Welcome to "_____," would you like a bagel with that?
July 28, 2009 4:00 PM   Subscribe

If you were opening a cafe that primarily served bagels (and their variations), pastries, coffee (and coffee related drinks), and tea, what would you call it? The wittier the better! (Non-witty are also welcome to apply.)

I previously asked a question about opening a bagel store, primarily asking for tips, advice, and ideas. I received a few name recs.

However, I've since decided that I'd like the business to be part coffee shop, part-bagel store - so all of my names that directly pertained to bagels (and I had pages and pages of name riffing on pop culture, where the word bagel was inserted into popular quotes and movie titles) have become moot.

I know the hive mind is clever, and I want my coffee-shop/bagel-shop/thing to be clever, too!

(If it helps: we'll be located in Carmel, NY, in a plaza off of route 6. I don't know why it would. But then, I'm not very witty.)
posted by firei to Food & Drink (59 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
MetaBagel
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:06 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Why don't you look up the history of your town or region and name it after some colorful founder (long dead, of course) thus integrating your business, from the start, into the community?
posted by wfrgms at 4:08 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Joe Schmear
Java Nagila
Noshville
posted by Frank Grimes at 4:08 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


TeaBagel
posted by astrochimp at 4:09 PM on July 28, 2009


Continental (breakfast)
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:10 PM on July 28, 2009


Kay Can Eat it Too ("cake and eat it too")

Even better if your name is Kay or has a 'k' in it.

Double plus good if you open a second shop: Kay Can Eat it Too 2!
posted by Kickstart70 at 4:19 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think you should reconsider making it clear that you sell bagels. A bagel shop is always going to have coffee/tea/pastries/etc., but a coffee shop is not going to necessarily have good fresh bagels. I am always going to choose a bagel shop over a regular old coffee shop.
posted by amethysts at 4:21 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Coffee Cakes (plays off a commonly known pastry, but also implies that there is both coffee and pastries there).
posted by SpacemanStix at 4:24 PM on July 28, 2009


The Hole Thing?
posted by lleachie at 4:27 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


It probably is a good idea to emphasize the bagels, as amethysts suggests. I think that most people will assume that bagels shops will have drinks, but not necessarily the other way around.

On that note: Not Just Bagels.
posted by SpacemanStix at 4:34 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Carb Cafe
posted by jclovebrew at 4:34 PM on July 28, 2009


Noshferatu

Ella's Olde-Fashioned 'Internet' Cafe

WORLD FAMOUS BEST COFFEE WITH BAGELS AND PASTRY TO EAT TOO s.a.

Food of the Gods and Jews

Hi Octane Coffee and Regular Bagels

Vegetarian Bagels and Coffee from a Jungle Not Near You

Bagelteria

Luxurious Simple Comestibles

Munch'n'Gulp

Victoria's Secret Breakfast

Caffination/Bagelification

Eat Brown - Drink Brown
posted by hexatron at 4:38 PM on July 28, 2009


I'd argue that perhaps it would be "clever" to put a location clue in your shop's name, to aid people seeing it on your advertising, or service materials in finding you:

Route 6 Bagel Barn
Rt 6 Joe & Bagel ("joe" being the WWI U.S. Navy term for a cup of coffee)
Route 6 Bagels & More
posted by paulsc at 4:39 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Please keep in mind that if you take the "witty" far enough, especially into the realm of puns, some of us will be too embarrassed to ever say it aloud.

Me: "Yeah, I went to that new bagel place over off route six. It was really good."
Her: "Oh? I'll have to try it. What's it called?"
Me: "Ummmm... I... don't remember."

I recommend descriptive and memorable. How 'bout these?

Bagels and Whatnot
Carmel Craft Coffee and Pastry (CCCP, get it?)
Bagel Brigade
posted by Netzapper at 4:41 PM on July 28, 2009


I suggest the utterly un-clever Bagel Cafe. It's a cafe, and you also sell and serve bagels. Why complicate matters?

Or, $CityName Bagels. Because it's located in $CityName. That'll make it easy to remember.

I'm racking my brain to come up with even one instance in my life where I made a dining choice based on an eatery having a cute name. Coming up with 0. I think it ultimately does your business a disservice, as though you're depending on the trickery of a wry name to overcompensate for what's behind the doors.
posted by contessa at 4:45 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Cagels: Coffee & Bagels. And I'd make the logo look like a woman's face winking, as if to suggest Cagels is really a play on something else.
posted by 2oh1 at 4:45 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Lox o' bagel
posted by bunny hugger at 4:54 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


{Location} Bagels and More or {Location} Coffee and Bagels would appeal most to me, as a frequenter of coffee-bagel places. I am a giant fan of Beach Bagels Cafe in Old Orchard Beach, for example.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:56 PM on July 28, 2009


Torus
posted by effluvia at 4:57 PM on July 28, 2009 [5 favorites]


I'm going to extend Netzapper's warning about shop names to include avoiding anything that people might be reluctant to say. For example, please do not use the word "schmear". At all. Ever. I grew up with the Internet and the word "smear" has so many horrible, horrible connotations for me. You do not want me thinking about tubgirl and your bagels at the same time.

Coincidentally, Netzapper's "Bagel Brigade" is my favorite of all of these suggestions. I really like The Hole Thing, too, but again - post-traumatic flashbacks to Goatse.
posted by McBearclaw at 5:21 PM on July 28, 2009


There used to be a bagel place in East Lansing called Bagel Fragel, and I thought it would have been better as Bagel Schmagel.
posted by tizzie at 5:22 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Nthing the above who recommend against getting too clever for many reasons: people won't say it, people won't remember where it is, and you'll end up hating it 2yrs from now.

(That is, please don't be a hairdresser.)
posted by rokusan at 5:23 PM on July 28, 2009


roll - with -a - hole
BagelJava or javaBagel
bagels & java
Cup of (or cuppa, cup a) Joe's Bagels
hole outta bagels (whole lotta bagels)
bagels and joe

...yeah I'm not very good at that wit stuff whatever that is
posted by grablife365 at 5:31 PM on July 28, 2009


Most of today's marketing seems to be focused on simplicity and get-to-the-pointedness in business, and as such you may want to think of something like:

The Perfect Bagel

or maybe something more specifically bagel-ish like:

Everything Bagel

and last but not least, simple but powerful:

Round
posted by analogue at 5:34 PM on July 28, 2009


I can't write this in code so I'll have to type it out:

square root of 6 Bagels
posted by Pollomacho at 5:43 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm with contessa: unless you're in a large metro area, don't bother with cute and clever. The best bagel shop in my home town is just called "G & A" - it's been around for years, while the cutesy little cafes come and go every few years (if they last that long).
posted by unmake at 5:44 PM on July 28, 2009


Bagel Bagel
BAGELS
Pickle
Sliced
So Good We Don't Need a Name
posted by 913 at 6:06 PM on July 28, 2009


Bagels and Brew?
Brewin' Bagels?
posted by rebel_rebel at 6:06 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Carmel Bagelry
posted by JujuB at 6:34 PM on July 28, 2009


The Java Hole
posted by chez shoes at 6:49 PM on July 28, 2009


The Holy Roast
posted by zadcat at 6:56 PM on July 28, 2009


Gull Bay Cafe
posted by ethnomethodologist at 7:03 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


The Bagel Bar
Bagel Joe's
Barrista Bagels
Bagels and Beans
Bagel Espresso
The Lox Box
The Little Bagel Cafe
The Busy Bagel Cafe
The Amazing Bagel Cafe
Anything along the lines of The [something fun or unique about your shop] Bagel Cafe
posted by platinum at 7:41 PM on July 28, 2009


Fagela Bagel
posted by now i'm piste at 7:50 PM on July 28, 2009


I think it's always fun when the gimmick is on the inside. Tie it subtly to an otherwise ordinary name and it'll be super memorable.
posted by Skwirl at 7:53 PM on July 28, 2009


Reinventing the Wheel
posted by Obscure Reference at 8:03 PM on July 28, 2009


"Bagels and Stuff"
Label the menu above the counter with "Bagels" on one side and "and stuff" on the other (coffee, etc.)
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:06 PM on July 28, 2009


Javahweh
The Kabbaleh Cafe
The Toasted Roast
Manna Overboard
Call Your Mother
Eat, Eat!
You Should Be So Hungry
The Breakfast Bar Mitzvah
The Kosher Krackhaus
I Got Your Bagel Right Here!
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 8:18 PM on July 28, 2009


Don't name your shop after your address. In NY the Second Avenue Deli had to move, and it's now between Lexington and Third.

What if you decide to sell something else other than bagels? What if the coffee proves more popular and you focus on that? I'd choose something positive but generic enough that it gives you the freedom to change your offerings as needed.
posted by lsemel at 8:33 PM on July 28, 2009


My favorite bagel place is called The Bagel Store. They make REALLY good bagels.
posted by kdar at 8:38 PM on July 28, 2009


Round Here
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:02 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ooh! ooh! I've got it . . .

THE DAILY BAGEL (like in the Daily Bugle)
posted by Sassyfras at 9:06 PM on July 28, 2009


Everything Bagel
Fort Lox
The Breakfast Club
Lava Java
Kate the whole thing
Bagel Bazaar
Good Morning America
Toasted Bagel
Beagle Bagel
posted by jasondigitized at 9:14 PM on July 28, 2009


What you need to do is, make it a combination bagel bar and cigar store. Then you call it Holey Smokes.

You're welcome.
posted by Joe in Australia at 9:26 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


amethysts: "I think you should reconsider making it clear that you sell bagels. A bagel shop is always going to have coffee/tea/pastries/etc., but a coffee shop is not going to necessarily have good fresh bagels. I am always going to choose a bagel shop over a regular old coffee shop."

Yes.
posted by radioamy at 10:34 PM on July 28, 2009


Pollomacho: "I can't write this in code so I'll have to type it out:

square root of 6 Bagels
"

What?
posted by radioamy at 10:35 PM on July 28, 2009


I wonder. Is it...

(√6) Bagels?

or

√(6 Bagels)

I'm guessing the later, since you'd just reduce and round the former to "2.5 Bagels".
posted by Netzapper at 11:23 PM on July 28, 2009


OOOOOOHHHHHHH!

You'd read it as "root six bagels", as in "route six bagels".

This is an example of one of those names that's too clever to be usable.

Especially because lots of people (like me) pronounce "route" as "rowt", not "root".
posted by Netzapper at 11:27 PM on July 28, 2009


Years back in St Louis, there was this dude who converted an entire house into a coffee shop. Complete with rooms and doors and furniture and shit. Called the place Sacred Grounds. Some nights, this local jazz band would come play in the living room -- just a bunch of guys who knew each other, really -- called the Perfect Fourth. Before their set, we'd go out and puff down, come back in and order an Ice Mocha Joe and a slice of cheesecake. We'd settle in and listen to these four guys show us how the music was DONE. So mellow, so sweet, so smooth. Really they were just pulling it out of their asses at the time, but to this one white boy from The County, it was pure magic.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:37 PM on July 28, 2009


"Get your kicks on 'rowt' 66" just doesn't have the same je ne sais quoi.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:22 AM on July 29, 2009


Has-beans and bun-holes
posted by ndicecco at 5:49 AM on July 29, 2009


For want of being too marketing-y, when you come to choose from one of the many awesome suggestions, have a think about what kind of person lives/works nearby and is likely to use your cafe. Cos as well as telling people what to expect when they enter the store (coffee and bagels) the name also makes people visualise what kind of place it is inside, before they get there. And you want whatever name you choose to be inviting to your most likely source of customers.

For example a witty name indicates quirk and character, it could also put people off if they think it's too 'hipster' (but that's not a problem if your audience is hipsters). A straightforward name could suggest an interior that is more functional rather than somewhere to lounge - but if your passing trade is busy working types that's not a problem. Maybe worth having a think of 3-5 words that describe the 'feel' you want to create in your new business, and using that as an additional filter when you pick your new name from all the ideas the hivemind gives you.
posted by Skaramoosh at 6:18 AM on July 29, 2009


Hole in the Wall.
posted by modernnomad at 7:02 AM on July 29, 2009


53 comments in less than 24 hours. Hive mind, you are the best!
posted by firei at 7:04 AM on July 29, 2009


Bagelpalooza

or

Bagel Mania
posted by Spyder's Game at 11:57 AM on July 29, 2009


BAGEL CAFE
posted by chugg at 1:56 PM on July 29, 2009


I like the "Bagels and Beans" suggested upthread. It's simple and is exactly what it is. It's easy to remember and has a good mouth feel. Might want to use an ampersand instead of the word and.
posted by deborah at 3:16 PM on July 29, 2009


Able Bagels
posted by PunkSoTawny at 9:17 AM on July 30, 2009


Just keep in mind that the cleverer the name of your place its, the greater likelihood it becomes known as "that bagel place with the stupid name"
posted by softlord at 3:21 PM on August 2, 2009


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