Why is it / When you / Try to pass / The guy in front / Goes twice as fast?

October 5, 2009 7:32 PM

Burma Shave jingles for marathon runners.

I got such a kick out of the Burma Shave-style jingles that MeFites wrote for this question that I'd like to do something similar for a friend who's running the Chicago marathon this weekend. So help me out with your best marathon or running related couplets.

posted by MsMolly to sports, hobbies, & recreation (15 comments total)

While you're not even
Halfway there
I'm on my couch
Having a beer.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:45 PM on October 5 [1 favorite has favorites]

26 miles seems like /
climbing a mountain /
soon enough you'll be /
at Buckingham Fountain /
Gatorade
posted by Frank Grimes at 7:45 PM on October 5

All these people
Running on their feet
Don't then know
Cash buys a senate seat?
posted by Frank Grimes at 7:48 PM on October 5

You could give up now
but then you wouldn't find out
that this series of signs
has no punchline
posted by phrontist at 7:57 PM on October 5 [2 favorites has favorites]

I know these signs
Make me a pest
But save your 'nails
For my necklace
posted by Decimask at 7:59 PM on October 5

At water stations
Take plenty of sips.
Hope you used Band-Aids
To prevent bloody nips.
posted by Andy's Gross Wart at 8:02 PM on October 5

Those Boys Town cheerleaders
Like to shake and wag.
But take a closer look:
They're men in drag.
posted by Andy's Gross Wart at 8:08 PM on October 5

If you lived here,
you'd be home by now.
Gatorade.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:12 PM on October 5

If you complain
Of calves exploding
Next time you need
More carbo loading
Olive Garden.
posted by persona at 8:44 PM on October 5 [2 favorites has favorites]

The ground is hard
The road less traveled
Watch you step
Lace unraveled
posted by furtive at 8:46 PM on October 5

When you hit the wall
At mile nine
Just picture beer
At the finish line
posted by Acacia at 10:46 PM on October 5 [1 favorite has favorites]

I placed these signs with
Decreased spacing.
They'll make you think
You're really racing.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:46 PM on October 5 [4 favorites has favorites]

MsMolly Wants
To Give You
A High Five!
Get Ready!
MsMolly [down arrow]

Ripped off from (inspired by, if you like) Improv Everywhere, of course.
You'd have to be willing to stand out there for a while around the time you expect your friend to run by the spot, but it would probably be almost as much fun as Rob had at the escalator.

You could still personalize it a bit, and get a heads-up for your friend's imminent arrival by having someone hold up a first sign saying
Hey, [Friend's Name]!!!
when they see her or him come into range.
posted by zoinks at 12:33 AM on October 6

I hope, like Popeye,
You ate your spinach,
It's twenty miles,
Until the finich!

Atop this crest,
The view is clear,
At least it's all,
Downhill from here.
posted by Zonker at 5:23 AM on October 6

These are awesome, guys. Thanks! Here's one that came to me last night as I was falling asleep.

Humpty didn't keep
on pace.
Hit the Wall.
Much egg
on face.
posted by MsMolly at 9:07 AM on October 7