Creative (or deceptive) dating attempt?
December 28, 2009 12:40 PM Subscribe
I asked someone over to review their art portfolio, but I also have designs on asking them out on a date. Tacky or just being creative?
I kept hearing about this person from different friends, and how they thought we should meet, etc but because of odd cross-connections (and unpleasant associations) between those friends (and this person) no one could figure out how to 'introduce' us without it being uncomfortable for said persons.
Taking matters into my own hands I did some Googling and discovered this person's website and their online portfolio. I was blown away by the quality of their work (yes, I'm avoiding his/her deliberately) and saw they'd be perfect for some projects I'm working on.
But I also want to get to know this person and (possibly) ask them on a date. Oy.
Should I come clean right away, or save this set of facts for some future date when we're looking back on the trajectory of the relationship (should one develop) and how it all 'came to be'?
I kept hearing about this person from different friends, and how they thought we should meet, etc but because of odd cross-connections (and unpleasant associations) between those friends (and this person) no one could figure out how to 'introduce' us without it being uncomfortable for said persons.
Taking matters into my own hands I did some Googling and discovered this person's website and their online portfolio. I was blown away by the quality of their work (yes, I'm avoiding his/her deliberately) and saw they'd be perfect for some projects I'm working on.
But I also want to get to know this person and (possibly) ask them on a date. Oy.
Should I come clean right away, or save this set of facts for some future date when we're looking back on the trajectory of the relationship (should one develop) and how it all 'came to be'?
It really depends on the people involved. If you're an older guy, and this is a younger women, you're firmly in Creepville territory. If you're a guy, and it's a same-aged guy you're after, you're less in Creepville (though possibly in Weirdville/Awkwardville).
You run the risk --- no matter what the age/gender/atttractiveness dynamics --- of coming off like a colossal, scheming idiot and lech. I can imagine the conversation between the object of your affection and his/her friends ("He asked me to come over to review my art portfolio ... and then he ASKED ME OUT!" following by a chorus of grossed-out "ewwwwws" by the friends.)
On the other hand, depending on how charming you are and how willing the other person is, this could just become a cute story of a successful love gambit.
It's impossible to know based on what you've told us.
I'm an advocate of just keeping it clean and asking the person out.
posted by jayder at 12:46 PM on December 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
You run the risk --- no matter what the age/gender/atttractiveness dynamics --- of coming off like a colossal, scheming idiot and lech. I can imagine the conversation between the object of your affection and his/her friends ("He asked me to come over to review my art portfolio ... and then he ASKED ME OUT!" following by a chorus of grossed-out "ewwwwws" by the friends.)
On the other hand, depending on how charming you are and how willing the other person is, this could just become a cute story of a successful love gambit.
It's impossible to know based on what you've told us.
I'm an advocate of just keeping it clean and asking the person out.
posted by jayder at 12:46 PM on December 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
Creepy. Two things:
- You don't want to date someone you're working with.
- Why don't you meet this person and actually talk to him or her before worrying about how the dating part would work?
posted by runningwithscissors at 12:50 PM on December 28, 2009
- You don't want to date someone you're working with.
- Why don't you meet this person and actually talk to him or her before worrying about how the dating part would work?
posted by runningwithscissors at 12:50 PM on December 28, 2009
The person is coming over to your house looking for work, not for a date. Don't ask them out right away--either give them work or don't give them work, but let a friendship build on its own.
Tying "I've got work for you" and "I'd like to date you" together is never ever ever a good idea.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:50 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Tying "I've got work for you" and "I'd like to date you" together is never ever ever a good idea.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:50 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm gonna go with Beyond Tacky.
If you're using trickery to lure someone into your lair, you are doing it wrong.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:52 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
If you're using trickery to lure someone into your lair, you are doing it wrong.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:52 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'd choose either professional relationship or social relationship. Otherwise, you are bringing way too many power issues into the picture, and you'll just look like a creep.
posted by Roger Dodger at 12:53 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by Roger Dodger at 12:53 PM on December 28, 2009
Response by poster: LOL! @ smackfu. The upside to this is that should there not be any 'chemistry' between us, I can still utilize the person's artistic abilities, etc.
Thanks jayder. I read your comments and sort of cringed myself. But I'm not a lech. I'm of the same sex as this person and age, etc. so there's symmetry there. The challenge for me is how all of this came to pass initially, amidst the group of friends I mentioned and the various 'challenges' that entailed. It almost killed the thing off from the start, I just took matters into my own hands, and, well, Googled and possibly salvaged.
I like the term 'love gambit' and I'm going to focus on that framework for this happening.
posted by zenpop at 12:53 PM on December 28, 2009
Thanks jayder. I read your comments and sort of cringed myself. But I'm not a lech. I'm of the same sex as this person and age, etc. so there's symmetry there. The challenge for me is how all of this came to pass initially, amidst the group of friends I mentioned and the various 'challenges' that entailed. It almost killed the thing off from the start, I just took matters into my own hands, and, well, Googled and possibly salvaged.
I like the term 'love gambit' and I'm going to focus on that framework for this happening.
posted by zenpop at 12:53 PM on December 28, 2009
Someone recently did *exactly* this to me. The advance was truly unwelcome when it came wrapped in a false pretense, and it made me doubt their stance on my work.
If their work is good and online, contact them on that basis. They didn't put it online so no-one would look at it. Something like "I like your work. Want to get a coffee?".
posted by fake at 12:53 PM on December 28, 2009 [7 favorites]
If their work is good and online, contact them on that basis. They didn't put it online so no-one would look at it. Something like "I like your work. Want to get a coffee?".
posted by fake at 12:53 PM on December 28, 2009 [7 favorites]
I'm not sure if this is tacky or not. But it's kinda a variation on the cliche (with over the top sappy/cheesy voice): "hey baby you wanna come up and see my art collection? (wink wink)". So from that perspective, it's not that creative. And that may be where others' creepville perspectives are coming from.
Maybe one approach is to keep this get together clean (but with an eye for further possibilities). Then IF you move forward you could make a play on the cliche, as in "I kept hearing about you and your work from friends, and so I googled your work (if you've got an online portfolio it's not tacky to say you checked it out if you're in the field), and was blown away, so I knew I had to meet you. I just wanted you to know that, so it's not like [in cheesy voice]: 'hey baby you wanna come over and I'll look over your art collection?' ", and make a joke of it.
This is one of those double roles that needs to be managed actively and openly. In my view double roles are often very rich relationships and so are not necessarily to be avoided. But you're right to notice that they can also be problematic. Particularly in terms of gender/age/power differences.
posted by kch at 12:54 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Maybe one approach is to keep this get together clean (but with an eye for further possibilities). Then IF you move forward you could make a play on the cliche, as in "I kept hearing about you and your work from friends, and so I googled your work (if you've got an online portfolio it's not tacky to say you checked it out if you're in the field), and was blown away, so I knew I had to meet you. I just wanted you to know that, so it's not like [in cheesy voice]: 'hey baby you wanna come over and I'll look over your art collection?' ", and make a joke of it.
This is one of those double roles that needs to be managed actively and openly. In my view double roles are often very rich relationships and so are not necessarily to be avoided. But you're right to notice that they can also be problematic. Particularly in terms of gender/age/power differences.
posted by kch at 12:54 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: @ runningwithscissors. Yes, you're absolutely right, and if I wasn't a human being (with the capacity for self-reflection and awareness of something called 'the future') I would of course proceed in a linear way, step by step, but my mind couldn't help cogitating on the different possibilities, and so I asked the Meta peeps.
posted by zenpop at 12:58 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by zenpop at 12:58 PM on December 28, 2009
Are you asking him/her over to your house? Creepy.
Are you asking him/her over to your office? Possible harassment.
Since the offer was to evaluate their portfolio I would keep it all business and stick to the art review; it's basically a job interview. Don't blow your reputation in your field by having this encounter go south.
posted by shino-boy at 12:59 PM on December 28, 2009
Are you asking him/her over to your office? Possible harassment.
Since the offer was to evaluate their portfolio I would keep it all business and stick to the art review; it's basically a job interview. Don't blow your reputation in your field by having this encounter go south.
posted by shino-boy at 12:59 PM on December 28, 2009
Don't do this. You are putting two lives on a narrow ledge between Lifetime drama and sitcom slapstick. One tiny false move and you'll fall one way or the other and your 'target' will either be laughing at you with friends or commiserating.
posted by Babblesort at 1:02 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by Babblesort at 1:02 PM on December 28, 2009
But I'm not a lech. I'm of the same sex as this person and age, etc. so there's symmetry there.
Neither an age disparity nor being of opposite genders are necessary conditions of being a lech.
Being a lech is taking an interaction that should be about something else (like finding work) and turning it into an interaction about sex.
If you want to go on a date with this person, ask them on a date. If you want to give them work as an artist, review their portfolio. Mixing the two makes you a lech.
"Love gambit" is the sound of a lech fooling themselves.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:04 PM on December 28, 2009 [7 favorites]
Neither an age disparity nor being of opposite genders are necessary conditions of being a lech.
Being a lech is taking an interaction that should be about something else (like finding work) and turning it into an interaction about sex.
If you want to go on a date with this person, ask them on a date. If you want to give them work as an artist, review their portfolio. Mixing the two makes you a lech.
"Love gambit" is the sound of a lech fooling themselves.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:04 PM on December 28, 2009 [7 favorites]
Oh oh
I vote Deceptive/Tacky. I would hate if my work were used for ulterior motives (and there would be, for just this reason, a 99.9% chance of me not accepting).
The advance was truly unwelcome when it came wrapped in a false pretense, and it made me doubt their stance on my work.
Yes to the above (only for me, in the conditional, and hopefully kept in the conditional).
posted by lhude sing cuccu at 1:04 PM on December 28, 2009
I vote Deceptive/Tacky. I would hate if my work were used for ulterior motives (and there would be, for just this reason, a 99.9% chance of me not accepting).
The advance was truly unwelcome when it came wrapped in a false pretense, and it made me doubt their stance on my work.
Yes to the above (only for me, in the conditional, and hopefully kept in the conditional).
posted by lhude sing cuccu at 1:04 PM on December 28, 2009
Response by poster: I think I should have clarified in my initial post that I'm not asking this person out the moment they set foot in my office/home. I genuinely want to see their work, etc. and then after a social connection is established see where it goes from there.
I don't have problems 'dating' someone I also work with -- I'm an artist myself and live life outside of 'conventional' job scenarios, etc. i.e., I scramble and freelance and have clients, etc. And prefer that to a traditional job situation. So does this person.
I'm seeing I should have detailed more of this in my post, but was trying to keep things brief.
Regardless, the feedback's really helpful and I appreciate it.
posted by zenpop at 1:04 PM on December 28, 2009
I don't have problems 'dating' someone I also work with -- I'm an artist myself and live life outside of 'conventional' job scenarios, etc. i.e., I scramble and freelance and have clients, etc. And prefer that to a traditional job situation. So does this person.
I'm seeing I should have detailed more of this in my post, but was trying to keep things brief.
Regardless, the feedback's really helpful and I appreciate it.
posted by zenpop at 1:04 PM on December 28, 2009
Best answer: Your website would indicate that you're male and in your 40's. Your comment would indicate that your target is the same, yes? Still creepy, but less so than if your object of interest was somewhat or significantly younger than you.
What I'm hung up on is that you've asked them to come to your house/office so that you can review their portfolio. That seems quite a bit different than going to them, or better yet meeting them in a neutral setting (coffee place equidistant from both of you).
In effect, if you ask them out you will have gotten "delivery": you went online, perused, decided what you'd like, called and ordered it delivered. That would be the definition of sleazy, to me.
My advice: change the location to somewhere neutral that involves effort on both your part, not just his. Talk to him as you would a prospective employee- you can chat him up, but be appropriate. Hire him, or not, for your projects. Don't ask him out.
After the project is completed, ask him out. Say, "I felt a connection...and I have to admit, some mutual friends of ours suggested I check you out. But when I saw your online profile, I was blown away by the quality of your work and just had to have you design the advertising for our widgets."
Or if you don't hire him, let it rest for a while. Then contact him. Say, "I'm sorry it didn't work out to work together, but . . ."
posted by arnicae at 1:05 PM on December 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
What I'm hung up on is that you've asked them to come to your house/office so that you can review their portfolio. That seems quite a bit different than going to them, or better yet meeting them in a neutral setting (coffee place equidistant from both of you).
In effect, if you ask them out you will have gotten "delivery": you went online, perused, decided what you'd like, called and ordered it delivered. That would be the definition of sleazy, to me.
My advice: change the location to somewhere neutral that involves effort on both your part, not just his. Talk to him as you would a prospective employee- you can chat him up, but be appropriate. Hire him, or not, for your projects. Don't ask him out.
After the project is completed, ask him out. Say, "I felt a connection...and I have to admit, some mutual friends of ours suggested I check you out. But when I saw your online profile, I was blown away by the quality of your work and just had to have you design the advertising for our widgets."
Or if you don't hire him, let it rest for a while. Then contact him. Say, "I'm sorry it didn't work out to work together, but . . ."
posted by arnicae at 1:05 PM on December 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
I think I should have clarified in my initial post that I'm not asking this person out the moment they set foot in my office/home. I genuinely want to see their work, etc. and then after a social connection is established see where it goes from there.
So then why are you asking the question? Probably everyone would agree that it's fine to date people you work with in a freelance environment if you and they click.
Your asking the question implies that you have some qualms about this situation. If it's not that you're using the hiring process to angle for dates, what are your qualms? Are you afraid you'll look like you're angling for dates by using the hiring process, even though you're not?
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:11 PM on December 28, 2009
So then why are you asking the question? Probably everyone would agree that it's fine to date people you work with in a freelance environment if you and they click.
Your asking the question implies that you have some qualms about this situation. If it's not that you're using the hiring process to angle for dates, what are your qualms? Are you afraid you'll look like you're angling for dates by using the hiring process, even though you're not?
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:11 PM on December 28, 2009
Response by poster: @ arnicae: Best advice overall. Thanks. Because of where we live (a small island), it's not uncommon for folks to meet in each other's homes etc. Tho, still, I'm going to change the appointment to meet at their office or coffee place.
posted by zenpop at 1:15 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by zenpop at 1:15 PM on December 28, 2009
Response by poster: @Sidhedevil. Well, I asked because I wanted some feedback, and to see, also if I'd a blind spot related to the situation. I see I did. The answers/suggestions here have helped me clarify and also make some changes. Also to mellow out, cause, well, I tend to over think on things ;-)
posted by zenpop at 1:17 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by zenpop at 1:17 PM on December 28, 2009
Given that several of your friends have suggested you and this person meet, I think you have a freeroll. That is to say, even if this other person does think you're out of line - which is possible, there are plenty of variables here - your friends won't buy into that unless you really screw things up. I don't think you have much to lose socially by doing this unless you include all of ask.mefi in your social circle.
posted by topynate at 1:19 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by topynate at 1:19 PM on December 28, 2009
Another vote for "Ew!"
Do you have an actual job for this person or are you convincing yourself you do in order to date him/her? If you give this person the job, can you work professionally with him/her until the project is complete and forget about your ulterior motives? If the answer is no, then you might be better off hiring someone else and trying to pursue a relationship with this person under more transparent circumstances.
posted by LuckySeven~ at 1:19 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Do you have an actual job for this person or are you convincing yourself you do in order to date him/her? If you give this person the job, can you work professionally with him/her until the project is complete and forget about your ulterior motives? If the answer is no, then you might be better off hiring someone else and trying to pursue a relationship with this person under more transparent circumstances.
posted by LuckySeven~ at 1:19 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
How about:
"person a" and "person b" suggested a long time ago that we should meet. Although we don't talk much anymore I decided to check out your portfolio and loved what I saw. I also do ______ and like your work but am also interested in just meeting more people who are interested in creative endeavors/like-minded. Collaboration may or may not happen but lets get together over coffee and chat.
Maybe less form letter but the gist is, let me see your portfolio -I like your work, let me meet you -I also may like you, the reason I looked you up on the internet are these friends from the past who neither of us really hang out with but who told me we should meet -I am not creepy just curious.
Good luck!
posted by occidental at 1:20 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
"person a" and "person b" suggested a long time ago that we should meet. Although we don't talk much anymore I decided to check out your portfolio and loved what I saw. I also do ______ and like your work but am also interested in just meeting more people who are interested in creative endeavors/like-minded. Collaboration may or may not happen but lets get together over coffee and chat.
Maybe less form letter but the gist is, let me see your portfolio -I like your work, let me meet you -I also may like you, the reason I looked you up on the internet are these friends from the past who neither of us really hang out with but who told me we should meet -I am not creepy just curious.
Good luck!
posted by occidental at 1:20 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
occidental's suggestion is very good. Perfectly tactful.
posted by jayder at 1:35 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by jayder at 1:35 PM on December 28, 2009
Response by poster: @ occidental: Thanks! I'm gonna show up for the meeting wearing a t-shirt that reads: "I am not creepy just curious."
posted by zenpop at 1:41 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by zenpop at 1:41 PM on December 28, 2009
Haha, awesome.
posted by occidental at 1:59 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by occidental at 1:59 PM on December 28, 2009
I think you need to pick one or the other, either dating or work. Not that they are entirely incompatible, but I think in the beginning you should have honest designs on only one kind of relationship.
If you pick work as more important, I would simply wait on the dating thing. Just pay attention to whether you have chemistry while working and let it seem like it came naturally from that. Because really, it did.
Things are a bit more tricky of you are more interested in dating, because you can't just say forget about the work stuff. I would call her up beforehand and say, "Hey, I really do like your work and want to see it regardless of your answer, but in fact the reason I was checking out your work in the first place was that some friends had suggested we might hit it off. I realized after we scheduled to meet at my place that I was being kind of sketchy, so I wanted to come clean and ask you out straight up. HOWEVER I am quite honestly interested in your work and your refusal would in no way affect that."
posted by ropeladder at 2:44 PM on December 28, 2009
If you pick work as more important, I would simply wait on the dating thing. Just pay attention to whether you have chemistry while working and let it seem like it came naturally from that. Because really, it did.
Things are a bit more tricky of you are more interested in dating, because you can't just say forget about the work stuff. I would call her up beforehand and say, "Hey, I really do like your work and want to see it regardless of your answer, but in fact the reason I was checking out your work in the first place was that some friends had suggested we might hit it off. I realized after we scheduled to meet at my place that I was being kind of sketchy, so I wanted to come clean and ask you out straight up. HOWEVER I am quite honestly interested in your work and your refusal would in no way affect that."
posted by ropeladder at 2:44 PM on December 28, 2009
If you actively seek out someone for work, and then solicit them for a date...the other person will have the mind set that you are into the work, but then changing gears into the date option is straight out of left field. It's change the tone of the situation and make things awkward. Just send flowers from as an admirer.
posted by proficiency101 at 3:03 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by proficiency101 at 3:03 PM on December 28, 2009
Ugh, don't ask them on a date while reviewing their portfolio.
There are two possibilities:
1. They like you too and want to go on a date. If that's the case it's better to wait longer and build the anticipation and also start the relationship off with respect untainted by lust. Solution: don't ask them on a date til some time after the portfolio review (at least a couple weeks, I'd say).
2. They legitimately want your portfolio advice but not a date. If that's the case, and you combine the two things, they won't like you any more as a person because you pretended to be interested in their work but really you only wanted a date, which makes you a skeez. Solution: don't ask them on a date until some time after the portfolio review (at least a couple weeks, I'd say).
Note that both scenarios have the same solution.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 4:12 PM on December 28, 2009
There are two possibilities:
1. They like you too and want to go on a date. If that's the case it's better to wait longer and build the anticipation and also start the relationship off with respect untainted by lust. Solution: don't ask them on a date til some time after the portfolio review (at least a couple weeks, I'd say).
2. They legitimately want your portfolio advice but not a date. If that's the case, and you combine the two things, they won't like you any more as a person because you pretended to be interested in their work but really you only wanted a date, which makes you a skeez. Solution: don't ask them on a date until some time after the portfolio review (at least a couple weeks, I'd say).
Note that both scenarios have the same solution.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 4:12 PM on December 28, 2009
I don't see a problem with the Googling, the wanting to see their portfolio, or being interested in a date. Those in and of themselves are normal and not skecthy, as long as you distinctily separate the two. Approach the portfolio from a professional standpoint with the work you originally had in mind being the focus. Once all of the details of that are nailed down (meaning the got the gig or they didn't, contracts have been signed or someone took a pass), and as long as you make it clear neither current nor future work depends upon their answer, ask them out and see where it goes. I think distinct boundaries will be the key to your success in this situation. Good luck!
posted by katemcd at 4:30 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by katemcd at 4:30 PM on December 28, 2009
Personally, if a guy asked me to come over under the pretense that he wanted to review my portfolio for potential collaboration because he admired my work--then it turned out that the real agenda was to date me--I might be insulted and question whether he even liked my work/viewed me as a real artist and professional versus potential dating object. Not only would this make me less than inclined to date that person or interact with him socially at all, but it would pretty much preclude my working with him in any professional or collaborative capacity, as I would feel undermined from the get-go. Also, I would like to submit that if you have as many connections as you say you do, chances are he'll/she'll catch onto your alterior motives.
I advocate honesty. If a social meeting is your goal, be frank about it. Misrepresenting your intentions as a way to manipulate the interaction is not a strong basis for something good to grow.
posted by teamparka at 6:40 PM on December 28, 2009
I advocate honesty. If a social meeting is your goal, be frank about it. Misrepresenting your intentions as a way to manipulate the interaction is not a strong basis for something good to grow.
posted by teamparka at 6:40 PM on December 28, 2009
I don't like it.
Tell me the difference between doing this, and posting a job opening on Craigslist for a maid, where the ulterior motive is a date. Sure, you'll be happy to pay them the cash for cleaning your house, but you're also hoping to "take it farther."
See what I mean? Creepy AND tacky. (Cracky? Teepy?)
This person is coming over to your home in the hopes of getting work, whereas you're hoping to get them in the sack. Deeply wrong. Common, yet deeply wrong.
posted by ErikaB at 6:43 PM on December 28, 2009
Tell me the difference between doing this, and posting a job opening on Craigslist for a maid, where the ulterior motive is a date. Sure, you'll be happy to pay them the cash for cleaning your house, but you're also hoping to "take it farther."
See what I mean? Creepy AND tacky. (Cracky? Teepy?)
This person is coming over to your home in the hopes of getting work, whereas you're hoping to get them in the sack. Deeply wrong. Common, yet deeply wrong.
posted by ErikaB at 6:43 PM on December 28, 2009
Last year, I was chatting with someone at an airport bar waiting forever for my plane. She was a bridesmaid at her sister's wedding, and she was trying to compose her speech. I asked how the bride and groom met, and she said: "Well, I can't mention that at the wedding: She met him interviewing for a job." (Yes, I asked. She also got the job.)
You're serious about their work, so you are definitely not wasting their time. There's nothing wrong with having two reasons for doing something. The idea is to stay supremely conscious of how the other person is responding to you and how you are responding to them.
Wishing you, inter alia, good business...
posted by esprit de l'escalier at 7:32 PM on December 28, 2009
You're serious about their work, so you are definitely not wasting their time. There's nothing wrong with having two reasons for doing something. The idea is to stay supremely conscious of how the other person is responding to you and how you are responding to them.
Wishing you, inter alia, good business...
posted by esprit de l'escalier at 7:32 PM on December 28, 2009
Consider the power differential in this interaction. If you are actually capable of giving this person a job, then your romantic/sexual advance can be construed as taking advantage of a powered position (and, in your description, may or may not actually be that). This is the precise reason that sexual harassment laws exist, so staying away from mixing business with pleasure, as it were, is a good rule of thumb.
posted by so_gracefully at 11:14 PM on December 28, 2009
posted by so_gracefully at 11:14 PM on December 28, 2009
I'm pretty sure the invitation over to "view an art portfolio" was the beginning of an episode of Law and Order: SVU that I just watched, which definitely puts this situation into the sketchy category.
It sounds like you are reasonable about this though, and moving it to a neutral location is a great idea. Good luck with asking him out at a later date :)
posted by karyotypical at 8:32 AM on December 29, 2009
It sounds like you are reasonable about this though, and moving it to a neutral location is a great idea. Good luck with asking him out at a later date :)
posted by karyotypical at 8:32 AM on December 29, 2009
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Taking matters into my own hands I did some Googling and discovered this person's website and their online portfolio. I wasn't very impressed by the quality of their work but figured I would "review" their "portfolio", hehe.
posted by smackfu at 12:45 PM on December 28, 2009 [3 favorites]