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Where is the tasteful porn?
January 27, 2010 5:50 PM   Subscribe

Please recommend some porn sites that present women and sex in a healthy, mature, beautiful, non-degrading way. Non-prurient interest is explained inside. Obviously NSFW.

I hope this question is appropriate for AskMe. Mods, please delete otherwise.

A female friend has started a conversation with me about porn. She's trying to figure out what she thinks about it, and wanted to hear my thoughts. Among other things, I explained that while I do look at porn, I dislike the sperm-gargling, gaping-asshole, piss-drinking mentality that characterizes a lot of mainstream porn these days, and would like to see more stuff that approaches sex as the beautiful thing it really is.

I'm not out to sway her opinion one way or the other, but I would like to show her the best that porn has to offer, if only to demonstrate that it doesn't have to be vile—that it's possible to depict sex explicitly and yet not exploitatively. I agree that a lot of porn is vile, but I don't think that's inherent in the medium—for whatever reason, that's just the way most pornographers choose to make it.

Two examples of the kind of thing I'm looking for (I don't know the policy on linking to porn sites from MeFi, so figure it out yourself if you're interested):

Abby Winters: Presents happy girls of all shapes and sizes expressing their sexuality on their own terms. They did some guy-girl stuff in the past—often real-life couples having sex on camera—which was brain-meltingly hot because you could tell that everything you were seeing was emotionally and physically real. I think they only do solo and girl-girl stuff now.

I Shot Myself: A site where women (again, of all shapes, sizes, and colors) submit photos of themselves, ranging from simple nudes to explicit sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends.

I'm most interested in stuff that depicts actual sex—solo female porn is a dime a dozen, and it's not really part of the problem at hand (the misogyny and general meatheadedness of mainstream hardcore porn). I'm mainly interested in heterosexual stuff for similar reasons, and also because my friend is avowedly straight (but not narrow).

To summarize: please direct me to porn that shows couples having sex the way real, loving, healthy couples have sex with each other. (This disqualifies most "amateur" porn, which is often made without one party's knowledge, posted as revenge after a breakup, just plain crappy, etc.) All are welcome to respond, but I'd especially like to hear from women. Thanks!
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (15 answers total) 123 users marked this as a favorite
 
You do know that I shot myself has a sister site, yes? I know you ask for mostly couples (and that site seems at first blush to be focused on women=only), but there are some couples' videos in there.

Also, peruse the listings at sites like Babeland or Blowfish. They feature a bit of raunch, yeah, but they also cater to the more artful, tasteful stuff as well.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:56 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, and if you're looking for the written word, you may want to check this site out each month.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:57 PM on January 27, 2010


you could search past winners/nominees of the feminist porn awards: http://www.goodforher.com/fpa_2010
posted by crawfo at 6:09 PM on January 27, 2010


Someone asked the same question recently.
posted by jejune at 6:27 PM on January 27, 2010


depict sex explicitly and yet not exploitatively...Abby Winters: Presents happy girls of all shapes and sizes expressing their sexuality on their own terms.

Not to derail or anything, but there's reason to suspect it's an undeserved reputation.[1] [2] A former employee of ifeelmyself and Abby Winters claims that naive young women are routinely exploited by tempting them with good money for modest exposure, then calculatedly manipulated into escalating into more than they'd initially agreed to.[3] Not like certain sectors of the porn industry haven't been accused of similar, but you did after all want examples of companies that differ.

Comstock produces porn that's heavily oriented to documentary. Interviews with a real couple, intercut with clips of sex with each other.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 6:32 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


ISM has TWO sister sites. Beautiful Agony is the other. (which offers absolutely zero nudity)
posted by mkb at 6:37 PM on January 27, 2010


You may find The Voyeurweb interesting.

It is a very large, moderated photo and video community with the requirement that all postings be of non-professionals and are not posted elsewhere on the internet. The largest portion of the site is free, but a more graphic portion is available for a $25 yearly fee. As is the case here on Metafilter, it is true that even this small financial barrier serves to maintain the relative integrity of the site. (And I'm hoping I can use words like "integrity" with some latitude here as we are talking about internet sex.)

It is also a community of contributors who interact, meet in real life, and function in ways that resemble a (distinctly smudged) mirror of this site...if I may be allowed that broad and very conceptual comparison. I mean this to say that it draws quite literally all kinds of people. Some artfully restrained and some not so. It's very much like seeing everybody you would encounter in the course of a typical day, from the bus driver to the barista, to the senior v.p. and the mysterious bookish girl across the room...only naked and pursuing whatever their particular idea of erotic is. This is both good and bad. Pretty and not. And that is why I think you might find it interesting. Because if it is consistently one thing, it is real. And it represents people as they are, doing what is, for them, exciting. I make no judgment or recommendation of its personal appeal to you or to anyone in particular.

But like MeFi, it displays a spectrum of "ideas" that you may find useful in adding to the range of your discussions.
posted by nickjadlowe at 6:42 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Not to get all web 2.0 on you, but...

fantasti.cc has a range of porn, and to my mind a higher proportion of tasteful, real, sex-positive porn than most of the other porn aggregator sites I've come across.

Also, there's some great porn on tumblr and ffffound as well.
posted by Jon_Evil at 6:53 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Seconding Comstock.

Also, why not watch good porn and save the planet? Fuck for Forest! of course, I think hippies are mad hot, so ymmv.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:00 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


My girlfriend recommends sex is not the enemy which looks to have some interesting imagery. (Note some images are not hetero, and there is a lot of text too...)
posted by arrjay at 8:37 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Nthing Babeland and Blowfish, and adding that you might be happier in general with erotica rather than porn. Thanks to the glorious internets, you can get everything from stills from 1920s stag films to recommendations for particularly erotic art films in detail.
posted by desuetude at 9:22 PM on January 27, 2010


Lust Films.
posted by you're a kitty! at 5:04 PM on January 28, 2010


Seconding Vouyerweb and the associated red clouds site. Also, Indie Nudes is a constant source of graphic stimulation of an arty kind, with a lot of crap mixed in. I find it very relevant to my interests.
posted by fcummins at 3:56 PM on January 29, 2010


Tumblr have recently introduced an erotica directory. A lot of it is the usual "hot girls wearing very little" but there's some very good, sex- and female-positive stuff mixed in there too. In particular, check out sex is not the enemy and bend me over.
posted by fight or flight at 12:56 PM on January 30, 2010


I stumbled upon the work of Andrew Blake a few years ago and would think it'd fit the bill for the most part (though some of his stuff ventures into fetishes like smoking and S&M). He seems to be a real director that shoots things impeccably and it's generally a 60-90 slow-mo shot of attractive women in various sizes doing stuff, mostly lone females masturbating, sometimes two women, sometimes a dude is there as well.

I don't know why everything is in slow-motion, it just is and somehow it's hotter that way. Anyway, it's fairly high brow and respectful and shot in beautiful modern spaces and looks pretty much like a hollywood movie.
posted by mathowie at 10:58 AM on February 1, 2010


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