Suggestiong for Toddler Wrangling Book?

September 6, 2009 3:59 PM

Desperate friend has turned to me for book suggestions on her three year old. Ideally available in Australia, but Amazon is always possible. What are your killer books for nailing the second really difficult time in a parent's life.... the 2-3year old?

For some context... what she just wrote to me:

"You read so much, what is your recommendation for a field book on a) understanding the psychology of a 3 year old b) dealing with it and c) on Mummy management - talk about pushing boundaries - I didn't realise I had so much pent up anger - it kind of scares me. Need help.
Ta muchly,"


She's a loving and patient mum, and her ratbag 3 year old is actually a lovely kid.... with completely normal 3 year old behaviours. ToddlerTaff is turning 3 in a few weeks so I'm excited to hear any suggestions too.

We both have younger kids and protecting them from their older siblings is hard. And doing the one on one thing is also a challenge.

Looking forward to some good handling manuals for our toddlercrats. Thanks possums.

posted by taff to human relations (9 comments total)

I really liked The Emotional Life of the Toddler, recommended to me by a therapist.
posted by runningwithscissors at 4:01 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

I like the Ames and Ilg series, each book covers a year.

Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy by Louise Bates Ames and Frances L. Ilg might be worth checking out.
posted by gnat at 4:02 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

Toddler Taming, by Dr Christopher Green. (It's the only reason I have survived single parenthood thus far.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:09 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

Scream Free Parenting - By Edward Runkel, full stop.

Based on what your friend has indicated as her desires this book is exactly what she needs. It talks about the childs needs, the parents needs, and how to focus on both so that the parent can help guide the child, not control them. How to deal with yourself so you can deal with your kids.

You can get it on audible.com as well so that's an option.
posted by swimbikerun at 5:18 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

The best is The Magic Years, by Selma Fraiberg.
posted by jasper411 at 5:18 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

1, 2, 3 Magic was serious magic in our household when dealing not just with a vibrant three year old, but a 3 year old with an autism spectrum disorder. It's gentle but firm and it still works now that the toddler is 7!
posted by headspace at 5:23 PM on September 6 [2 favorites]

The Incredible Years, by Carolyn Webster-Stratton. I do wish they'd put out another edition with a better cover, because that one's terrible -- but it's a great book. It's written for parents of children with behavioral problems, but the techniques work for anyone. One thing I particularly like is that it addresses self-care for the parents, and how to keep your cool when your children are driving you out of your tree.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:00 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

The Mighty Toddler. Robin Barker's Baby Love is the only book you need for your baby, and the sequel is the only book you'll need for a toddler. It's 100% Australian - she can even get it at Big W.

*strokes book....my precioussssss....*
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:43 AM on September 7 [1 favorite]

I marked them all as best answers because they were recommendations for a friend. Each one has a benefit, and I dare say she'll look at them all over the next little while. Thank you folks.


She particularly like the Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy by Louise Bates Ames and Frances L. Ilg that GNAT recommended. ...and I love the idea of Scream Free parenting. I probably also need Snide-Free Spousing if anyone ever writes it.
posted by taff at 1:48 PM on October 7