My 4th grader is in her first year of a program for gifted children. It is a competitive program, at a school outside our district, and acceptance was based on advanced language, reading, writing, and "liberal arts" ability. I thought my daughter's gifts -- all of which match the description above -- would be nurtured here. But I have been dismayed to realize that all her teacher cares about is that her desk is messy and her handwriting isn't neat enough. My child has sensory issues that do in fact make it harder for her to keep her things organized. But how can I talk to the teacher about focusing more on her gifts -- which is supposed to be the mission of this program? (Sorry, this is long.)
Early in the year, I had a special meeting with the teacher, who had been complaining about my kid's messy desk and general problems with organization (forgetting things, writing things in the wrong notebook, etc.) I explained about "Janey's" sensory integration issues and how these do make it harder to be organized BUT I stressed my support for the teacher -- I know it's hard to deal with messiness in the classroom with 25 kids, AND I know it's important for Janey to improve her basic organizing skills. I said I would do anything to help Janey get organized. I also requested that the school send in the Occupational Therapist to observe my daughter and see if she qualifies for services (an IEP). So far that hasn't yet happened, though I've twice reminded the principal.
On the application for this program, we were asked about the child's creativity, originality, intellectual drive, etc. No one asked if she had a messy desk or messy handwriting. But literally, that is ALL Janey is hearing about from the teacher. When she writes for school, the papers come back only with the handwriting criticized -- even though her handwriting has improved a lot and I see her working so hard at being legible. (For example, on a spelling test, all the "fs" were circled in red because the horizontal line did not *completely* bisect the vertical line; the teacher graded the whole paper down because it looked like a capital F in the wrong place. I have also seen very little actual writing being assigned, and none commented on -- mostly just spelling and handwriting -- even though it is supposed to be a program that specializes in advanced liberal arts.) On open house night, I saw a poem Janey had written on the wall of the classroom (along with all the kids' poems). It had sophisticated humor, a sustained narrative and the most complex meter in the class. But the only praise I heard was that that the janitor was happy that Janey's desk had been cleaned up last week. When I pointed out how good the poem was, the teacher said the class liked the fact that Janey had set it to a tune, and then the teacher just said all the kids' poems were good. This is the closest to praise that I have heard for any actual content of her work (and I feel I dragged it out of her). My daughter feels the teacher is making her seem "different" to the other kids, saying things like "Jane's desk is messy, she has to stay behind but the rest of you can go," etc.
I am really upset, because at least in the past, she's had teachers who delighted in her unique way of seeing and her huge enthusiasm for ideas. It is ironic that here, in a special ed for the gifted, her very real gifts are totally being ignored and she is just being made to feel like she gives the teacher extra work (because, for example, she put her backpack in the place of the closet where lunch boxes go, or has trouble being slow gathering up her books to move to math class in another part of the building). Really, *nothing* about Janey's true abilities seem encouraged or appreciated. The teacher has been a beloved teacher for 25 years, but this is only her second year teaching in the gifted program. She calls herself a "domestic goddess" to the class, so I get that messiness drives her nuts. When I talked to her early in the semester, she seemed to really want to work with my daughter to help her succeed, but she doesn't seem get this kind of gifted, quirky kid (who is the daughter of a domestic un-goddess). She just called my kid a "handful" and then raved to me about my Janey's friend in the class, who is methodical and neat as well as quite conventionally smart. I do understand that it feels like a handful to have a disorganized kid slowing things down (she is certainly not in any other way a behavior problem.) But I see my child's self-esteem about her real abilities plummeting, and this is precisely what I did NOT expect when we applied to the gifted program. It's frankly breaking my heart.
Here is the question. Please help me think of a way to talk to this teacher so that my daughter's strengths might be brought to the fore -- not just her weaknesses. Again, I am not trying to get the teacher to overlook a messy desk or an improperly crossed F, and I agree that my kid should work on these things, but I want the teacher at least to FOCUS on the gifts, which are ostensibly the raison d'etre of the program to begin with. How can I approach her so that she does not feel attacked and take it out more on Janey?
Any advice, especially from teachers, is very, very appreciated. This is in a large university town in the midwest, which doesn't have a regular gifted and talented program -- just this special program, which is hard to be accepted to, and where many professors (like me) send their children.
posted by anonymous to education (38 comments total)
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posted by ishotjr at 12:10 PM on October 10, 2009