Where is Orwell when you need him?

July 14, 2009 1:00 PM

If a pig was running for office, what would his/her slogan be?

I am having some art made for some colleagues' and my offices. Since we work in politics and animal agriculture, I thought it would awesome to have campaign posters of the 7 major species running for office. They can either be running individually or as a pair - such as a chicken and turkey running on the same ticket. Now I am looking for campaign slogans.

Here is the list of major species.

Dog
Cat
Cow
Horse
Pig (Bringing home the bacon?)
Turkey
Chicken (A me in every pot?)

Preferences:

While these may be in a professional environment, I am not averse to making a couple extra for my house, so no limits on common decency.

Bonus Question: Every other animal is considered (by the FDA) to be a minor species. What would be the funniest animal to be "the voice for the minority"? A llama? A gold fish?

Thanks in advance, and have fun!

posted by gagoumot to media & arts (55 comments total)

No more pork barrel spending!
posted by sjuhawk31 at 1:03 PM on July 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'll help you bring home the bacon!
posted by chicainthecity at 1:03 PM on July 14

You can always use the old Pigasus slogan:

"They elect a president and he eats the people. We elect a president and the people eat him."
posted by nasreddin at 1:03 PM on July 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

Cat: If elected, I will not serve.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:04 PM on July 14 [4 favorites has favorites]

Chicken: Free Range you can believe in?
posted by oinopaponton at 1:05 PM on July 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

Chicken and Turkey on the same ticket:

"Hit the Polls for Poultry!"
posted by sjuhawk31 at 1:06 PM on July 14 [2 favorites has favorites]

Cow:
I will lower your taxes, because I have no idea what they are.

Where's the beef? It's right fucking here.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:07 PM on July 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

Pig: Let's get cracklin'

Dog: Arf arf arf, arf arf arf. Arf!
posted by bondcliff at 1:08 PM on July 14

Better poultry than paltry.

(Better a Third Term Than a Third-Rater-1940 U.S. presidential campaign slogan of Franklin D. *Roosevelt, which refers to Roosevelt's election for a third term as president)

Swap to a horse in midstream.

(Don't swap horses in midstream — 1864 U.S. presidential campaign slogan of Abraham Lincoln)
posted by multivalent at 1:10 PM on July 14 [2 favorites has favorites]

Pig: Step up to the trough, America!


Dog: So every American has a bone and something to roll in.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:12 PM on July 14

YES WE HAM
posted by Lou Stuells at 1:13 PM on July 14 [27 favorites has favorites]

A slop for every trough.
posted by gabrielsamoza at 1:15 PM on July 14

Horse: something to do with nays! my brain is fried, but you know, yea and nay? maybe i am the only one making that connection. hm.
posted by kerning at 1:17 PM on July 14

Cat: Ask not what I can do for you, but what you can do for me.
posted by permafrost at 1:18 PM on July 14 [7 favorites has favorites]

Goldfish: Are you better off than you were five seconds ago?
posted by permafrost at 1:24 PM on July 14 [14 favorites has favorites]

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog
posted by IndigoJones at 1:29 PM on July 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

Four legs good, two legs bad?
posted by notsnot at 1:31 PM on July 14

Horse: Give me forty acres and a donkey, and I'll give you forty acres and a mule
posted by grobstein at 1:40 PM on July 14 [2 favorites has favorites]

The pig says, "My wife is a slut."
posted by jacob at 1:43 PM on July 14

"Got lipstick?"
posted by 8dot3 at 1:43 PM on July 14 [2 favorites has favorites]

Here in Texas (Lajitas, Texas) we have a goat for a mayor. Really, this is believable some of the folks we've sent to up to Washington.

His name is Clay Henry III. His office is at the Trading Post, where a sign hangs that reads "Bribes Accepted". Bribes come in the form of beer, which you can buy and give to him (and he drinks it).

In the most recent election, "the roster was heated with Tommy Steele [a human Houstonian] running for re-election against the Trading Post wooden Indian, a local ranch dog named “Buster,” and Clay Henry the goat. Clay Henry won this election by a landslide…and the tradition continues today with Clay Henry III."

His platform was a simple one, as befitting a goat: "You just have to give a darn." I think he won because he was the most-qualified candidate, and he has a great promo photo. For your project, I'd like to nominate Clay Henry III for the position of the voice of the minority. He's got experience, after all. And he gives a darn.
posted by Houstonian at 1:46 PM on July 14 [3 favorites has favorites]

Pig: I like Oink! (after Eisenhower's slogan)
Cow: It's the e-cow-nomy, stupid!
Horse: Join the whinny-ing team!
posted by baxter_ilion at 1:46 PM on July 14

Turkey: Term limited by Thanksgiving
posted by IanMorr at 1:48 PM on July 14

Chicken: the buk-buk-buk stops here.

okay... I should get back to work.
posted by baxter_ilion at 1:48 PM on July 14 [2 favorites has favorites]

Horse: The truth, straight from the horse's mouth!

Dog: Vote for your best friend!

Cat: Vote for me, and I'll consider sparing your life.

Cow: {I totally wanted to do a Cow-mander-In-Chief pun, but nothing good is hitting me.}

Pig: (Too many good ones already.)

Turkey, Chicken: (Got nothing.)

For the minority party, it's got to be the m00se. :)
posted by Citrus at 1:54 PM on July 14

One more thing about Clay Henry III, your future Voice for the Minority: He won't mess around with the lady goats. Clay Henry was castrated when a man "became jealous when he saw the mayor drinking a beer on Sunday, when the region's blue laws prevented alcohol sales." Naturally, forced castration has not slowed down Clay's drinking.
posted by Houstonian at 1:59 PM on July 14

Cat: i can haz votes?

are lolcats over? i never know.
posted by kerning at 2:03 PM on July 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

Horse: something to do with nays! my brain is fried, but you know, yea and nay? maybe i am the only one making that connection. hm.

All those in favor, say Neigh?
posted by Solon and Thanks at 2:04 PM on July 14

Pig: No one's more anti-pork than I am!
Turkey: I'm an expert on domestic and wild (er, foreign) affairs.
Dog: Just tell me what to do and I'll do it (does not apply to bulldogs, afghans, akitas, and other stubborn breeds)

Man, you have to include the goldfish so you can use permafrost's slogan.
posted by mmw at 2:08 PM on July 14

Pig: "Yes We Ham!"

Horse: "Don't swap in mid Stream"

(1864 U.S. presidential campaign slogan of Abraham Lincoln. Also used by George W. Bush, with detractors parodying it as "Don't change horsemen in mid-apocalypse." The slogan was also used for comic effect in the film Wag the Dog.)

Chicken: "mmmm... I like Chicken"

(from "I like Ike"... bit of a stretch)


Rooster: "Early Morning Again in America"

(Regan)

"Turkeys Die in November"

(Sunflowers die in November - 1936 U.S. presidential slogan of Franklin D. Roosevelt, reference to his opponent Alf Landon, whose home state of Kansas uses the sunflower as its official state flower.)
posted by DetonatedManiac at 2:16 PM on July 14

Also

Turkey or Chicken "Down with Axes"
posted by DetonatedManiac at 2:19 PM on July 14

Dog: "A bone in every bowl and a car tire to chew on."

Roosevelt
posted by DetonatedManiac at 2:22 PM on July 14

You could make it like in Animal Farm and have the pig as the communist candidate. "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
posted by Deflagro at 2:31 PM on July 14

Aw! Deflagro beat me by seconds!

Sowing a new future!
posted by OrangeDrink at 2:35 PM on July 14

The Sow Is Mine!
posted by The Bellman at 2:43 PM on July 14

Dog: ruff on crime
posted by Pronoiac at 2:45 PM on July 14

Chicken: "Read my lips: No lips."
posted by The Bellman at 2:45 PM on July 14 [5 favorites has favorites]

Horse: I'll carry you further
posted by Pronoiac at 2:46 PM on July 14

Pig: Hog-tying the opposition
posted by Pronoiac at 2:48 PM on July 14

Cat: I'm already in charge - why not make it official?
Horse: Yes we canter!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:49 PM on July 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

Horse or Bull: This isn't my first rodeo
posted by Pronoiac at 2:49 PM on July 14

Cow: I will legalize grass
posted by Pronoiac at 2:50 PM on July 14 [2 favorites has favorites]

Turkey: Gobbling up the opposition
posted by Pronoiac at 2:52 PM on July 14

Cat & Gorilla: GOVERNING IS SERIOUS BUSINESS - NO MONKEYING AROUND
posted by Pronoiac at 3:01 PM on July 14

Pig: Wallowing in patriotism
Horse:I do my best thinking during a grass roots movement
posted by Acacia at 3:04 PM on July 14

Cow: No bull
posted by Pronoiac at 3:10 PM on July 14

Pig: Porkers of the world, unite!
posted by pokeydonut at 3:24 PM on July 14

Pig: " Yes, Lisa... One magical animal" (- Homer Simpson)
Dog: Man's Best Friend
Horse: Equility for all!
Cow: Mooving America Forward
Cat: You Can Do It. (I'm taking a nap).
Turkey: No, Pluck You.
Chicken: Eggcelence in Action!

Go negative!
Horse: Say no to dumb clucks!
Dog: I won't put the cat in catastrophe.
Chicken: I'm not Lion.
Cat: Neither Fried nor Baked
Turkey: Gobbler Not Slobberer.
posted by julen at 3:50 PM on July 14

The voice for the minority could be a lemming with the slogan "This will not end well"
posted by vito90 at 3:51 PM on July 14

I cannot believe I just read through all of these and no one recommended the following.

Chicken: "I will not cross you."
posted by strixus at 4:02 PM on July 14 [2 favorites has favorites]

I say Blue Whale for the minority vote!
posted by enamon at 4:16 PM on July 14

Pig: Because government sure ain't kosher!
posted by enamon at 4:16 PM on July 14

Chicken: Bock to Normalcy
Chicken: The Cluck Stops Here
Cat: Country Furst
Cow: Give 'Em Hell, Dairy!
Minor species: Go Clean for Sardine
posted by lemuria at 4:26 PM on July 14

Too bad sheep isn't on the list...

Sheep: Ask not what your country can do for ewe, ask what ewe can do for your country.

Cow: Four score and seven steers ago....

Dog: Mange We Can Believe In

minor species: I Like Pike!



And as an amendment to lemuria's excellent chicken slogan....how about,
"The buck-buck-buckAWK stops here."
posted by ian1977 at 6:29 PM on July 14

Horse: Gallop poll shows me in first place!
posted by starman at 5:34 AM on July 15