Gift Ideas for my Super Girlfriend

October 29, 2009 2:45 PM

My girlfriend wants superpowers. What should I get her for Christmas?

My girlfriend is pretty into Heroes. And X-Men. And Harry Potter, Piers Anthony novels, that superhero game on Facebook, and pretty much anything with people who have super or magical powers. I asked her want she wanted for Christmas several weeks back, and she said, "Superpowers."

Now, instead of taking a chance on some radioactive waste, I've decided to put together a little kit. I've already ordered a copy of this book and , and I want to put together a box of little things like a glove with magnets in it for magnetism power, a little handheld fan for wind power, etc., for her to "try out" different powers.

So, what other things can I put in this kit that will give my girlfriend super/magic powers? Budget-friendly a plus.

posted by moonroof to grab bag (42 comments total)

Some sort of cheap goggles for x-ray vision?
posted by mesha steele at 2:46 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

Spend a few bucks on one of those cat urine locators. It's just a hand-held UV light. This has utterly entranced a friend's child, who carries this with her to get new views of things.
posted by adipocere at 2:47 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

A snorkel for the ability to breath underwater and a tape/cd with whale recordings so that, when she is underwater, she can communicate with the fish.
posted by lucy.jakobs at 2:48 PM on October 29, 2009

Bionic ear.
posted by contrariwise at 2:49 PM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

You're only one or two laser pens away from giving her bona fide hand beams.
posted by Skot at 2:51 PM on October 29, 2009

Anything from here, the Superhero Supply Store.
I might go for the Deflector Cuffs on the Gear page for wearability/glitz factor. They have good packaging with all their items.
I have their bright red Fortress tights (ouftitting page) and they've held up well for 3 yrs now.
posted by rmless at 2:52 PM on October 29, 2009 [8 favorites]

Laser pens, plus a bunch of igniters, chained together, atop some thermite, which covers some plastic Lair of Villainy (neatly situated on some cinderblocks).

Make thermite for your girlfriend. It's the best excuse you'll ever get.
posted by adipocere at 2:54 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

Two months worth of Ninjitsu lessons.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:54 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

Rock climbing shoes! They totally make you feel like Spiderman-- and even if you guys never intend to do any serious rappelling, you can still have a fine old time scrambling around on boulders and things.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 2:55 PM on October 29, 2009

A little more girlfriend-y, a little less comic book-y: this pendant is both nice, and says superhero on the back so she can always represent.

They used to sell a nice tshirt, which I once got my girlfriend, but I can't see it on there anymore.
posted by dnesan at 2:58 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

Small, sealed, radioactive check sources she can keep around to induce super power or monsterism (As in Godzilla, The Hulk, Spiderman, Them, and Monster on Campus)

There is always a chance... I do radiation work in a greenhouse and in contrast to my usual policy of squealing and squashing them, always allow spiders that touch me to live.

(Note: Doses from such a check source would be orders of magnitude lower than those from eating a banana)
posted by pseudonick at 3:02 PM on October 29, 2009

A nemesis.

Start by writing her a fairly mundane letter that should arrive just before Christmas, to be followed by a present of some menacing sort on Christmas. Make it campy or clearly meant in jest as not to frighten her or people she'll be with when she opens presents. Then continue to send her letters and small presents that a nemesis would send a superhero.

Instead of putting children and small animals in threatening positions, you could set up a mystery for her to solve, eventually unmasking the identity of her nemesis, maybe leading up to her birthday or some other major event (or just some random day that could later be remembered fondly). If you're really crafty or have creative friends, you can create multiple enemies towards the culmination of the first riddle, keeping the fun alive and allowing you to create new personalities.

This would be more in the vein of Batman (normal human who was quick-witted and strong, aided with tools of his own creation) and his enemies (what powers did the Joker, Penguin or Cat Woman have? Minimal, if any), instead of Superman, The Flash, Green Lantern, etc. If you're in want of puzzles, read through items of her interest, and start there. If you want more, MeMail me and we'll brainstorm =)

A little more girlfriend-y, a little less comic book-y: this pendant is both nice, and says superhero on the back so she can always represent.

If that's too literal, find something that could be her saying or battlecry.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:06 PM on October 29, 2009 [17 favorites]

A promise to carry around a small white board and always write your thoughts on them so she can read your mind?
posted by lilac girl at 3:08 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

A cape.
posted by theora55 at 3:09 PM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Power Jumping Stilts



A copy of the Superpowers episode of This American Life, which contains, among others, this story:

Act Two. Wonder Woman.

Kelly McEvers with the story of Zora, a self-made superhero. From the time she was five, Zora had recurring dreams in which she was a 6'5" warrior queen who could fly and shoot lightning from her hands. She made a list of all the skills she would need to master if she wanted to actually become the superhero she dreamed of being. Sample items: martial arts, evasive driving and bomb diffusion. She actually checked off most things on the list ... and then had a run-in with the CIA.

posted by niles at 3:12 PM on October 29, 2009 [4 favorites]

Glasses without lenses, but with hand-mirrors attached to the bottom of the glasses perpendicular to the frames. Now she can walk on the ceiling.
posted by Paragon at 3:17 PM on October 29, 2009

- Build her a miniature city to fly over/save from distruction
- give her a card promising her flying lessons, then take her sky diving, or to an amusement park (depending on costs and fears of flying/falling)
- write her superhero themesong (then perform it if you have musical instruments and such talents)
- give her a newspaper (clipping) of her fantastic feats (there are companies that make fake newspapers, if you don't want print your own on newspaper-type stock)
- send fan letters following her heroic actions (this and the prior item could be bundled with the nemesis idea)
- give her a superhero outfit, or at least a patch (which you could make out of felt and fabric glue)
posted by filthy light thief at 3:37 PM on October 29, 2009

Everything everyone suggests is awesome. I have a superhero mask from 826's Brooklyn Superhero Supply Store. I would also get her a copy of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.
posted by dhn at 3:39 PM on October 29, 2009

Glowsticks! Not sure what superpower they represent but a tube of glowsticks ($1 at Michaels, Party City, or Target!) is so much fun.
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 3:48 PM on October 29, 2009

How about a little hand drawn coupon that says "Good for 24 hours of you being invisible to me."

I'm trying to imagine a way that would fail to land you in a wonderfully kinky situation.
posted by paanta at 3:48 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hell, throw her a dinner party where all guests are required to pretend not to see her.
posted by paanta at 3:48 PM on October 29, 2009

Alternate idea: Give her lessons or gear for things that approximate superpowers, as much as us measly humans can provide.

Superman ... actual flying lessons in a Cessna.
Aquaman ... SCUBA certification.
Iron Man ... LEGO Mindstorms robotics kit.
Batman / Robin ... Circus trapeze lessons.
The Punisher ... a safe trip to an indoor shooting range, a rented pistol and safety lessons.
Speed Racer ... racing school.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:51 PM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Spider-Man ... rock-climbing lessons.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:51 PM on October 29, 2009

You could go meta on her and get her the copy of All-Star Superman where Superman gives Lois Lane superpowers for a day as a birthday present.
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 4:06 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

She needs a cape! And with Halloween upon us, you could probably run out and get one right now at any Target or Wal-Mart. And after Halloween (or the day of) you could probably get a good deal.

If you know anyone with the skills, you could get her some kind of custom shirt with her own superhero logo on it.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 4:09 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

A couple months of martial arts lessons would be pretty great.

OR: Night Vision Goggles.
posted by EatTheWeak at 4:29 PM on October 29, 2009

They are a bit expensive but there are some cool "mental powers" toys out there now. You wear a head set of sorts and using your brain and powers of concentration you move objects.

This is the Star Wars Force Trainer. You use the power of the Force and raise/lower a ball in a tube.

This is the MindFlex Mental Game. You basically move a ball around an obstacle course with the power of your mind!
posted by simplethings at 4:39 PM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

You could also print out iron-on designs for her. Or get fancy, and silk screen the design onto things.

In regards to capes: beware of cheap material that falls apart quickly. You could probably get some deluxe capes on a significant discount after Halloween, or you can make a basic cape with minimal sewing skills and then have control over the materials, colors and patterns.

One thing: if she likes The Incredibles, she might agree with Edna (scroll down to the "No capes" dialogue).
posted by filthy light thief at 4:41 PM on October 29, 2009

This would be expensive, but: Infra-red goggles? Maybe an infra-red camera?

You could offer to be her sidekick -- and dress up accordingly. In very tight clothing.
posted by amtho at 4:46 PM on October 29, 2009

Another vote for The Superpowers episode of This American Life. That was an amazing story!
posted by ellighi at 5:07 PM on October 29, 2009

Buy some miracle fruit to grant her super-eating powers.
posted by Paragon at 5:18 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

The graphic novel "Powers" written by Brian Michael Bendis and drawn by Michael Avon Oeming.
Here's a link to the first volume. (You can buy it on TPB or hardcover omnibuses.)

It's basically the story of what your girlfriend wishes her life could be, or at least the kind of world she'd like to live in. Great, great stuff.
posted by Detuned Radio at 5:28 PM on October 29, 2009

Moonroof I mefi mailed you.
posted by jopreacher at 6:16 PM on October 29, 2009

Go the other way. Help her design her secret identity. Act as if she already has super powers.
posted by filmgeek at 6:28 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

If you were up for it, you could give her the power of mind control over you. Maybe give her a book on hypnosis (and you would have to be a complicit subject to her new skill) or you could write a book of spells for mind control over you.

Unless yours is a brand-new relationship or you're the most dutiful boyfriend ever, I bet there's something she's wanted you to do or try that's just a bit out of your comfort zone. It could be something as simple as (for instance) cleaning the bathroom if you want to be boring about it. I bet you can think of something a hell of a lot more fun for both of you, though.

In order for the illusion to be effective, though, whatever she wills you to do (and unless you're really adventurous, you might want to give her some kind of specific "spell" or "mind control ray" that compels you to perform a specific action) you would suck it up without hesitation and just do it.

(As I reread this post, I realize it might be a little more super-villanous than super-heroic, but it could be fun anyway)
posted by The Potate at 7:15 PM on October 29, 2009

A good offense beings with a good defense. Here's a documentary on how you can build a pretty good one. Your on your own for a good source for titanium sheet.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 7:43 PM on October 29, 2009

It's free, but if she has an iPhone or iPod Touch, there's the Horrible Remote app (which for some infuriating reason I can't link to).
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 8:04 PM on October 29, 2009

These are all great ideas! Thank you all so much!
posted by moonroof at 8:33 PM on October 29, 2009

Also, take her measurements and have the nice lady at Artifice Clothing make her a custom superhero outfit.

Her clothes are bad ass and reasonable. for serious.

She also has a partner that makes actual robot wings, robotech exoskeleton gear and gauntlets.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:52 PM on October 29, 2009

Don't forget, she'll be needing a name, and a theme song.
posted by Acacia at 3:20 AM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]

Does she enjoy role playing? I had a lot of fun with that game back when it first came out.
posted by mikepop at 5:52 AM on October 30, 2009

night vision goggles
an infrared thermometer (the kind where you point it at something and press the button to read it's temp--I know it isn't really all that super of a power, but I know the temperature of everything around me !)
Anything with a flash drive hidden inside it---a pen, a watch, etc. Remember, batman doesn't have any superpowers, just kickass gadgets!
Something with a camera hidden in it would work great too
posted by midwestguy at 8:46 AM on October 30, 2009