R-E-S-P-E-C-T - it means wierd things to me...
September 17, 2009 4:29 PM Subscribe
I think I'm ready to transition from being a person who primarily wants to be liked to a person who primarily wants to be respected
posted by kitcat to Society & Culture (13 answers total) 25 users marked this as a favorite
I'm very respectable. I'm responsible, interesting, a good and caring person, yada yada.
But I don't openly stand my ground. I don't take leadership roles. I avoid talking about my achievements. If I've asserted myself, I feel funny about it and backtrack into being sheepish and self-effacing. All this, because I'm afraid that while I might be respected more for doing these things, they feel icky and make me uncomfortable. I don't want to intimidate other people. The thought of being an intimidating person horrifies me. I also don't want to become insensitive to others. I don't want to be seen as arrogant, or a jerk. I don't want to come off as though I think I'm better than other people. The qualms go on and on...
When I was much younger, I got my social currency from being pitied. People were attracted to a) dominating me; or b) taking care of me. Now that I'm not such a moron, I get that social currency from being likeable and thus well-liked. But I think I'm ready to graduate to being respected.
Please help me figure out how I can do this, especially given my wierd hang-up(s)!