What's it like to work as a foreign hostess in Japan?
December 2, 2009 6:02 PM
What's it like to work as a foreign hostess in Japan? Really.
I have an opportunity to be a hostess in Japan. I'm interested because I'm pretty attractive, I long to get out of the country and I'm struggling to find employment as a writer (surprise). Yes, I've read many word of mouth horror stories about it on the internet, but I haven't read many 'real life accounts'. Most of the information out there seems to be from 2002-20005 too.
Have you or someone you know worked as a hostess in Japan? What's the dress code? How far does it really go? Bonus points for more recent experiences... Or perhaps there's a blog you've seen?
I have an opportunity to be a hostess in Japan. I'm interested because I'm pretty attractive, I long to get out of the country and I'm struggling to find employment as a writer (surprise). Yes, I've read many word of mouth horror stories about it on the internet, but I haven't read many 'real life accounts'. Most of the information out there seems to be from 2002-20005 too.
Have you or someone you know worked as a hostess in Japan? What's the dress code? How far does it really go? Bonus points for more recent experiences... Or perhaps there's a blog you've seen?
Have you read these books?
90-Day Geisha: My Time as a Tokyo Hostess
Bar Flower: My Decadently Destructive Days and Nights as a Tokyo Nightclub Hostess
Being male I've never worked in a hostess club or a kyabakura, but having visited a few and talked to some Japanese who work at such places, my impression is that it's fairly boring and you're required to drink some, keep up email/phone communication with regular customers, and maybe go out with some regulars on douhan (同伴). Generally at snacks or kyabakura you make an hourly wage, unless you work at a high-end hostess club, in which case you might be on commission based upon how much alcohol you can get your customers to spend.
The dress code varies depending on the establishment, I'd imagine, but this is the norm. Kyabajou (the kind you see in Koakuma Ageha or on TV) is kind of an extreme version; most don't go quite that far in terms of makeup. Also, since you'd most likely be in either Roppongi or Ginza (assuming you're in Tokyo), you'd probably be a bit more upscale than the equivalent hostess in Kabukicho.
posted by armage at 6:25 PM on December 2, 2009
90-Day Geisha: My Time as a Tokyo Hostess
Bar Flower: My Decadently Destructive Days and Nights as a Tokyo Nightclub Hostess
Being male I've never worked in a hostess club or a kyabakura, but having visited a few and talked to some Japanese who work at such places, my impression is that it's fairly boring and you're required to drink some, keep up email/phone communication with regular customers, and maybe go out with some regulars on douhan (同伴). Generally at snacks or kyabakura you make an hourly wage, unless you work at a high-end hostess club, in which case you might be on commission based upon how much alcohol you can get your customers to spend.
The dress code varies depending on the establishment, I'd imagine, but this is the norm. Kyabajou (the kind you see in Koakuma Ageha or on TV) is kind of an extreme version; most don't go quite that far in terms of makeup. Also, since you'd most likely be in either Roppongi or Ginza (assuming you're in Tokyo), you'd probably be a bit more upscale than the equivalent hostess in Kabukicho.
posted by armage at 6:25 PM on December 2, 2009
"Hey, when [redacted] was 'hostessing' in Japan, did that turn out to be hookering, more or less?"
Oh, and for the record, this ("hostess" = "hooker") is NOT the norm. It may be true among sleazier places, but mizushoubai as an industry is separate from fuuzoku, the sex trade. As I mentioned above, most hostesses don't have any kind of sexual relationship with their customers as a part of doing business.
posted by armage at 6:27 PM on December 2, 2009
Oh, and for the record, this ("hostess" = "hooker") is NOT the norm. It may be true among sleazier places, but mizushoubai as an industry is separate from fuuzoku, the sex trade. As I mentioned above, most hostesses don't have any kind of sexual relationship with their customers as a part of doing business.
posted by armage at 6:27 PM on December 2, 2009
Yeah, I should have followed up I guess.
From a conversation a couple of years ago, I think it was more of a "going home with customers so they pay you more" rather than, um, formal in-store services.
I can get more details if it's useful.
posted by rokusan at 6:32 PM on December 2, 2009
From a conversation a couple of years ago, I think it was more of a "going home with customers so they pay you more" rather than, um, formal in-store services.
I can get more details if it's useful.
posted by rokusan at 6:32 PM on December 2, 2009
It is my understanding that there are many different flavors of "hostesses".
You might be interested in this fantastic movie about MALE hostesses for women. These women are actually most of the time hostesses themselves and the male hostesses are the only people offering them attention and "feelings" but strictly no sex. Sex is something the women is never allowed to achieve with them since then she would not be available as a "cash cow".
"A love thief from Osaka"
posted by yoyo_nyc at 7:28 PM on December 2, 2009
You might be interested in this fantastic movie about MALE hostesses for women. These women are actually most of the time hostesses themselves and the male hostesses are the only people offering them attention and "feelings" but strictly no sex. Sex is something the women is never allowed to achieve with them since then she would not be available as a "cash cow".
"A love thief from Osaka"
posted by yoyo_nyc at 7:28 PM on December 2, 2009
It was a while ago, but when I studied in Japan back in 1995 I dated a French girl who worked some weekend nights at a hostess bar. The money was great in relative terms (we were both poor college students studying abroad, so the yen equivalent of 100 bucks seemed like a lot at the time) and she enjoyed the experience and the attention. As far as I can tell, there were Japanese businessmen who genuinely wanted to practice their French, albeit while drinking really expensive whiskey with an attractive young gaijin female.
Thing is, you be in a structurally different situation as a full-time hostess bar lady. My friend needed the cash but she could also walk away if there was ever a problem (which there wasn't). But I'd be leery of doing it full-time, honestly.
Have you considered teaching in Japan instead?
posted by bardic at 7:55 PM on December 2, 2009
Thing is, you be in a structurally different situation as a full-time hostess bar lady. My friend needed the cash but she could also walk away if there was ever a problem (which there wasn't). But I'd be leery of doing it full-time, honestly.
Have you considered teaching in Japan instead?
posted by bardic at 7:55 PM on December 2, 2009
I knew someone who worked as a "mama-san" in one of those bars. The drug use the girls engaged in seemed incredibly intense to me. He said that many of them become addicted to the mix of uppers and downers required to work such long, unusual hours. They got them from a 'special' doctor that basically only saw hostesses. There was also tonnnes of coke.
I'm not saying it's not for you; he did point out that some girls made lots of money, got out, and rarely took the drugs, but the overall picture was of an incredibly depressing, manic, unhealthy work culture with an incredibly high casualty rate.
The 'extras' Rokusan alludes to also tallies with my friend's description.
Also: do you smoke? I sure hope you do, because otherwise you'll find being a hostess is like having a party in someone's exhaust pipe.
posted by smoke at 9:18 PM on December 2, 2009
I'm not saying it's not for you; he did point out that some girls made lots of money, got out, and rarely took the drugs, but the overall picture was of an incredibly depressing, manic, unhealthy work culture with an incredibly high casualty rate.
The 'extras' Rokusan alludes to also tallies with my friend's description.
Also: do you smoke? I sure hope you do, because otherwise you'll find being a hostess is like having a party in someone's exhaust pipe.
posted by smoke at 9:18 PM on December 2, 2009
If you're serious about writing, it's not the best way of making money. You'll spend all night drinking, and all day sleeping, which will leave you barely enough time to update your facebook status.
How far does it really go? You won't be required to have sex with your customers, but if you are living in a big city, you won't make enough money unless you do. And Japan is in a recession right now, so there's not as much money flowing around the entertainment districts. Of course, I lived in the Prefecture of Unemployment, so I'm a little biased.
If you're in a country that has a holiday working visa arrangement with Japan, you should probably get a legit job instead.
posted by betweenthebars at 9:52 PM on December 2, 2009
How far does it really go? You won't be required to have sex with your customers, but if you are living in a big city, you won't make enough money unless you do. And Japan is in a recession right now, so there's not as much money flowing around the entertainment districts. Of course, I lived in the Prefecture of Unemployment, so I'm a little biased.
If you're in a country that has a holiday working visa arrangement with Japan, you should probably get a legit job instead.
posted by betweenthebars at 9:52 PM on December 2, 2009
I have a friend in Osaka who's been in Japan on and off longer than I've been here. She began hostessing a couple years ago, and she makes quite a bit of money off of it, and is evidently quite popular. She's married, and doesn't, as far as I know, do much of the douhan thing. The thing is, she's not the norm. Another friend told me of her early twenties in Roppongi, being so wasted on drugs that she actually had drugs delivered to her apartment because she was too fried to go out, but needed a fix.
Then, on the ugly end of the spectrum was Lucie Blackman. That's not to say that's even common, but it did happen, and it's something to be aware of.
Basically, you'll be putting yourself (and your liver) into a situation where everyone is drinking, pretty much all the time. These bars make money on two things, the ridiculous entry fee, and the exhorbinant alcohol prices. Your job will be the later half. You're there to keep the guys drinking, and to get them to buy you drinks. Sure, you can dump one or two of them out, but more than likely, there'll be a bottle on the table, and you'll be making drinks for everyone at the table. Drinking games are big here. You won't really be able to not drink. Can you drink every night, for 8 or 9 hours at a stretch? Do you want to?
posted by Ghidorah at 11:23 PM on December 2, 2009
Then, on the ugly end of the spectrum was Lucie Blackman. That's not to say that's even common, but it did happen, and it's something to be aware of.
Basically, you'll be putting yourself (and your liver) into a situation where everyone is drinking, pretty much all the time. These bars make money on two things, the ridiculous entry fee, and the exhorbinant alcohol prices. Your job will be the later half. You're there to keep the guys drinking, and to get them to buy you drinks. Sure, you can dump one or two of them out, but more than likely, there'll be a bottle on the table, and you'll be making drinks for everyone at the table. Drinking games are big here. You won't really be able to not drink. Can you drink every night, for 8 or 9 hours at a stretch? Do you want to?
posted by Ghidorah at 11:23 PM on December 2, 2009
One thing you want to straighten out first off is your visa. The horror stories about hostesses almost always revolve around girls from poorer countries (Russia, Eastern Europe) who are scammed into prostitution because they don't have a legitimate visa and their managers will steal it anyway. You didn't say where you are from--it makes a difference. For example, an American trying to get a visa can't go the working holiday route--that's for most advanced countries but not the U.S. Anyway, visa requirements for Japan are rather complicated, so study up on how to get a working visa.
A couple of friends of mine did hostessing here in Tokyo, two of them Americans and one an Aussie. They all said they liked it at first; it was like going to a party every night, free drinks, always some guy fawning over them. But after a while the partying felt like work. One of them quit specifically because she was tired of getting drunk every. single. night. Which will be pretty much required of you--the standard practice is for customers to buy the hostess a bottle of champagne. Can you drink a bottle of Dom Perignon every night?
As for the "dark" side, unless you're in a really skeezy club and/or your employer is scamming you as described above, the hostess clubs are not sex clubs. You likely will, however, be presented with an option to significantly increase your salary for certain favors. All of my friends said they could've gotten richer if they wanted to, with, uh, extra work. But mostly that's verboten by the clubs themselves and done only on the dl.
posted by zardoz at 11:32 PM on December 2, 2009
A couple of friends of mine did hostessing here in Tokyo, two of them Americans and one an Aussie. They all said they liked it at first; it was like going to a party every night, free drinks, always some guy fawning over them. But after a while the partying felt like work. One of them quit specifically because she was tired of getting drunk every. single. night. Which will be pretty much required of you--the standard practice is for customers to buy the hostess a bottle of champagne. Can you drink a bottle of Dom Perignon every night?
As for the "dark" side, unless you're in a really skeezy club and/or your employer is scamming you as described above, the hostess clubs are not sex clubs. You likely will, however, be presented with an option to significantly increase your salary for certain favors. All of my friends said they could've gotten richer if they wanted to, with, uh, extra work. But mostly that's verboten by the clubs themselves and done only on the dl.
posted by zardoz at 11:32 PM on December 2, 2009
Another book by a gaijin hostess: Butterflies of the Night. She worked mostly in Kyoto, I believe.
posted by Bobby Bittman at 6:29 AM on December 3, 2009
posted by Bobby Bittman at 6:29 AM on December 3, 2009
This is not recent, but it's first-hand. When I was really young and stupid in the 90s, I spent one evening as a hostess in Tokyo when I first moved to Japan. Naively, I assumed it was like being a hostess at the Olive Garden -- you ask how many in the party and show the patrons to their seats, right? The bartender handed me this burgandy vinyl bustier/short skirt get-up and told me that my job was to let the businessmen practice their French or English with me and persuade them to buy alcohol by the bottle. You were evaluated on how many bottles your customers bought. My sense was that you also got bonus points for sleeping with the customers, but I wasn't there long enough to get a sense of how rampant that was. You were not supposed to turn down advances. I was freaked out by increasingly drunk guys trying to grope me when the bartender wasn't looking, but I made it through the night. I ran off after the owner asked for my passport. (I might still have the outfit somewhere.) The other girls I talked to couldn't leave because the owners had their travel documents.
If this is just a way to get out of the country, I wouldn't recommend it, particularly if you don't speak Japanese or have good contacts over there or have a really good idea of what kind of bar this is. It seems like you could get in over your head pretty quickly, even if you're not young and stupid, and there are other ways to underwrite your travel. It's probably not as easy now, but I made good money doing modeling, teaching English, and being a professional foreigner -- attending parties and events to make the hosts look "international."
posted by *s at 7:49 AM on December 3, 2009
If this is just a way to get out of the country, I wouldn't recommend it, particularly if you don't speak Japanese or have good contacts over there or have a really good idea of what kind of bar this is. It seems like you could get in over your head pretty quickly, even if you're not young and stupid, and there are other ways to underwrite your travel. It's probably not as easy now, but I made good money doing modeling, teaching English, and being a professional foreigner -- attending parties and events to make the hosts look "international."
posted by *s at 7:49 AM on December 3, 2009
Another vote for "not recommended". An ex of mine did this when she lived in Tokyo. She's not gaijin (half filipina/half indian but fluent in Japanese) and she was "miserable". I never pressed her to elaborate.
posted by Zambrano at 8:29 AM on December 3, 2009
posted by Zambrano at 8:29 AM on December 3, 2009
And something else that came to me: the environment of the club. You'd be working with a mix of hostesses, say half of the girls would be foreigners, the other half Japanese. You can make money in the form of gifts from the clients. The amount is up to your own conscience; some rich guy who thinks he's in love with you might give you all manner of expensive bags and jewelry and whatever. So the money can be good.
But the more money you make and the more popular you become in the club, you're knocking some girl off the mountaintop who was queen of the club before you, and she may very well get unhappy about that and bring her problem to you. In other words, some clubs can be very catty and very competitive among the girls, so if you're any kind of wilting flower, it might be hard.
posted by zardoz at 11:22 PM on December 3, 2009
But the more money you make and the more popular you become in the club, you're knocking some girl off the mountaintop who was queen of the club before you, and she may very well get unhappy about that and bring her problem to you. In other words, some clubs can be very catty and very competitive among the girls, so if you're any kind of wilting flower, it might be hard.
posted by zardoz at 11:22 PM on December 3, 2009
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"Hey, when [redacted] was 'hostessing' in Japan, did that turn out to be hookering, more or less?"
"Yeah, pretty much. She told me she was drunk the whole time, though, and the guys were really shy and clean."
posted by rokusan at 6:11 PM on December 2, 2009