I've got a big problem. My boyfriend won't stop lying and being dishonest with me.
As I have posted here before (see: http://ask.metafilter.com/122616/I-am-trying-to-trust-him
), I have been trying to work on re-building trust with my boyfriend.
He has lied to me about several major things over the last year and half we have been dating, including not telling me his best friend was in-fact his ex (and doing everything to avoid us ever meeting), to lying that he had finished high school when he didn't. There's lots of detail in other thread.
So, this August, I broke the relationship off because I couldn't deal with his dishonesty anymore. The final straw was him going to a nude beach with one of his ex boyfriends/friends (not the one already mentioned) and not telling me about it. The only reason I found out was because we ran into someone on the street that night who recognized him and made a big scene about it. I had no idea he had gone, let alone with his ex.
So, that was it for me. We broke up and he told me 10,000 excuses. That he never was nude at the beach anyway (which I believe), this was just a friend (lie), they went hiking, and it was all really harmless.
As well, he told me (as he does often), that he feels like he can't tell me anything because I freak out about everything that he does.
One month later -- this October -- we got back together. It seemed like he had realized what he was doing was unacceptable and really did believe that he could change and I began to trust him again. We have been going to couples' counseling once a week for the past two months and it has been helping. There hasn't been any more lies that I know of, until now.
Late last night after a particularly heated counseling session, he drops the bomb that during the day, he went out for lunch with another one of his exes. Just the two of them, and someone I wasn't even aware was his ex and have met once.
I admit this makes me uncomfortable but the biggest problem is that my boyfriend and I talked several times during the day about how each of our respective days were going/what we were up to, and he never mentioned this. He completely omitted it.
He says he never did anything wrong, because he DID tell me, just not the two times that I asked him during the day on the phone what he was up to. I think it's a lie by omission and considering all of the trust issues we have (especially with exes... this is the third one where there has been something similar), I am completely unsure about what to do now.
I feel like we should continue working on things because we got back together and are going to counseling but on the other hand, I feel like all of the trust I have rebuilt in him over the past couple months has been completely violated and he will never change.