Loving you is no mis-steak, but this pun is

February 13, 2009 9:44 PM

Help me think of a pun or a short poem about barbecues, meat, and love.

I got my boyfriend (who loves, loves to cook, especially grilling) a card for Valentine's day with a really cool grill filled with sausages and hamburgers on the front. It's really nice and well-made, but it was originally a birthday card for a dad so I have to glue a new message on the inside. I'd like to glue a cute saying, well-written poem (preferably by a known poet), or a stupid pun on the inside that has something to do with barbecue or meat and love. All I can think of is "Loving you is no mis-steak," but I'm seriously hoping for something better.

posted by k8lin to Writing & Language (18 answers total)

Go purloin a sirloin, my pet,
If you'd win a devotion incredible;
And asparagus tips vinaigrette,
Or anything else that is edible.
Bring salad or sausage or scrapple,
A berry or even a beet.
Bring an oyster, an egg, or an apple,
As long as it's something to eat.
If it's food,
It's food;
Never mind what kind of food.
When I ponder my mind
I consistently find
It is glued
On food.

Ogden Nash
posted by benzenedream at 9:56 PM on February 13, 2009 [1 favorite]

Wiener jokes are usually fun, if a bit childish.
posted by amicamentis at 10:04 PM on February 13, 2009

Oh my God!
What the fuck, a bar-be-que Haiku?
I love you.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:07 PM on February 13, 2009 [2 favorites]

here's a cute advertisement for lamb that ran in australia a while ago-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk5Q6cDoZCg
posted by Philby at 10:12 PM on February 13, 2009

I'm your grill and you're my broil.
posted by spiderskull at 10:22 PM on February 13, 2009 [5 favorites]

Your meat needs some heat
Scorching hot flames of desire
will make it well-done
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:49 PM on February 13, 2009

All I can think of is
"Loving you is no mis-steak,"
but I'm seriously hoping for something better.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:54 PM on February 13, 2009

Steak is tender,
Pork chops too,
When they're on a grill.
For my darling I love you,
And I always will.
posted by grouse at 11:06 PM on February 13, 2009

"I love you more than bacon."
posted by Edubya at 11:19 PM on February 13, 2009 [1 favorite]

You're barbe-cute as a mutton!
posted by spiderskull at 11:53 PM on February 13, 2009 [2 favorites]

Best answer: We were marinade for each other.

(I HAVE NO SHAME)
posted by spiderskull at 11:56 PM on February 13, 2009 [8 favorites]

Woo woo! Drunken poetry filter!

Remember remember this day of the year!
If you grill me some venison, it would be dear!

I'll grill you a turkey on a rotisserie thing.
One drumstick is mine but our hearts take wing!

You broil; I flip; but we both eat together.
Taste is a sense; indulging, an endeavor.

Charcoal or gas, they both generate heat.
Love dovey doodoo butter; I'll stab you if you cheat!

...and I'm spent.
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 12:20 AM on February 14, 2009 [3 favorites]

Your loins are tender,
Your rump is round,
Your sausage is [insert here],
My meaty Valentine.
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 1:07 AM on February 14, 2009

Best answer: When you're grillin', I'm willin'.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:01 AM on February 14, 2009

Roses are red
And so is raw meat
I'll have you in bed
Right after we eat.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:09 AM on February 14, 2009 [1 favorite]

"If God didn't mean for man to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat"?
alternative:
"If God didn't mean for man to eat animals, why did he make them out of food"?

One of these two variations was uttered by either Beavis or Butthead while working in a fast food restaurant.
posted by vito90 at 8:59 AM on February 14, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hot coals are red
Gas flames are blue
But when it comes to heat
What I want is you.
posted by jamjam at 9:26 AM on February 14, 2009

Shall I compare thee to a succulent bratwurst?
Thou art more juicy and more delicious.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 12:42 PM on February 14, 2009