"Don't hire her, she's pregnant. You will need to train someone new in June when the baby is due. Not a wise move"
November 17, 2009 5:27 AM Subscribe
Please help me analyse this workplace drama. I feel betrayed by my friends and discriminated against for being pregnant.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (34 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Please help me get my head around this situation. Sorry about the "chick drama" nature of it.
I have struggled to get pregnant for about a year now, and through the IVF process I confided in two good friends at work, let's call them Bea and Lori. Bea and Lori have been enquiring about the status of my uterus frequently and with great interest, so when I did fall pregnant I confided in them and shared my joyful news. I asked them to be very discreet about it (as you do), due to the high risk of miscarriage early on but also because I am in a vulnerable position at work and am scared of losing my rights to maternity leave. I said specifically to not tell bosslady Vicky, because although Vicky is a mutual friend and a kind boss, she incidentally has connections to a number of areas in my professional and personal life where I did not want the news of my baby to leak out. Bea and Lori crossed their hearts and promised not to tell Vicky or anyone else.
Fast forward to now, I am 10 weeks pregnant, and just found out that bosslady Vicky was considering offering me a job within the large company I already work, but a different department (one that I much prefer to where I currently am). Vicky consulted with Lori and Bea, who together made the shocking decision to tell Vicky that I was pregnant. Bea, backed up by Lori, basically said "Don't hire her, she's pregnant. You will need to train someone new in June when the baby is due. Not a wise move". I am 99% sure that the "agreement" to tell Vicky was instigated by Bea. When I met Lori today I could tell something was up, and it didn't take me long to get her to confess. She was ever so sorry, and close to tears. I really care about Lori as a friend, she has been such an angel up until now. She begged me not to tell Bea or Vicky that she confessed. I would like to tear Bea's head off - much more so than Lori's.
Before I (potentially) take this any further, or go over it in my head for the nth time, I need some input from you guys.
Was I stupid and naive to trust these friends?
Is this what you would call a gross betrayal? It bloody well feels like it.
In your life, is loyalty to your work > loyalty to your friends?
Bonus LegalFilter question: Would this situation be grounds for any kind of lawsuit or official complaint? Obviously I wasn't offered the job because I'm pregnant. Discrimination, right? I am in Australia (Vic), but any legal advice is appreciated.