Which should I start on first - a baby or a new (first) career?
January 5, 2010 11:21 AM Subscribe
29 year-old, typical Gen X-slash-Yer, confused and frankly a bit terrified trying to figure out which she should start on first - a baby or a new (first) career?
posted by kitcat to grab bag (27 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
I'll turn 30 this summer. My husband is 38. We'd like to have 3 children and we'd like to get started fairly soon. Within the next two years. If it gets too late to sqeeze a third child out, we'll adopt.
My husband has been ready for us to get pregnant from day 1, but he's left it up to me to decide when the time is right because he realizes that pregnancy will disrupt my life a great deal more than his.
I have a degree in Useless (thanks to another mefite for that apt description), but will be finished an IT diploma in May 2011 and hope to start my IT career out as a programmer. For now, I work full-time and take night classes. We intend to move permanently to another province in August 2011. My husband has a stable career and makes enough to get us by on one income (supplimented by EI) during my mat leave.
When, oh when, should a woman who is just starting a new career, especially in IT, get pregnant / give birth? If I do it all before I find a job and begin the new career, I'm afraid that I may be regarded as being behind in the latest technology, or out of practice as a new graduate with a sigificant time lapse between the schooling and the job. I'm also afraid that an employer may think twice about hiring a new mother, as she may be tired and distracted. Surely that's discriminatory, but it's still a concern. On the other hand, if I get pregnant after I begin the new job, how soon after? Will I be thought very poorly of (i.e., dishonest) for starting a new job and becoming pregnant shortly thereafter? Could that cost me the trust and respect of my colleagues? I'm sure some of these questions sound really naive and foolish. The truth is, I really, really don't know anything about all of this.
Please, please help me to see how I might time this all out intelligently. I can't wait to start a family, but having a satisfying job and career are extremely important to me too. I want my life to feel settled and stable so that I can be happy with a child and not a constant stress case.
Thanks in advance for your information, advice, stories, etc.