Anti-England Rugby songs?

March 14, 2009 1:57 PM

I am a fan of Wales' rugby team. I live with an England fan. Please help me make his life that much more annoying.

So, I've recently converted to being a rabid Welsh fan, but aforesaid flatmate (along with many other friends) have a leg up on me by having grown up here in the UK, and thus they already know all the rude songs about Wales' team. As I'm living in a country full of people whose national identity involves singing, I'm convinced there's something a bit dirtier than "As Long as We Beat the English" out there, but I have yet to find it. And I can't really spend my whole life making fun of Martin Johnson's eyebrows.

Any songs/chants/whatever people can come up with would be hugely awesome. I'm reasonably solid on the Welsh anthems, but anything is welcome :) Cheers!

posted by kalimac to sports, hobbies, & recreation (14 answers total)

Dammit, I'm just on my way out for a while but need to point you to Max Boyce, a Welsh folk singer/comedian, a little out of fashion now but his songs and catchphrases live on. You'll also need to learn to sing Sospan Fach ;-)
posted by ceri richard at 2:36 PM on March 14, 2009

Buying Welsh flags and hanging them all over the place is one well-proven strategy.
posted by fshgrl at 6:39 PM on March 14, 2009

Fake dragon tattoo that he doesn't see until he pulls off your underwear. It will slay him.
posted by meerkatty at 6:48 PM on March 14, 2009

Oh sorry, I read this question as irritating your boyfriend. Tattoo on the arm perhaps.
posted by meerkatty at 6:54 PM on March 14, 2009

I don't have an answer, but I love the question!
posted by radioamy at 11:18 PM on March 14, 2009

your flatmates life is bad enough already - give them a break!
posted by xla76 at 12:26 AM on March 15, 2009

ceri -- thank you! I'd found Hymns and Arias already, but I'll look into more of the lovely Max Boyce :)

The rest of you are equally awesome. meerkatty, I'm saving your original answer for should I ever date an Englishman. (Or a Welshman, for that matter... ;) )

xla76, the temptation to mark your answer as best is so overwhelming....all right, I'm giving in.
posted by kalimac at 1:29 AM on March 15, 2009

There's that whole "stick your fucking chariot up your ass" song that I've heard a roomful of Welsh rugby players sing while watching England lose against Wales... but I don't know much more than that.
posted by vernondalhart at 3:08 AM on March 15, 2009

Be careful as you are on exceedingly dodgy ground here.

I've recently converted to being a rabid Welsh fan, but aforesaid flatmate (along with many other friends) have a leg up on me by having grown up here in the UK

Guessing from your posting history you're a USian student. As you say, your flatmates have a leg up on you. Suddenly appearing and supporting the dominant team gives you zero credibility and no bragging rights. You have to pay your dues, earn your chops and so forth. As someone who follows a lot of sport here & in the US, it seems a lot less acceptable (or your are leaving yourself open to more ridicule) in the UK to pick the successful team to follow. (See Manchester United & Chelsea in 'soccer').

If I was one of your flatmates, my main comeback would be just to laugh at the noob who is just trying a bit too hard, has no history of support and is just following the winners.

Sure, you are making the right choice based on the country you are in and it's just bad timing that you haven't had the chance to get your spurs by following them a few years ago when they were crap but I'd win every time no matter how much England were losing. (Then again, you'd get ridicule from me just for being a rugby fan *shrugs*.)

Expect to hear a lot of 'Where were you, Where were you, Where were you when you were shit?' to the tune of the 'Hollalluog, Hollalluog, Ydyw'r Un a'm cwyd i'r lan' refrain in Cwm Rhondda. Speaking of which, try learning some Welsh. Especially rude bits that you can mutter at your flatmates at appropriate times.

(I'm guessing that 'soccer' isn't an option and if I know rugby types then you'd be excommunicated for this but getting along to see Cardiff at Ninian Park as they push for promotion to the premiership would show real cojones.)
posted by i_cola at 4:36 AM on March 15, 2009

You need this book. The first section lists all the national songs for the UK, the second section is for local teams and the third section is for generic songs and snowclones.

It's for football rather than rugby, but that's okay. In my experience most terrace chants have nothing to do with the sport in question. Why make genuine criticisms when you could be mocking the opposition's looks, heritage, intelligence and sexual proclivities?

And while i_cola would probably have a point about the Johnny-come-lately thing if you were doing this to strangers down the pub, I reckon you're okay doing it with friends in your own home. It's all part of the fun.
posted by the latin mouse at 7:02 AM on March 15, 2009

i_cola...yeah, I know. I see where you're coming from, but I've gotten bitched at about this before, and I'm well aware of how carefully I need to tread. I support Wales because I live here now, yes, but also because watching Lee Byrne run while holding onto a ball is a gorgeous sight, and makes me ridiculously happy :) I love how the Welsh team plays (even when they suck, and oh boy did they ever yesterday), I love how they move on the field, and I love the history. That they're near the top is nice, but every team falls, and I'm going to love them then, too*. I'm really careful to remember that I wasn't there for, uh, basically everything. Just like I'm not Welsh, and never will be, but I can love the country. I promise, this isn't open warfare, just me getting back at a guy who takes great joy in being obnoxious as all hell :) He'll still have the '03 team (not to mention Armitage, Flutey, etc.), and I'll still have the team from the '90's, so to speak.

If I was one of your flatmates, my main comeback would be just to laugh at the noob who is just trying a bit too hard, has no history of support and is just following the winners.

Which...is pretty much what everyone does now. In between explaining the simplest nuances of the game to me. I'm learning, I've yet to pay my dues, and I know it -- just trying to have a bit of fun with some mates. When I venture into the city centre next week, I'll keep my American mouth shut, a la what the_latin_mouse said.

*I'm a Philadelphian. I grew up with shitty sports teams. I don't know what to do when defeat hasn't just been snatched from the jaws of victory ;)
posted by kalimac at 7:30 AM on March 15, 2009

Oh! and -- yep, learning Welsh, squeezing it in between classes. And you can call it football, I'm not entirely uncultured ;)
posted by kalimac at 7:32 AM on March 15, 2009

Suddenly appearing and supporting the dominant team gives you zero credibility and no bragging rights

*I'm a Philadelphian. I grew up with shitty sports teams. I don't know what to do when defeat hasn't just been snatched from the jaws of victory ;)


Give it time. *cries*

I'd recommend http://forum.gwladrugby.com/ as a Welsh rugby forum. It's a bit cliquey and can overstpe the mark but it doesn't suffer as much from the idiocy which infects a lot of the Welsh Rugby debate.

As for anti-English songs, there's the classic "twll dyn bob saes" sung to the tune of God Save the Queen.

Welcome to the family and remember 'Show a Welshman a dozen exits, one of which is marked "Self-Destruction", and he will go right through that door.'
posted by fullerine at 11:50 AM on March 15, 2009

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE.

Thanks, fullerine, especially for the forum and the laugh ;)
posted by kalimac at 12:17 PM on March 15, 2009