Make a vibrator as a gift funny!
December 21, 2009 2:19 AM Subscribe
What are some funny, cheeky messages I can send with these "personal massagers" I am sending to some female friends.
I thought I'd try to be a bit funny with some of my lady friends for Christmas, and got a bunch of very cheap (but apparently very functional!) personal massage devices from this place : (probably NSFW: http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.19655)
Don't worry - I'm not being a creepy dude. This has been a long running joke between this group for a long time.
So, I'm planning to send them anonymously to about 5 women (although they will probably be able to guess who it's from). I want to attach a little card with a note something along the lines of "Dear Susan. I thought you might like a buzz this Christmas. x, Secret Santa."
I need more ideas for the messages.
So far I've got the buzz message, as mentioned above, and something like :
"My elves couldn't work out whether you've been naughty or nice, so maybe this gift will help them decide, once and for all", or something.
Let your slightly kinky spirit free, and give me some inspiration! I need 5 or 6 lines, and I don't want to repeat myself.
I thought I'd try to be a bit funny with some of my lady friends for Christmas, and got a bunch of very cheap (but apparently very functional!) personal massage devices from this place : (probably NSFW: http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.19655)
Don't worry - I'm not being a creepy dude. This has been a long running joke between this group for a long time.
So, I'm planning to send them anonymously to about 5 women (although they will probably be able to guess who it's from). I want to attach a little card with a note something along the lines of "Dear Susan. I thought you might like a buzz this Christmas. x, Secret Santa."
I need more ideas for the messages.
So far I've got the buzz message, as mentioned above, and something like :
"My elves couldn't work out whether you've been naughty or nice, so maybe this gift will help them decide, once and for all", or something.
Let your slightly kinky spirit free, and give me some inspiration! I need 5 or 6 lines, and I don't want to repeat myself.
When I read the intro, I assumed you were asking as a woman who was sending these out as a bawdy gift for her girlfriends.
Don't worry - I'm not being a creepy dude. This has been a long running joke between this group for a long time.
Does "this group" include you, or is it a running joke just between these women that you've been made privy to somehow? If it's the latter, then it seems creepy, particularly the anonymous part (and then finding out it's you).
posted by availablelight at 4:20 AM on December 21, 2009
Don't worry - I'm not being a creepy dude. This has been a long running joke between this group for a long time.
Does "this group" include you, or is it a running joke just between these women that you've been made privy to somehow? If it's the latter, then it seems creepy, particularly the anonymous part (and then finding out it's you).
posted by availablelight at 4:20 AM on December 21, 2009
He didn't ask whether or not you thought it was creepy. You don't know the situation with his friends, so you don't know how his friends will take it. I got a gift almost exactly like this from a male friend - it was an inside joke and I found it hilarious.
posted by tryniti at 4:48 AM on December 21, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by tryniti at 4:48 AM on December 21, 2009 [7 favorites]
You could make some puns with the word "kinks," like:
[Note intro]..."this will help you work out all your kinks for the new year."
posted by jameslavelle3 at 5:18 AM on December 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
[Note intro]..."this will help you work out all your kinks for the new year."
posted by jameslavelle3 at 5:18 AM on December 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Best answer: "Men are like Snowstorms: you never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they'll last. But this simple appliance has none of those drawbacks."
But, yeah, creepy unless you're already in a TMI relationship with them.
posted by orthogonality at 5:23 AM on December 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
But, yeah, creepy unless you're already in a TMI relationship with them.
posted by orthogonality at 5:23 AM on December 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
"Here's something new to think about when you masturbate."
posted by box at 5:45 AM on December 21, 2009
posted by box at 5:45 AM on December 21, 2009
"Hope this doesn't rub you the wrong way"
posted by poppo at 6:03 AM on December 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by poppo at 6:03 AM on December 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Funnily enough, a friend of a friend is doing the same thing this year but he's giving them to everyone he knows in lieu of Christmas cards. I think it depends on the crowd as to whether it's creepy or not, but I'd say go for it. Coming (hah) from specific friends of mine it would be damn hilarious.
posted by lydhre at 6:36 AM on December 21, 2009
posted by lydhre at 6:36 AM on December 21, 2009
There's the obvious ones like "Joy to the world, the Lord is come." Or "You've been giving me a vibe for a while now, just thought I'd return the favor."
If it was a fleshlight, you could've written a simple "Seasons Beatings."
posted by ferdinandcc at 6:43 AM on December 21, 2009
If it was a fleshlight, you could've written a simple "Seasons Beatings."
posted by ferdinandcc at 6:43 AM on December 21, 2009
"Merry XXXmas!"
"For your Bush Noël"
"Keep warm through the season"
"Silent Night..."
posted by IAmBroom at 9:29 AM on December 21, 2009
"For your Bush Noël"
"Keep warm through the season"
"Silent Night...
posted by IAmBroom at 9:29 AM on December 21, 2009
Best answer: "Santa won't be the only thing coming down your chimney this year"
"In case his is two sizes too small"
"Just a little something from the island of misfit sex toys"
"Something to stuff in your stocking"
"100% guaranteed not to land you in one of those 'immaculate conception' predicaments"
"The Daydream Before Christmas"
posted by nomad at 10:33 AM on December 21, 2009
"In case his is two sizes too small"
"Just a little something from the island of misfit sex toys"
"Something to stuff in your stocking"
"100% guaranteed not to land you in one of those 'immaculate conception' predicaments"
"The Daydream Before Christmas"
posted by nomad at 10:33 AM on December 21, 2009
Best answer: "Sending you good vibes for a Happy New Year"
posted by np312 at 11:05 AM on December 21, 2009
posted by np312 at 11:05 AM on December 21, 2009
Response by poster: I guess you could say I'm already in a TMI relationship with them (and I'm not the only guy - it's a reasonably large group). We've spent way too much time discussing these things.
Thank you all :)
posted by Diag at 12:35 PM on December 21, 2009
Thank you all :)
posted by Diag at 12:35 PM on December 21, 2009
> "O Cum All Ye Faithful"
Get this in a singing card. Package all together in a box. Extra batteries might be a little much, though.
posted by Decimask at 8:53 PM on December 21, 2009
Get this in a singing card. Package all together in a box. Extra batteries might be a little much, though.
posted by Decimask at 8:53 PM on December 21, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
Here's to helping your New Year start off with a Happy Ending!
(or, Happy Ending to your New Year!)
Ecstatic Joy to Your World!
Jingle Bell Rock your socks off!
May your holiday be wonderful and warm. In bed.
Rudolph is busy. Guide your own damn sleigh.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:49 AM on December 21, 2009