My dog slowly went from loveable goofball to dog park bully. He's been on probation for about 6 months, and I'd like to start the process of re-socializing him and (hopefully) someday return to the dog park. How do I do this without putting any other dogs in danger -- especially considering that I don't currently know any other dog owners, and I don't have a good private space for doggie playdates?
My dog is a 3-year-old 50-lb. boxer mix. He might have some pittie-type genes in him, but it's debatable. Once upon a time, he was a happy-go-lucky pup who went to doggie daycare twice a week and never had any problems with other dogs. I took him to dog parks all the time, he chased his ball, he romped with other dogs and had a great time. Life was good.
When he was a little less than 2 years, he started to get into scuffles with other dogs -- quick explosions that were over as soon as they had begun. At that point, it never seemed like he was instigating, just defending himself from more dominant dogs that tried to bully him. No one was ever hurt, and most owners recognized it as normal dog behavior and weren't bothered.
It slowly got worse. He started getting into serious fights, always with intact males (he's neutered). He would instigate fights. He'd trot over to a dog, put his head over their shoulder, and if they moved their head toward him, BAM -- snarling, yelping, biting, owners screaming, dogs being pulled apart and me walking my bully home in humiliation. He seems like a pretty clear case of a socially insecure beta-male trying to prove himself. He hasn't seriously injured any dogs, but he's scared the bejesus out of me.
After 3 of those and a few other close calls, I finally admitted to myself that I couldn't trust him around other dogs. Some dogs he is totally fine with, but it got so unpredictable that it didn't seem worth the risk.
It has been about 6 months since he's been to a dog park. We walk every day, I'm starting to go running with him every day, we train at home, and through training he's showing definite improvements in his general behavior. We still don't have much contact with other dogs, and when he meets other dogs on his leash he's usually happy and does play-bows or jumps around and whines and wags his tail -- all great signs -- but I still get really tense. I try to breathe and calm down but it's so hard to quell that fear that he's going to hurt another dog. It might even be an instinctual response for me now -- he gets close to a dog and my lizard brain floods my body with adrenaline to prepare for the possibility of an attack.
OK, so here's what I need your help with:
I've read practically every dog book ever written. Patricia McConnell is my hero. So I know I need to relax, and I'll only be able to do that by getting practice seeing him play well with other dogs. I think my first step needs to be to set up a private playdate with a dog he gets along with, but I'm not even sure how to realistically make that happen. I don't have any friends with dogs, and I'm too shy to set up a playdate with other dog owners I see on the street.
Also, I live in Boston and don't have a good private space to host a playdate. I have a tiny yard but it's not big enough for 2 dogs to really run around. There are fenced dog parks but they're always crammed with dogs. There are fenced non-dog parks, but when I step foot in them with my dog I get yelled at by passers-by for having the audacity to bring a dog into a completely empty park.
I'm so frustrated, and so sad for my little guy, but I'm not ready to give up and doom him to a life of no contact with other dogs. Hive, do you have any suggestions or tips for me? How can I get him back to that happy, well-adjusted pup he used to be?
posted by roscopcoletrane to pets & animals (23 comments total)
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posted by Static Vagabond at 8:30 AM on October 6