I beat myself up after sharing in meetings
October 14, 2009 10:46 AM Subscribe
Almost every meeting I go to and share anything I beat myself up afterwards.
This happens to me in business meetings and at something as simple as a knitting group.
At my knitting group, if I share something about my personal life, I feel judged, not only by the people in the group but by me!
It is so bad that it has even caused me to quit going to certain groups because it is so painful to feel the feelings after the meeting of "why did I say that?" , "she doesn't like me" , " I bragged when I shared that about my daughter" , why did I tell that story about my husband? and on it goes.
posted by seekingsimplicity to human relations (22 answers total) 64 users marked this as a favorite
I am an otherwise happy, well- adjusted, mostly confident woman of 50 years old.
My husband says it must be self-esteem. I feel unsafe in most groups and ALWAYS question ANYTHING I share!
I have even tried not saying much in the group/meeting but I always end up saying something and HATE it afterward.
Anyone have some tips for me? I can ruin lots of my day ruminating over the things I said, so I would like to get some help from you.
Yesterday I was in a meeting to discuss candidates for a position and I had some misgivings about the candidate in question. As soon as I shared my opinion, I started the whole "beat self up" routine. In the parking lot after the meeting, I saw 2 of the men from the meeting having a "parking lot meeting" and I "KNEW" (yeah right) they were discussing how pathetic my comments were.
I know in my heart that there in nothing "wrong" with what I say, but this habit of self-talk really gets me.
Do I just quit telling about my life and my feelings and keep to the facts and to surface conversation?