How do I keep the daily grind from grinding me down?
February 2, 2010 2:09 PM Subscribe
How do you keep a mediocre job/work environment from getting you down?
The very very basic version: I have a job. It's a pretty decent job. However, I don't love it or think I'm particularly good at it or feel like it's a good fit. On a good day, I'm generally okay with that. On a bad day, it can really make me feel lousy and defeated, and it kills my motivation. And when my morale is low, it tends to keep spiraling downward, and it affects how well I do on the job and sometimes spills over into the rest of my life.
I know the answer is, ultimately, to get a new job. That's my eventual goal. However, I'm well aware that dream jobs are in short supply even in the best of times, and sometimes you have to put up with something you're not in love with so you can pay the bills, or to open doors to better opportunities.
So, I'm looking for suggestions on how to feel better and do better at my job, - either the job I'm in now or any future job that's less than ideal. I'd like advice on (1) how to remain confident and optimistic when my brain's grumbling "this job sucks and I suck at it," and (2) ways to focus and motivate myself to do my work and do it well, despite low morale. I've never been great at either of these in general, and they're that much harder to do when there's not much to get confident or motivated about. Specific suggestions are great, especially if they've worked for you in the past.
The rest of my life is pretty good - in other words, this isn't depression manifesting itself as work anxiety, and I'm not looking for suggestions that aren't related to work.
Thanks as always!
The very very basic version: I have a job. It's a pretty decent job. However, I don't love it or think I'm particularly good at it or feel like it's a good fit. On a good day, I'm generally okay with that. On a bad day, it can really make me feel lousy and defeated, and it kills my motivation. And when my morale is low, it tends to keep spiraling downward, and it affects how well I do on the job and sometimes spills over into the rest of my life.
I know the answer is, ultimately, to get a new job. That's my eventual goal. However, I'm well aware that dream jobs are in short supply even in the best of times, and sometimes you have to put up with something you're not in love with so you can pay the bills, or to open doors to better opportunities.
So, I'm looking for suggestions on how to feel better and do better at my job, - either the job I'm in now or any future job that's less than ideal. I'd like advice on (1) how to remain confident and optimistic when my brain's grumbling "this job sucks and I suck at it," and (2) ways to focus and motivate myself to do my work and do it well, despite low morale. I've never been great at either of these in general, and they're that much harder to do when there's not much to get confident or motivated about. Specific suggestions are great, especially if they've worked for you in the past.
The rest of my life is pretty good - in other words, this isn't depression manifesting itself as work anxiety, and I'm not looking for suggestions that aren't related to work.
Thanks as always!
My solution is to enjoy the people I work with. Try to always be smiley, appear happy (even if you aren't), be joyful, kind and considerate. Pump them up. Tell them how great they are. Tell them what a joy it is working with them. Usually, some of that will come back your way. If you are spending your time focusing on what is good about the work environment, you have less time to be consumed with teh suck.
Every day when we roll over in bed and put our feet on the floor we have a decision to make. Are we going to let this be a bad day or a good day. We have the opportunity every single morning to make the most of that individual day. If we start out the day grumbling and not wanting to go to work, chances are the day will suck. But if we make an effort to put the best foot forward, it helps with motivation. Other people notice it too, and a positive attitude tends to rub off.
Also, no matter what always do your best. Your best will change from moment to moment, depending on your health, but if you make every effort, you can avoid self-doubt, self-abuse, and regret.
I've mentioned this fable from this book before, but I think it helps with questions like yours:
There was a man who wanted to transcend his suffering so he went to a Buddhist temple to find a Master to help him. He asked, "Master, if I meditate four hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?"
The Master looked at him and said, "If you meditate four hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in ten years." Thinking he could do better the man then said, "Oh, Master, what if I meditated eight hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?" The Master looked at him and said, " If you meditate eight hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in twenty years."
"But why will it take me longer if I meditate more?", the man asked. The Master replied, "You are not here to sacrifice your joy or your life. You are here to live, to be happy, and to love. If you can do your best in two hours of meditation, but you spend eight hours instead, you will only grow tired, miss the point, and you won't enjoy your life. Do your best and perhaps you will learn that no matter how long you meditate, you can live, love and be happy."
posted by netbros at 2:47 PM on February 2, 2010 [10 favorites]
Every day when we roll over in bed and put our feet on the floor we have a decision to make. Are we going to let this be a bad day or a good day. We have the opportunity every single morning to make the most of that individual day. If we start out the day grumbling and not wanting to go to work, chances are the day will suck. But if we make an effort to put the best foot forward, it helps with motivation. Other people notice it too, and a positive attitude tends to rub off.
Also, no matter what always do your best. Your best will change from moment to moment, depending on your health, but if you make every effort, you can avoid self-doubt, self-abuse, and regret.
I've mentioned this fable from this book before, but I think it helps with questions like yours:
There was a man who wanted to transcend his suffering so he went to a Buddhist temple to find a Master to help him. He asked, "Master, if I meditate four hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?"
The Master looked at him and said, "If you meditate four hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in ten years." Thinking he could do better the man then said, "Oh, Master, what if I meditated eight hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?" The Master looked at him and said, " If you meditate eight hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in twenty years."
"But why will it take me longer if I meditate more?", the man asked. The Master replied, "You are not here to sacrifice your joy or your life. You are here to live, to be happy, and to love. If you can do your best in two hours of meditation, but you spend eight hours instead, you will only grow tired, miss the point, and you won't enjoy your life. Do your best and perhaps you will learn that no matter how long you meditate, you can live, love and be happy."
posted by netbros at 2:47 PM on February 2, 2010 [10 favorites]
I’ve always had problems at jobs, but it was because I was working for someone else (and they controlled the time and schedule, environment, etc.). So at my last full-time job this was what I did to motivate myself, but please keep in my mind that I had other goals (I was planning to create my own business – and it was related to what I did at that workplace environment.) With that in mind, here are a few things that helped keep motivated:
• If you are really bored with what you are doing or would like to learn new skill sets, can you talk to your boss (“I would like to work on project X” or “learn how to make X”). If your boss is open to it, you can at least get projects that you are interested in doing or learn something new along the way.
• Find a way to get a class that will benefit either you or you and your coworkers. Is there a skill that one of your coworker has that many other people do not (and would love to learn?) It may be as easy as asking a boss to bless the idea, use the lunch hour to do this, and have that person teach the skill for a few weeks. It may help motivate yourself to learn new things for your present job and future jobs.
• Go to lunch at least once a week or every few weeks with your coworkers. Motivate/brainstorm about ways to make things better (do they want a class? [as a group you can ask for training] are they looking for a job?). Or did any of these coworkers do anything that you want to learn about and can get from their experience? Play “pick your brain” at lunch and get this info. Or just have fun … but building those connections may help for future jobs.
• If the stuff you are doing is sometimes mind numbing/doesn’t take high concentration, listen to a podcast … about other skills that you want to learn, how to run your own business, etc. Or it can be fun ... the news, a story, etc.
• If these things really fail, you may just need to step away. Go to the gym at lunch. Or go on a walk. Write a story. Whatever, just get out of the environment.
posted by Wolfster at 3:19 PM on February 2, 2010
• If you are really bored with what you are doing or would like to learn new skill sets, can you talk to your boss (“I would like to work on project X” or “learn how to make X”). If your boss is open to it, you can at least get projects that you are interested in doing or learn something new along the way.
• Find a way to get a class that will benefit either you or you and your coworkers. Is there a skill that one of your coworker has that many other people do not (and would love to learn?) It may be as easy as asking a boss to bless the idea, use the lunch hour to do this, and have that person teach the skill for a few weeks. It may help motivate yourself to learn new things for your present job and future jobs.
• Go to lunch at least once a week or every few weeks with your coworkers. Motivate/brainstorm about ways to make things better (do they want a class? [as a group you can ask for training] are they looking for a job?). Or did any of these coworkers do anything that you want to learn about and can get from their experience? Play “pick your brain” at lunch and get this info. Or just have fun … but building those connections may help for future jobs.
• If the stuff you are doing is sometimes mind numbing/doesn’t take high concentration, listen to a podcast … about other skills that you want to learn, how to run your own business, etc. Or it can be fun ... the news, a story, etc.
• If these things really fail, you may just need to step away. Go to the gym at lunch. Or go on a walk. Write a story. Whatever, just get out of the environment.
posted by Wolfster at 3:19 PM on February 2, 2010
1. Don't suck at your job. It is hard to feel good about a job if you don't feel good about your own work. See if you can figure out what you need to learn and try to learn it a way that is as portable as possible.
2. Make a list (IN WRITING, not in your head) of all the good things about your job. Include the things that the money from the job is making possible in your life. Make the list as long as possible. Post it somewhere where you will see it regularly. Don't let yourself dwell on the thought that this job sucks -as soon as you notice the thought, start rehearsing all the good things about it. It is an OK job for now and you are choosing to stay there for now for a reason. This was your choice - don't whine, focus on the benefits.
posted by metahawk at 3:49 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
2. Make a list (IN WRITING, not in your head) of all the good things about your job. Include the things that the money from the job is making possible in your life. Make the list as long as possible. Post it somewhere where you will see it regularly. Don't let yourself dwell on the thought that this job sucks -as soon as you notice the thought, start rehearsing all the good things about it. It is an OK job for now and you are choosing to stay there for now for a reason. This was your choice - don't whine, focus on the benefits.
posted by metahawk at 3:49 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Try breaking it down. Saying "This job sux." isn't helpful for you, or for us trying to help you. But if you can identify specific things about your job that grate on you, then you might be able to find ways to change them. (And help us give you better answers! Yay!) Alternatively, you could also find things that you DO like about your job, and focus on those. Here are some ideas to start, but I'm sure you can think of more:
The amount of work: Too much? Too little?
The type of work: Too challenging? Not challenging enough? Not the skills you want to be using?
Management: Not enough support/resources? Bureaucracy? Expectations too high/not high enough?
Coworkers: Dependable? Drain morale? Gossip?
Hours: Too many? Not enough? Bad schedule?
Compensation: Enough money? Long commute? Sacrifices outside of work?
Future: Opportunities for advancement/promotion? Training/education? Means to accomplish long-term dreams/goals?
Good luck.
posted by sambosambo at 2:00 AM on February 3, 2010
The amount of work: Too much? Too little?
The type of work: Too challenging? Not challenging enough? Not the skills you want to be using?
Management: Not enough support/resources? Bureaucracy? Expectations too high/not high enough?
Coworkers: Dependable? Drain morale? Gossip?
Hours: Too many? Not enough? Bad schedule?
Compensation: Enough money? Long commute? Sacrifices outside of work?
Future: Opportunities for advancement/promotion? Training/education? Means to accomplish long-term dreams/goals?
Good luck.
posted by sambosambo at 2:00 AM on February 3, 2010
This is something that helps me at times
Motivation V.I.T.A.L.S
Validate
Imagine
Take small steps
Applaud Yourself
Lighten the load
Sweeten the pot
Alternatively, if it's getting really hard to start something/some project, realize that your feeling of doom has to do with the first step and not really the whole project. Hence, isolate the feeling from the first step and then note the actual action. You'll soon realize that the next step was different from what you imagined it to be.
Finally, the worst case scenario: Give yourself time to feel bad. Maybe you're just trying to rush through your feelings and having a hard time accepting your feelings. Tell yourself, okay, i'm allowed to sulk for the next 5 minutes.
Finally, if all else fails, go see a shrink, it may help more than not.
posted by iNfo.Pump at 7:26 PM on February 3, 2010
Motivation V.I.T.A.L.S
Validate
Imagine
Take small steps
Applaud Yourself
Lighten the load
Sweeten the pot
Alternatively, if it's getting really hard to start something/some project, realize that your feeling of doom has to do with the first step and not really the whole project. Hence, isolate the feeling from the first step and then note the actual action. You'll soon realize that the next step was different from what you imagined it to be.
Finally, the worst case scenario: Give yourself time to feel bad. Maybe you're just trying to rush through your feelings and having a hard time accepting your feelings. Tell yourself, okay, i'm allowed to sulk for the next 5 minutes.
Finally, if all else fails, go see a shrink, it may help more than not.
posted by iNfo.Pump at 7:26 PM on February 3, 2010
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Learn something at your current bad job that will add to your skillset and resume for your future job search.
posted by seppyk at 2:16 PM on February 2, 2010 [3 favorites]