Can an extrovert and introvert prosper together?
October 25, 2009 3:35 PM Subscribe
My girlfriend is extremely outgoing while I enjoy quite evenings at home. How do we keep both sides happy and satisfied?
posted by Sentus to Human Relations (22 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I met this sweet girl and we had an amazing start, so amazing in fact, that we moved together after a month of intensive dating.
We been together for four month now. Love each other dearly, share many same goals, have similar opinions and lifestyle(Eating healthy, exercising, sustainable farming) . Have great communication. Most of it is just pure bliss. But,
I am a classic introvert while she is a hardcore extrovert.
I enjoy quite evenings at home, playing the guitar, reading, writing, having long conversations, the occasional movie, meeting up with few close friends.
She loves being around people, knows a good chunk of the town by name. Loves to party, drink and socialize.
At first I thought it wont be a big problem, that we could find a middle ground. I could go to the events that she feels are especially important to her, rough it up and let her go out by her own to the rest. But the thing is she is way more outgoing than I thought. Most weekends she would go to two/three parties a day with an unofficial gatherings in between. We are talking about four to five hours a day. Most weekdays she'll have something going on for three hours or so. This is way way too much for me to handle. Whenever I do go, I am very unhappy, counting the moments to return home and afterwards it takes me hours to recharge and regain my sanity.
Please notice; I definitely don't want to change her. I think she is great the way she is. Trying to change people to your own image is futile and will often lead to resentment. I also don't believe I can REALLY change; Yeah I can acquire skills and experience but when all is said and done at my core I would still love to be alone/small company than big groups. I feel that extroverted and introverted people have their own strengths and weaknesses, and being more extroverted is not a goal for me.
I can fake it when I really want to, and appear welcoming, enjoying myself and looking interested, but obviously its just a charade and a very draining one. I was like that most of my life (introverted) and it "works" for me most of the time.
I love this girl and really don't want to screw it up.
Do you think our differences our too deep?
Anybody else was in the same boat? How did you guys coped? Did it worked out?
Words of general advice?
Ideas for a logical arrangement?
Sorry for any grammar mistakes, or just general awkwardness. English is not my main language.
Thank you and have a great day,