More bounce for the ounce: Any suggestions for a ridiculous, over-the-top push up bra?

July 21, 2009 8:50 AM

Any suggestions for a ridiculous, over-the-top push up bra? I'm 5'3, 145# and bra size 38-A and am trying to find a crazy, I See Wot You Did There bra as a joke. Yes, the bra size is accurate. I'm all A and no T! I'm specifically looking for specific brand names/lines. My price range is approx. $75.00.
posted by ShadePlant to shopping (19 comments total)

38A is going to be tough to find in a push-up bra. I recommend going to either Frederick's of Hollywood or an old-school lingerie store.

Wacoal's Pretty Powerful is a very good push-up bra, but I don't know if it comes in 38A. They do sell it at Nordstrom's and Macy's and Dillards.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:57 AM on July 21

I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for. Are you looking for a ridiculous over-the-top push up bra in terms of what it does to your boobs? Or crazy and over the top in terms of cheesy and leopard print/lace/ruffles/etc?
posted by wuzandfuzz at 8:58 AM on July 21

OK, this is going to sound crazy, but try Wal-Mart. No, you're not going to find the most comfortable natural beautifully made bra that you never want to take off. You will find lots of push-up bras in blue leopard print for very cheap, which sounds like it would work well for you.

I would suggest using a push up bra in conjunction with bra inserts. Here is a classy, prettily packaged brand I've seen in Beauty First stores. Here is a much cheaper brand sold on TV that according to the reviews does the exact same thing.

If you do decide to do bra inserts take them with you when you go bra shopping to make sure they fit and work together.
posted by Juliet Banana at 9:04 AM on July 21

I am looking for a laughable, obviously fake size increase. Cheesy, leopard print lace whatever can't hurt.
posted by ShadePlant at 9:06 AM on July 21

Aaaah. You want the Ripplu.
posted by spec80 at 9:08 AM on July 21

Well, if you're looking for a substantial size increase, a push up isn't going to help much because at 38A, there's not a tremendous amount to push anywhere. So you're going to need a *padded* push up, that's going to be key. Something along the lines of this should work.
posted by crankylex at 9:19 AM on July 21

For maximum increase, consider pairing some of these in extra large with a push-up bra.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:21 AM on July 21

For the record, there IS something to push up. Even sales people don't think I'm a 38 A because I am petite and look bustier but bigger cups are kind of, half empty, and smaller around is not comfortable. =)
posted by ShadePlant at 9:35 AM on July 21

Can you try a corset or a corset-like girdle thingy? I feel your pain about finding that specific bra size and a corset seems to produce the effect you're looking for. Or so I've heard, ahem.
posted by Eumachia L F at 9:46 AM on July 21

For the record, there IS something to push up.

Even so, inserts are key to achieving an over-the-top push-up bra look.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:57 AM on July 21

Pushup bras don't make your boobs look that much bigger, they just move your boobs into the centre of your chest to give you cleavage. That can actually make small boobs look kind of smaller because from the front you'll be able to see ribcage on the outside of the boobs. But you can counter this.

For the best results I'd suggest layering two bras:

- A pushup bra to give you cleavage. For instance, the classic Wonderbras were pretty good. Bend forward and use your hands to pull everything up and in as much as possible, and wear the shoulder straps tight for maximum hoist.

- Use makeup to contour your cleavage. (Apply powder a couple shades lighter and darker than your real skin tone- investigate the dollar store or teenager brands of makeup to save money)

- On top of the Wonderbra, wear an inexpensive or borrowed bra, maybe in a C or D cup. You're going to be stuffing this, so get one with thick, molded cups to smooth out any bumps.

- Stuff the space between the Wonderbra and the big bra with something. Those chicken cutlet things they sell in lingerie stores are good because the weight of them looks right, but they're like $40, so if you want to save money you can use whatever you want. Socks or something. Small waterballoons, I dunno.

- Move the stuffing around so it sits sort of on the outside of each boob- from the front, you want the outside of each boob to stick out kind of past your ribcage for an hourglass look.

- Wear something to cinch your waist and draw attention to the boobs- a V-neck top and a tight belt, for instance. Compared to a small waist they'll look even bigger.

Stop looking at me like that, I'm a professional actor with a sketch comedy background. That's the only reason I know this stuff, I swear.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 9:58 AM on July 21 [10 favorites]

The two bra technique outlined above is very, very good.
posted by kathrineg at 10:02 AM on July 21

pseudostrabismus is a genius. Do what he (?) says.
posted by anastasiav at 10:06 AM on July 21

Seconding the stuffing. When I was a petite A-cup drama student, the costume department managed to give me stupendous Marie-Antoinette-period cleavage with nothing more than a bodice and an enormous amount of cotton wool.
posted by Billegible at 10:07 AM on July 21

pseudostrabismus's suggestion works great if you're not going to be taking off your clothing. If what you want is to show up for a date all booberiffic and then get funky later, I would stick with the push-up bra plus cutlets.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:09 AM on July 21

If you have H&M, check out their selection. They're cheap ($18 or so), so after a year or two they start falling apart, but until that point, they're actually really good. & definately can find some crazy fabric. (p.s., some styles have pockets for bra inserts/padding, which may come in handy for yr question).
posted by ejaned8 at 10:13 AM on July 21

All the suggestions are helpful, and LOL at the chicken cutlets, but Sidhedevil hits mostly on what I will be doing. The joke goes along the lines of the first time I met this guy I was wearing a slightly padded bra. I call it my Nerf bra. Guy says, "Nice try, but any more padding than 1/2 an inch and guys start to think there's a penis somewhere." We've laughed about this (and his hideous, juvenile Joe Boxers) and next time I meet up with him and our friends I want to look as boobalicious as possible just for LOLs... And I hope it comes off later with easy access to the real deal.
posted by ShadePlant at 10:18 AM on July 21

Oh, in that case you definitely need to go with pseudostrabismus's suggestion. The fakiness is the point, if it's impressively complicated he'll want a chance to admire your engineering up close (wink wink) and if he can get you out of one bra he can get you out of two.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:04 AM on July 21 [1 favorite]

Coming in late to a) empathize as a fellow 38A-er and b) to suggest a 36C. It seems maybe counterintuitive but I've had success there (since 38As are almost impossible to find and even when i do, they're sometimes strangely too big in the cup).
posted by superkim at 12:01 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]