In the case of divorced parents, who gets to decide on funerary issues if children die?

April 12, 2009 12:41 PM

In the case of divorced parents, who gets to decide on funerary issues if children die?
posted by matkline to law & government (8 comments total)

What is the custodial agreement?
posted by decathecting at 12:49 PM on April 12

This is a hypothetical, but say that these are adult children.
posted by matkline at 12:53 PM on April 12

What is the hypothetical jurisdiction?
posted by Pants! at 1:03 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]

If the deceased is an adult then it goes to the next of kin. If there is no spouse or children the next of kin are the parents...equally.

Usually, whoever is paying for the funeral will have the most say.
posted by Jandasmo at 1:08 PM on April 12

It's also possible that it would be the executor of the estate. Depends on whether there's a will, and what kind of provisions the will contains.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 1:24 PM on April 12

I don't know what's generally done, but if the adult children who die are in the US military (and make no prearrangements), the eldest parent is the one who gets to decide what to do with the remains.
posted by lullaby at 1:49 PM on April 12

IANAL. It depends on the state, where there's probably a statutory intestate procedure that will make it way through the probate court. According to common sense, divorced parents should be as civil as necessary to book a funeral home convenient to the deceased's family or home base according to the deceased's religion of choice or whatever, unless there is closer kin (like a spouse, partner, or older kids). Maybe the parent who is closer geographically? Emotionally?
posted by motsque at 8:13 PM on April 12

As an adult child of divorced parents, I would assume it would go to my mother, who was the custodial parent. I have a will, but I don't remember spelling this out.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 6:36 AM on April 13