. Observe the best practices for condoms- the two breaks I had were when I didn't observe said practices.
And Nthing the plan B. Kind of irked her that I was asking about it all day the next day, but it worked out ok.
posted by Hactar at 12:01 AM on February 15, 2010
And Nthing the plan B. Kind of irked her that I was asking about it all day the next day, but it worked out ok.
posted by Hactar at 12:01 AM on February 15, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by brainmouse at 1:35 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]