Close your barn door!

March 26, 2009 2:35 AM

I need some fun and creative euphemisms for telling someone his/her fly is open.

A search revealed this previous question, but it was more geared toward being subtle and polite (although there are some good ones in there). I want to compile a list that includes everything from polite to vulgar, but preferably light-hearted and silly. Regionalisms and foreign languages are welcome too. Among a group of my friends, "your fly is open" has become kind of an inside joke and a catch-all phrase for anything embarrassing, and we're running out of ways to say it.

posted by amyms to writing & language (39 comments total)

It's not related to a man's fly, but a woman's underskirt showing, but you could try "It's snowing in Paris".
posted by Solomon at 2:59 AM on March 26

Growing up in my family (not sure if this is common elsewhere or not) we'd always just kind of look upwards, knowingly, and mutter something about how "someone left the barn door open again" (helped that we actually had a barn).

Others I've heard:

You need to put your chair and tray table to their full upright and locked positions.

Security breach at Los Pantalones.

Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

Dr. Kimble has escaped. (fugitive reference)

There's a hole in your pants. Right below your belt. (I take credit for this one)
posted by allkindsoftime at 2:59 AM on March 26 [10 favorites]

*Exhibitionism is your way of saying - I'm too distracted to care about how I look. Let's face it: I'm a slob. Next!*
posted by watercarrier at 3:01 AM on March 26

Wikipedia has a few cultural ones.

Also some of mine listed above are on a popular top 20 list, if you google a little.
posted by allkindsoftime at 3:06 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]

XYZ?
posted by mdonley at 3:11 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]

in danish we say "Tivoli har åbent", which translates to "Tivoli is open" (Tivoli is an amusement park in Copenhagen).
posted by alchemist at 3:13 AM on March 26 [7 favorites]

One of my team members has had a creative way of helping me out of this situation, btw. He shoots me a text message in the middle of a meeting, something along the lines of "mind your trousers."
posted by allkindsoftime at 3:30 AM on March 26

your flags at half-mast. / is your flag flying at half-mast for a reason? or something along those lines.
posted by mary8nne at 3:34 AM on March 26

"The cave is open, but the beast is asleep."

That's actually more of a response, for when someone tells you your fly is open.
posted by bokeh at 3:38 AM on March 26

"XYZPDQ!" = Examine your zipper, pretty damn quick!
posted by sneakin at 3:57 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]

"Security breach at Los Pantalones" is absolutely brilliant, and is going to make me giggle all day.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:04 AM on March 26

Dick Cavett used conventional phraseology, but came up with an inventive way to deliver the message in front of a TV audience. Once during his talk show, Cavett was sitting on stage with two male interviewees. Without warning, Cavett said to his guests (I'm paraphrasing here): "Gentlemen, on the count of three, I'd like all three of us to stand and turn our backs to the audience." Faced with perplexed stares, he said, "Trust me on this. Here we go. One. Two. Three." All three abruptly rose and turned around. Then Cavett said, "OK. Now, one of us has his fly open." Three heads immediately went down to check, and, in a cooperative gesture, three sets of hands made simultaneous adjusting motions.

When the problem had been addressed, Cavett said, "Ready? OK, here we go." And all three returned to their chairs, with the audience none the wiser as to the hapless party.
posted by dinger at 4:11 AM on March 26 [14 favorites]

In NZ we often say "you're flying low"
posted by dydecker at 4:15 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]

"The price of metals has fallen"
posted by Happy Dave at 4:20 AM on March 26

alchemist: "in danish we say "Tivoli har åbent", which translates to "Tivoli is open" (Tivoli is an amusement park in Copenhagen)."

Similarly, in Pittsburgh we say "Kennywood is open".
posted by octothorpe at 4:24 AM on March 26 [3 favorites]

Hey Superman, you're flying low.
posted by chiefthe at 4:41 AM on March 26

"Do you have a license to sell wieners?"
posted by Lucinda at 4:55 AM on March 26 [2 favorites]

*point at zipper* "Prison break!"
posted by zerokey at 5:10 AM on March 26

You need a fly for that tackle.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 5:15 AM on March 26

When My husband and I were first married I used to inform him by saying "Post time at Santa Anita?"
Later it was shortened to "they're runnnning" "And theyyyrrrre they GO!" or "They're OFF!"
He would just whinny and stomp his foot.
posted by Acacia at 5:19 AM on March 26 [6 favorites]

My friend's family would just say, IIRC, "Airplane!"
posted by knile at 5:42 AM on March 26

Later it was shortened to "they're runnnning" "And theyyyrrrre they GO!" or "They're OFF!"
He would just whinny and stomp his foot.

halfway down this page (under "Low and Lazy") is the best reply I have ever come across.
posted by namewithoutwords at 5:46 AM on March 26

In my family (South East England) the colloquilism is 'flying without a licence'.
posted by Ness at 5:46 AM on March 26

"You have egg on your chin."
posted by MikeMc at 6:12 AM on March 26

"Do you have a license to sell hotdogs?"
"No"
"Well you better close up shop"
posted by bleucube at 6:13 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]

For a girl tell her to quit letting her cat out of the bag.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:21 AM on March 26

(sorry, a little off track) but alchemist's comment about Tivoli has a Pittsburgh counterpart -- we say, "Kennywood is open."
posted by nnk at 7:10 AM on March 26

Put the mouse back inside the house.
posted by spoons at 7:16 AM on March 26

Barn door's open

If the situation is really bad, add "and the horse is getting out"
posted by chrisamiller at 7:50 AM on March 26

Mind the gap.
posted by acorncup at 7:55 AM on March 26

Then Cavett said, "OK. Now, one of us has his fly open." Three heads immediately went down to check, and, in a cooperative gesture, three sets of hands made simultaneous adjusting motions.

I've used a variation of this when an elderly (and very formidable) friend had a very visible 'Danish amusement park problem' yet again at a party.

But I said (untruthfully) to my husband who was standing nearby "hey, your fly is open!" - which made the elderly friend glance down at himself automatically and then zip up.

(My husband was cool with the treachery - because he immediately grasped where the tact was most needed).
posted by Jody Tresidder at 8:31 AM on March 26

I recently noticed mine undone (first time ever -- I swear!) during a meeting and I turned around, mentioning that I was having a "wardrobe malfunction". So you could say to someone else "looks like you're having a wardrobe malfunction".

Prior to that, "XYZ" was my usual and preferred notification.
posted by Simon Barclay at 8:54 AM on March 26

A friend of mine's dad used to say "I see you've learnt that it pays to advertise."
posted by No-sword at 8:57 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]

Old British one - "You have a shilling on the counter."

(FYI, a shilling is old five pence piece. Up until decimalisation in 1971, there were 20 shillings to the pound and twelve pence to the shilling, meaning £1 = 20s = 240d. So decimalisation was a very good thing, although if you look hard enough you'll probably find some old Tories who still grumble about it)
posted by rhymer at 10:31 AM on March 26

Thanks everyone! I'll be able to put these to good use.
posted by amyms at 10:50 AM on March 26

I've also heard people simply call out the local ZIP code, like "65604!"
posted by PatoPata at 4:59 PM on March 26

"You've got windows on your laptop".
posted by biscotti at 5:54 PM on March 26 [1 favorite]

Your violin case is open, now everyone can see what you fiddle with.
posted by muckybob at 1:52 AM on March 27

A Korean coworker once told my husband "Your jib is free." They were both sailors.
posted by Brittanie at 8:06 AM on March 30