My obsession with Miss Manners knows no bounds

August 28, 2009 9:41 PM

I need help finding something Miss Manners said about budgets and guest lists.

I've been searching my copy of the blue bible, but I haven't been able to find it so far. It might still be in there, another book, or a column. Heck, it could be some other etiquette writer (but I doubt it, because I love Miss Manners above all others).

The passage said that when you're putting together a guest list for a party or a wedding (I thought wedding, but I've scoured that section and found nothing, so maybe it was something else), you should think first of the people you want to invite and then build a party from there based on what you can afford to provide for those people, instead of thinking of your party first and your guest list second.

I want to reference it in something I'm writing because the thing I remember was so Miss Manners and so perfect, but I cannot find it and I hope I didn't imagine it. If you can find it, a link or page number would be most appreciated, because I am going crazy.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero to writing & language (7 comments total)

Check out page 389 here
posted by padraigin at 9:48 PM on August 28

Strangely enough, those passages aren't it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:05 PM on August 28 [1 favorite]

Oh, heck.

I'll check the Millicent Fenwick version of The Vogue Book of Etiquette.

Totally ancient, may be google-able.... but damn if that text doesn't surpass Miss Manners! Yes, I have both:)

Your desired quote could be from anywhere, but the philosophy behind the construction of social gatherings you describe reminds me of the Vogue book. FWIW.

I'll report back.
posted by jbenben at 10:33 PM on August 28

I'll check my Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt in the morning, also my Judith Martin "Etiquette for the New Millennium". Will also report back.
posted by padraigin at 10:47 PM on August 28

check yo mefimail
posted by Ashley801 at 11:06 PM on August 28

Is it this?

"Budget tips almost always attack wedding guests' enjoyment first. Rarely does even DIY bridal wisdom suggest that less should be spent on attire for the wedding party, but favors for the guest are consistently discussed as a way to "cut corners" in a tight budget. Miss Manners suggests that, again, your wedding guests come first. Instead of drawing up your menu and venue and deciding how many people you can invite, she recommends that proper priorities are guests first, menu next."

If so, page 1 of that articles says it's from her book On Weddings.
posted by iconomy at 11:07 PM on August 28

Ashley801 found it! Yaaaay. I'm so happy. Thank you all for your help.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:25 AM on August 29 [1 favorite]