Help me develop confidence, sprezzatura, nonchalance
December 19, 2009 2:15 PM Subscribe
Help me develop sprezzatura, the art of "a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it." The "zen valedictorian" approach, but applied outside of a school setting. Or old-style Hollywood glamour, but updated for our millennium.
posted by anonymous to human relations (26 answers total) 90 users marked this as a favorite
I'd like to develop my ability to be more nonchalant, savoir faire, and cool. I've read a few posts on this (notably http://ask.metafilter.com/126169/No-wearing-Armani-doesnt-make-you-refined), but none of them relate exactly to sprezzatura. I'd like my life to have more confidence, beauty, and glamour.
I've done some pretty cool things, but I seem to do them by the skin of my teeth, grinding to the last minute. Although I'm female, I relate way too much to the main character in 500 Days of Summer, getting involved with people who may or may not want me and losing my cool. In my work life, I'm the one who procrastinates and then pulls all-nighters.
How does one apply sprezzatura in a variety of settings? How can I make my work seem more effortless, my contacts with potential romantic relationships, my overall demeanor?
What movies or books might be helpful in developing (or gaining role models for) sprezzatura? What are some fun examples of sprezzatura?
I want the calm purposefulness of Christopher McCandless of Into the Wild, the confidence of Katharine Hepburn, and the nonchalance of Jude Law. I'm quirky, but I don't want to come across like Drew Barrymore.
Btw, I'm not looking for parody here. Nothing where the person is so nonchalant that they come across as ridiculous, stuck-up, or staid.
Throwaway email: firstname.lastname@example.org